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Most of labour is manageable for me - I just hate those overwhelming transitional moments. Pushing is a relief, and finally holding that baby is an incredible high - the achievement of 9 months work! Natural birth is challenging and amazing. It is like mountain climbing. You would miss the amazing feeling of accomplishment if you never tried it. Plus it's so much better for you and baby.
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I feel very fortunate as I feel I had a very easy labour. only 5hrs, I felt pushing at 6cm, but prefer that feeling over contractions (which for me weren't psin, judt really intense pressure, like a baloon blowing up inside me until it bursts and goes down. )
actually has me worried the other way, in that I remember it being so easy, ill assume next time will be and not prepare as much (when it probably was my prep that made it easy)
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I also find birth very painful and I had a crisis of confidence about a month before I was due too. The reality hits and as much as you know all the good stuff, the fact that it's going to be hard work is inescapable. I agree that it's like any endurance sport, mountain climbing, marathon running... the reward is partly in the fact that it IS hard. It is such an amazing achievement and given I'm a little lazy I'm not sure I'll experience that any other way in my life because I'm not keen on the idea of running a marathon
It's exciting to see you planning your next baby PZ! I want to have another baby in Feb 2015. I keep getting confused about when we need to TTC. I don't get enough sleep these days! But that's the plan anyway
Last edited by meow; August 4th, 2013 at 07:51 AM.
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Thanks ladies! Luckily I already have an awesome midwife who would be on board with it. We haven't talked much about birth yet because she knows I am undecided. Though Im pretty certain I want to do this. Then I read all of you talking how painful it is!! hahaha
For me I am nervous of the unknown but focusing on HOW painful my csection was helps. I feel I am a great candidate for it. My first was a successful vaginal birth (with lots of interventions), and my 2nd was breech presentation so thats why I had a c-section. I have a bicornuate uterus so the unknown of IF that affects this process scares me.
I just need reassurance that I CAN do it. In America pain is so taboo and there are pain meds everywhere that not many people understand wanting to do it WITH pain.
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I think it helps to know is is SUPPOSED to hurt. My Dh put it interestingly the other night. He said the pain helps women focus and go inwards to block out everything else and just labour. It isn't pathogical pain but good pain.
I like the fact your body gets used to the pain too and the first few contractions are often the hardest because you're getting used to it, but by the end you're coping with double peak contractions tumbling one over the other until you start pushing.
I love the big breaks you get in the pushing stage. It is blissful. For me the fear is that last bit, the crowning and I have to remind myself 'when it hurts the most you're almost there!'
I too love birth because I will never run a marathon, but I know my body can do the extreme sport of birth with ease. It's incredible.
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A good friend of mine just had a c-section after 5 vaginal births. She'll definitely tell you YOU DON'T WANT A C-SECTION!
I never felt any apprehension about labour until baby #6, that I can remember. I always looked forward to it as a challenge, and felt like each time was going to be better. But with #6, I was really looking up against it, and I have the same thing, (but to a lesser degree) this time. Not sure what changed to make me feel this way. I've had easy labours and births, mostly under 3 hr, and never needed any stitching or anything. Short labours are intense though - it is a pretty tough 3 hr, especially at the end! And like I said before, I think it might be because I achieved my goal (home water birth) and now I don't have anything left to improve on, if you know what I mean. I'm considering trying a TENS machine this time around, having heard some good reviews from other mums. The only drawback is I can't use the water then, and I do LOVE the bath in labour! I'll have to talk about it with my midwife and see what she thinks.
2014 BellyBelly RAK Recipient.
I had a bad night last night. With pelvic pain and bh contractions. Found if difficult to get comfortable. I was diagnosed with an irritable uterus with my ds at 38w, and remember that last week of pg was harder than labour. I won't say it hurt more, but it was the fact that it was pain with no foreseeable end.
So now I'm getting anxious that the rest of my pg is going to be the same as the last week, but I'm only 34w along. And I think this anxiety was the precursor to me ending up with pnd. I just find it very hard to deal with loss of control over my own body, especially related to my past. But I don't want to be like this this time.
I thought it would be better this time, as I've at least been through it before. But as soon as I'm in the pain, I start stressing that I'm going into early labour and won't get my home water birth. And afterwards I feel like an idiot for overreacting. And then I stress about cortisol release when I get anxious.
So it shows that labour doesn't bother me in the scheme of things. More the late stages of pregnancy and pre labour.
I'm sorry for my rant, just need to get it out of my system.
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Keep talking WM and others. Hopefully it helps you, and it will be helping someone else now or in the future. WM, i hope you are talking to your midwife too. The benefit of having a homebirth with an IM is you have that contact that you can call any time. Please open up the conversation if you haven't already.
My labour with DS was pretty good, especially the actual birth bit. I didn't really push, didn't get ring of fire, just pressure and breathed him out. I am a bit worried that i won't be able to achieve that again.
I so agree with Arcadia that it is a good thing to know that it is supposed to hurt, and you are not doing anything wrong it it hurts or have periods where you question all your plans. It can still hurt, you can have doubts and cry or swear and have a tanty, but you can still get there.
Does anyone else cry in labour?
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This is the key for me. I have had a lot of surgeries and the one I woke up from with the worst pain was one of the most minor ones. But I went in to it telling myself it was minor so it wouldn't hurt. When I woke up in pain I panicked and my blood pressure went through the roof and I was in So. Much. Pain! Only time I had morphine after an operation.
Now I know I do better to prepare for pain. Then I'm okay with it and I surrender and don't fight it and it hurts less. Both of my labours were like this and they went pretty well. Both drug free and pretty calm. There are moments when I'm over it and feeling sore and sorry for myself but mostly I've been calm and able to ride the wave well.
I don't think I've cried in labour... but I don't remember. I do think I've moaned in a sobbing type voice at times, but I don't think I've ever had the energy to cry.
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I cried during Eden's because I was just so terrified of what was happening.
Sahti's I was more composed and knew it would end soon so no, I didn't cry. I screamed and was swearing and was angry when I was pushing her out but thats because my midwives told me to do that.
2014 BellyBelly RAK Recipient.
Yes hoti I have spoken to midwife, and we will discuss it more tomorrow at our appt. How to deal with the anxiety and relax a bit I think.
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ok...so I'll step in and say i am one of those that has experienced a truly painless and totally joyous birth (in that there wasnt a moment of fear or pain). and it was AMAZING. it was my first HB (so DD2s birth). it was more magical than my wildest imaginings. i had read that account of Read where the first time labour of one of the women he witnessed and she turned around after he asked her why she didnt appear to be in pain and she responded: "was it meant to hurt?" before i had DD2 and didnt understand it or believe that it could actually be true. after DD2s birth i realised just how true it could be. it is truly, one of those life experiences i will never forget.
I didnt get that the third time around though despite similar birth conditions (home, same IM etc). but i had some triggers from my not so nice first experience....and i will put it out there that I *really* dislike giving birth at night. dude, i just wanna sleep LMAO! i was alot more grumpier this last time TBH and didnt get the huge high or rush. it was a bit too matter of fact for my liking. i mean, it was magical and all and i was stoked, but it was a bit too, well, normal. i guess i wanted a bit more of a special intense experience like i had with DD2s birth. like Cricket i have really quick births and i think that also contributed to DD3s birth being a bit 'wham bam' all done and dusted before the festivities could kick in IYKWIM.
I hope that if i ever get the chance to have another baby that i get to honor the journey and the upcoming birth with the respect and awesomeness that it deserves. i got to blase after DD2s birth
WM: i was the same with the threatened preterm labour of DD3...i was so so worried that i wouldnt get my home waterbirth...it really plagued me until i hit that magical 36 week mark and i knew that we could stay home. bighere's to the next few weeks passing without incident so that you can go back to just getting into labour-land!
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ok...so I'll step in and say i am one of those that has experienced a truly painless and totally joyous birth (in that there wasnt a moment of fear or pain). and it was AMAZING. it was my first HB (so DD2s birth). it was more magical than my wildest imaginings. i had read that account of Read where the first time labour of one of the women he witnessed and she turned around after he asked her why she didnt appear to be in pain and she responded: "was it meant to hurt?" before i had DD2 and didnt understand it or believe that it could actually be true. after DD2s birth i realised just how true it could be. it is truly, one of those life experiences i will never forget.
I didnt get that the third time around though despite similar birth conditions (home, same IM etc). but i had some triggers from my not so nice first experience....and i will put it out there that I *really* dislike giving birth at night. dude, i just wanna sleep LMAO! i was alot more grumpier this last time TBH and didnt get the huge high or rush. it was a bit too matter of fact for my liking
I hope that if i ever get the chance to have another baby that i get to honor the journey and the upcoming birth with the respect and awesomeness that it deserves. i got to blase after DD2s birth
WM: i was the same with the threatened preterm labour of DD3...i was so so worried that i wouldnt get my home waterbirth...it really plagued me until i hit that magical 36 week mark and i knew that we could stay home. big
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WM - have you tried calcium and magnesium for the irritable uterus? And apparently cramp bark is supposed to be quite helpful too. I'm doing cal-mag for crampiness and leg cramps and it is definitely helping. Probably your midwife has given you all that info already though. Hope things settle down for you soon! There's enough business in the last few weeks without adding the extra stress and strain of preterm labour!
2014 BellyBelly RAK Recipient.
Yes cricket, I started taking magnesium a couple of weeks ago to help with the leg cramps. And I'm still taking elevit. Got midwife appt today so hopefully she has a few more tips. Just trying to do relaxation methods currently, to see if they help. Gym ball has been helping to get comfortable and rotate hips.
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I've been getting restless legs of a night time, just in my calves, so I get DH to rub them instead of my feet if they are really bad. The extra blood flow seems to help I think?
I'm feeling slightly better about birth now, I think it was as was mentioned before - a crisis of confidence (thats what it was wasn't it?) I was thinking last night while I was putting DD3 to sleep (because I will be birthing in her room) and I was breaking it down in my head - my midwife doesn't expect me to labour longer than 5 hours, if I manage my breathing. Surely I can manage my breathing for that small amount of time. Then I was getting into the nitty gritty, if I have a contraction every 5 minutes, thats like 20 an hour, so 100 contractions that I would have to get through. At least half of those would be early type labour and very manageable, and in my last labour it was really only the last half an hour before pushing that I found them harder to manage - so thats like 6ish contractions that could possibly be harder for me to manage.
Overall - that doesn't seem like very much so in my (somewhat illogical) brain - of COURSE I can do this!
I've done it before, I will do it again and it won't be like Eden's labour because I didn't know anything back then. I didn't know that the more it was hurting the closer I was getting to the end - I know that now. I didn't know that I would survive it - I know I will now.
So thats just my musings for the moment.
On a different matter - why are so many people against homebirth? I don't get it? The biggest thing I get is - "aren't you scared of birthing at home instead of in a hospital?" and "what if something goes wrong and the baby dies?"
I don't get what can go wrong at home that can't go wrong in the hospital? Its like babies don't die in the hospital or something - and its only home birth that is risky. I think if you have any medical professional that isn't good at what they do, then something could happen any where... Maybe this is just coming from my personal experience - my sister lost her baby at 38 weeks and the week before she was contracting and losing fluid, but refused to ring the hospital and go and get checked up. Maybe if she had a midwife that she trusted, she might have told her what was going on and then she may not have lost her? I dunno, just random thoughts in my head that I have to get out, so I apologise to everyone for my random thoughts here.......
*cough cough* Uh. Carry on.
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DD2's birth was hard work, but I would not describe it as painful. It was over much quicker than I expected and I was shocked that I didn't really ever find I wasn't coping. The pushing was too long and hard for my liking, but I never felt anything other than in control. It wasn't orgasmic (not sure how that happens, but I'll grant everyone is different!), but the rush and joy after she was born was heightened by the lack of tiredness and delight that it was all done so much faster than I expected. It did feel so very normal and ordinary at the same time, which is kinda hard to explain.
Like I said, I didn't find the labour enjoyable, since it was hard work and I'm not a huge fan of hard work, but I found it completely within my limits to cope. It's different for everyone. I didn't have any past trauma or triggers to come up, that probably helped. And all the chiro, aqua aerobics, gardening, etc, that I did in the lead up meant baby was in an absolutely perfect position. And I have a high pain threshold, noted by other medical professionals over the years. There are so many variables within how painful a woman will find birth that it's impossible to predict perfectly how it will go with each woman and even with each birth, IMHO. This time, baby might not cooperate quite as well, it might be bigger, etc, etc, etc. I'm not going to take it for granted that my last experience will define this one, although there are probably some factors I can take away from it. I will prepare myself physically, emotionally and mentally as well as I can again, just in case it was a fluke, or it was the preparation that got us there last time!
Arimeh - I LOVE your breakdown! That's a great way to look at it. I did try telling myself that each contraction was one step closer, one less to have. Your way is even clearer. You know I'm so using that for myself down the track.
Not sure on the HB and why you would be scared presumption. Since I've done it before, most tend to classify me as one of those 'different' women who are lucky enough to not have birthing difficulties, so therefore I'm okay to birth at home. When really, it's the other way around IMO, I didn't have any birthing difficulties BECAUSE I stayed at home. First time around I just told people we'd booked into a hospital in case we needed to transfer and it was only five mins down the road. I assume a fair portion just figured I'd probably end up there anyway. Except that I turned out to be 'lucky'.
I'm so sorry about your sister, btw. While I know many women who lost a bub, it's really hard when it's someone close and you're involved in the experience. Especially when you are pg. I'm having a hard time not being afraid of the scan on Wed, because while I was pg with DD2 (but further advanced) a close friend lost her bub just before it and found out at the scan. I'm worried I'm not feeling the baby enough, that I'm not getting big enough, etc, etc. I don't want to go to the scan, but on the other hand I can't wait to have it over and just be passed that stage. My worry about whether bub is okay or not seems to be getting worse with each pg.
Last edited by Jennifer13; August 5th, 2013 at 10:51 AM.
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And I'm sure everyone I know expects me to transfer and they will all be like "haha I knew she couldn't do it, home birth is dangerous blah blah blah" but if I'm being transferred from a home birth its for a bloody good reason and I'm ok with that. I trust my midwives at home, I don't trust the ones at the hospital that are following hospital policy
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