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I think i have decided on my birth support! Spoke to a birth worker yesterday (she was IM for DS birth), and i just felt good. Meeting up next week sometime so talk through some things.
when you know, you know, yeah?
Thanks everyone, dunno why I have these random freak outs - I've done it twice without drugs but somehow feel that I can't do it again and those times it was a fluke - weird crap that is in my head. I have to go talk to the mental health midwife in the midwifery group I'm going through, I talked about it with my midwife yesterday and she said that it would be a good idea to go and purge all this stuff out before the birth, and all I should focus on is my breath through labour. And everything else will fall into place, I just have to concentrate on my breathing.
HotI - yup I believe that when you know, you know!
AFM - I went to the midwife yesterday, baby is no longer breech but is oblique and lying like he's in a hammock - back towards my back with his legs and arms sprawled out. Glad he's comfortable because I'm not particularly!! LOL So I've been told to go see a chiropractor (which I should about my SPD anyway) and keep doing stuff from spinning babies to get him to get his grinding hard head out of my hip!
i think i have decided this time that i have to accept that it is going to hurt and lots, but i will get through it. First time i wasn't at home, had syntocinon, restricted movement, baby was posterior... and so for #2, i think i went into it thinking that it wasn't going to hurt as much cos i had eliminated some of the issues. But it still hurt. lots. In some ways, i was more in tune with what i was feeling and i distinctly remember my pelvis opening as baby went through. I guess i was a bit shocked by the pain and had my crisis of confidence wondering if i was going to get through it. It would be nice to have an orgasmic labour, but i don't think that will happen.
I fully reserve the right to freak out again in a few months, but in the safety of my 1st tri position, i am feeling ok.
good luck with the chiro.
I know I kind of feel like since I've had a couple home water births, I've experienced the best that birth can be, and its still hard. That makes it a little harder to face now, I think. I'm out of new tricks to try. I get those panicky moments, remembering transition times from previous births. But I do find it helps to remind myself that that time is really pretty short, and that when I get to that point, then I'm almost done and ready to meet my baby. :)
If I can redirect my thoughts, it definitely helps my mind set, and I can be more positive.
I honestly feel the same about birth. I've had two drug free births, one in hospital and one at home. Obviously they had marked differences, but the labours themselves were very similar; that being, about an hour of easy, mild contractions about 12-7 minutes apart...and then 5ish hours of intensely painful contractions 2 minutes or less apart. For me, labour, as much as I want it to be, is not a serene, magical experience. It's like a full on workout. It's painful, it requires every ounce of my concentration and will. I need thorough support and encouragement. I doubt myself hugely. The actual giving birth, god I love that. Knowing baby is coming, that it's almost over, that I'm going to meet my little child soon, so amazing. Baby coming out, exhilarating! But labour? Hard, hard work. With DD1 I didn't know what to expect, and although I was pretty shocked by how much it actually hurt, the joy of meeting my first child wiped it from my mind. With DD2, I was convinced the majority of my pain was due to being in a hospital environment, and preparing for a Homebirth would make it different. I actually found DD2's labour more painful than DD1's, although I didn't lose my composure like I did halfway through DD1's. Now, I know it's going to hurt. Both my labours have been 6 and 6.5 hours respectively. So I'm prepared for at least 6 hours. I'm prepared to not have a serene birth, I'm prepared for it to be a challenge and super hard work, and that actually makes me feel a lot better about next time, because instead of spending my pregnancy preparing for a lovely, happy, relaxed labour, I'm going to prepare myself for dealing with the pain in the best ways I can :):
Yes I believe birth is supposed to hurt. I find it very painful and confronting, but when you're expecting that its less of a shock.
I find the pushing bit the hardest because of the intensity of surface stretching and the clarity of my mind. The labour stuff is just breathe and surrender. Pushing is where I need to work hard because I find my mind is clear and I start thinking and feeling scared. You need so much courage to birth and that's why I really love it.
Yes!! I think this is why I love it too. You find a strength within that you never believed could exist!:
I'm the opposite, I find pushing easier to deal with and almost enjoyable (you know, as much as it can be, when you're pushing a human out of your privates). I find it satisfying and exciting, but a lot of hard work.
You ladies are making me very broody. We're not TTC until December next year, so I've got a fair bit of waiting to do and living vicariously through all of you.
I'm the same. I think I liked that I had some control over the pushing stage, so the pain seemed a lot less (until the ring of fire that is lol). But I find it hard not knowing what's going on with my own body. But I'm surprised, so far I'm having no feelings of fear or dread regarding impending labour.
I'm the opposite in regards to pushing too, though I've not done it all natural yet. With Ianto it was such a relief and felt so goooood. With Amelia it was like "oh, FINALLY we're getting somewhere, I'm doing things MY WAY now!" - it was the one part I felt in control even when they were still trying to direct things.
I must admit I'm a little worried/scared of natural birth not being as awesome as I hope it is. I don't know how I labour naturally, but I'm hoping its close to how it was with Ianto. That was an alright labour aside from the obvious :) I *know* it won't be like with Amelia, because I recognise that was mostly due to my negative emotions at the situation...
Most of labour is manageable for me - I just hate those overwhelming transitional moments. Pushing is a relief, and finally holding that baby is an incredible high - the achievement of 9 months work! Natural birth is challenging and amazing. It is like mountain climbing. You would miss the amazing feeling of accomplishment if you never tried it. Plus it's so much better for you and baby.
I feel very fortunate as I feel I had a very easy labour. only 5hrs, I felt pushing at 6cm, but prefer that feeling over contractions (which for me weren't psin, judt really intense pressure, like a baloon blowing up inside me until it bursts and goes down. )
actually has me worried the other way, in that I remember it being so easy, ill assume next time will be and not prepare as much (when it probably was my prep that made it easy)
I also find birth very painful and I had a crisis of confidence about a month before I was due too. The reality hits and as much as you know all the good stuff, the fact that it's going to be hard work is inescapable. I agree that it's like any endurance sport, mountain climbing, marathon running... the reward is partly in the fact that it IS hard. It is such an amazing achievement and given I'm a little lazy I'm not sure I'll experience that any other way in my life because I'm not keen on the idea of running a marathon :lol:
It's exciting to see you planning your next baby PZ! I want to have another baby in Feb 2015. I keep getting confused about when we need to TTC. I don't get enough sleep these days! But that's the plan anyway :)
Thanks ladies! Luckily I already have an awesome midwife who would be on board with it. We haven't talked much about birth yet because she knows I am undecided. Though Im pretty certain I want to do this. Then I read all of you talking how painful it is!! hahaha
For me I am nervous of the unknown but focusing on HOW painful my csection was helps. I feel I am a great candidate for it. My first was a successful vaginal birth (with lots of interventions), and my 2nd was breech presentation so thats why I had a c-section. I have a bicornuate uterus so the unknown of IF that affects this process scares me.
I just need reassurance that I CAN do it. In America pain is so taboo and there are pain meds everywhere that not many people understand wanting to do it WITH pain.
I think it helps to know is is SUPPOSED to hurt. My Dh put it interestingly the other night. He said the pain helps women focus and go inwards to block out everything else and just labour. It isn't pathogical pain but good pain.
I like the fact your body gets used to the pain too and the first few contractions are often the hardest because you're getting used to it, but by the end you're coping with double peak contractions tumbling one over the other until you start pushing.
I love the big breaks you get in the pushing stage. It is blissful. For me the fear is that last bit, the crowning and I have to remind myself 'when it hurts the most you're almost there!'
I too love birth because I will never run a marathon, but I know my body can do the extreme sport of birth with ease. It's incredible.
A good friend of mine just had a c-section after 5 vaginal births. She'll definitely tell you YOU DON'T WANT A C-SECTION! :) (Her water broke at 25 weeks and she had a borderline placenta previa and a breech baby. They held off delivery until 29+5, and mom and baby are doing well now, btw. Baby just came home a couple days ago.) And while labour is painful and challenging, it's short - a day of pain, even if it's a longer labour, if you know what I mean. You don't have nearly the recovery time of a c-section. I was up and about immediately, and felt just about normal within a couple days. Don't second guess your desire for a natural homebirth! It's still hard, but it's the best, and in some ways the easiest way to go.
I never felt any apprehension about labour until baby #6, that I can remember. I always looked forward to it as a challenge, and felt like each time was going to be better. But with #6, I was really looking up against it, and I have the same thing, (but to a lesser degree) this time. Not sure what changed to make me feel this way. I've had easy labours and births, mostly under 3 hr, and never needed any stitching or anything. Short labours are intense though - it is a pretty tough 3 hr, especially at the end! And like I said before, I think it might be because I achieved my goal (home water birth) and now I don't have anything left to improve on, if you know what I mean. I'm considering trying a TENS machine this time around, having heard some good reviews from other mums. The only drawback is I can't use the water then, and I do LOVE the bath in labour! I'll have to talk about it with my midwife and see what she thinks.
I had a bad night last night. With pelvic pain and bh contractions. Found if difficult to get comfortable. I was diagnosed with an irritable uterus with my ds at 38w, and remember that last week of pg was harder than labour. I won't say it hurt more, but it was the fact that it was pain with no foreseeable end.
So now I'm getting anxious that the rest of my pg is going to be the same as the last week, but I'm only 34w along. And I think this anxiety was the precursor to me ending up with pnd. I just find it very hard to deal with loss of control over my own body, especially related to my past. But I don't want to be like this this time.
I thought it would be better this time, as I've at least been through it before. But as soon as I'm in the pain, I start stressing that I'm going into early labour and won't get my home water birth. And afterwards I feel like an idiot for overreacting. And then I stress about cortisol release when I get anxious.
So it shows that labour doesn't bother me in the scheme of things. More the late stages of pregnancy and pre labour.
I'm sorry for my rant, just need to get it out of my system.
Keep talking WM and others. Hopefully it helps you, and it will be helping someone else now or in the future. WM, i hope you are talking to your midwife too. The benefit of having a homebirth with an IM is you have that contact that you can call any time. Please open up the conversation if you haven't already.
My labour with DS was pretty good, especially the actual birth bit. I didn't really push, didn't get ring of fire, just pressure and breathed him out. I am a bit worried that i won't be able to achieve that again.
I so agree with Arcadia that it is a good thing to know that it is supposed to hurt, and you are not doing anything wrong it it hurts or have periods where you question all your plans. It can still hurt, you can have doubts and cry or swear and have a tanty, but you can still get there.
Does anyone else cry in labour?
This is the key for me. I have had a lot of surgeries and the one I woke up from with the worst pain was one of the most minor ones. But I went in to it telling myself it was minor so it wouldn't hurt. When I woke up in pain I panicked and my blood pressure went through the roof and I was in So. Much. Pain! Only time I had morphine after an operation.:
Now I know I do better to prepare for pain. Then I'm okay with it and I surrender and don't fight it and it hurts less. Both of my labours were like this and they went pretty well. Both drug free and pretty calm. There are moments when I'm over it and feeling sore and sorry for myself but mostly I've been calm and able to ride the wave well.
I don't think I've cried in labour... but I don't remember. I do think I've moaned in a sobbing type voice at times, but I don't think I've ever had the energy to cry.
I cried during Eden's because I was just so terrified of what was happening.
Sahti's I was more composed and knew it would end soon so no, I didn't cry. I screamed and was swearing and was angry when I was pushing her out but thats because my midwives told me to do that.
Yes hoti I have spoken to midwife, and we will discuss it more tomorrow at our appt. How to deal with the anxiety and relax a bit I think.
ok...so I'll step in and say i am one of those that has experienced a truly painless and totally joyous birth (in that there wasnt a moment of fear or pain). and it was AMAZING. it was my first HB (so DD2s birth). it was more magical than my wildest imaginings. i had read that account of Read where the first time labour of one of the women he witnessed and she turned around after he asked her why she didnt appear to be in pain and she responded: "was it meant to hurt?" before i had DD2 and didnt understand it or believe that it could actually be true. after DD2s birth i realised just how true it could be. it is truly, one of those life experiences i will never forget.
I didnt get that the third time around though despite similar birth conditions (home, same IM etc). but i had some triggers from my not so nice first experience....and i will put it out there that I *really* dislike giving birth at night. dude, i just wanna sleep LMAO! i was alot more grumpier this last time TBH and didnt get the huge high or rush. it was a bit too matter of fact for my liking :(. i mean, it was magical and all and i was stoked, but it was a bit too, well, normal. i guess i wanted a bit more of a special intense experience like i had with DD2s birth. like Cricket i have really quick births and i think that also contributed to DD3s birth being a bit 'wham bam' all done and dusted before the festivities could kick in IYKWIM.
I hope that if i ever get the chance to have another baby that i get to honor the journey and the upcoming birth with the respect and awesomeness that it deserves. i got to blase after DD2s birth :lol:
WM: i was the same with the threatened preterm labour of DD3...i was so so worried that i wouldnt get my home waterbirth...it really plagued me until i hit that magical 36 week mark and i knew that we could stay home. big :hug: here's to the next few weeks passing without incident so that you can go back to just getting into labour-land!
ok...so I'll step in and say i am one of those that has experienced a truly painless and totally joyous birth (in that there wasnt a moment of fear or pain). and it was AMAZING. it was my first HB (so DD2s birth). it was more magical than my wildest imaginings. i had read that account of Read where the first time labour of one of the women he witnessed and she turned around after he asked her why she didnt appear to be in pain and she responded: "was it meant to hurt?" before i had DD2 and didnt understand it or believe that it could actually be true. after DD2s birth i realised just how true it could be. it is truly, one of those life experiences i will never forget.
I didnt get that the third time around though despite similar birth conditions (home, same IM etc). but i had some triggers from my not so nice first experience....and i will put it out there that I *really* dislike giving birth at night. dude, i just wanna sleep LMAO! i was alot more grumpier this last time TBH and didnt get the huge high or rush. it was a bit too matter of fact for my liking :(. i mean, it was magical and all and i was stoked, but it was a bit too, well, normal. i guess i wanted a bit more of a special intense experience like i had with DD2s birth. like Cricket i have really quick births and i think that also contributed to DD3s birth being a bit 'wham bam' all done and dusted before the festivities could kick in IYKWIM.
I hope that if i ever get the chance to have another baby that i get to honor the journey and the upcoming birth with the respect and awesomeness that it deserves. i got to blase after DD2s birth :lol:
WM: i was the same with the threatened preterm labour of DD3...i was so so worried that i wouldnt get my home waterbirth...it really plagued me until i hit that magical 36 week mark and i knew that we could stay home. big :hug: here's to the next few weeks passing without incident so that you can go back to just getting into labour-land!
WM - have you tried calcium and magnesium for the irritable uterus? And apparently cramp bark is supposed to be quite helpful too. I'm doing cal-mag for crampiness and leg cramps and it is definitely helping. Probably your midwife has given you all that info already though. Hope things settle down for you soon! There's enough business in the last few weeks without adding the extra stress and strain of preterm labour!
Yes cricket, I started taking magnesium a couple of weeks ago to help with the leg cramps. And I'm still taking elevit. Got midwife appt today so hopefully she has a few more tips. Just trying to do relaxation methods currently, to see if they help. Gym ball has been helping to get comfortable and rotate hips.
I've been getting restless legs of a night time, just in my calves, so I get DH to rub them instead of my feet if they are really bad. The extra blood flow seems to help I think?
I'm feeling slightly better about birth now, I think it was as was mentioned before - a crisis of confidence (thats what it was wasn't it?) I was thinking last night while I was putting DD3 to sleep (because I will be birthing in her room) and I was breaking it down in my head - my midwife doesn't expect me to labour longer than 5 hours, if I manage my breathing. Surely I can manage my breathing for that small amount of time. Then I was getting into the nitty gritty, if I have a contraction every 5 minutes, thats like 20 an hour, so 100 contractions that I would have to get through. At least half of those would be early type labour and very manageable, and in my last labour it was really only the last half an hour before pushing that I found them harder to manage - so thats like 6ish contractions that could possibly be harder for me to manage.
Overall - that doesn't seem like very much so in my (somewhat illogical) brain - of COURSE I can do this!
I've done it before, I will do it again and it won't be like Eden's labour because I didn't know anything back then. I didn't know that the more it was hurting the closer I was getting to the end - I know that now. I didn't know that I would survive it - I know I will now.
So thats just my musings for the moment.
On a different matter - why are so many people against homebirth? I don't get it? The biggest thing I get is - "aren't you scared of birthing at home instead of in a hospital?" and "what if something goes wrong and the baby dies?"
I don't get what can go wrong at home that can't go wrong in the hospital? Its like babies don't die in the hospital or something - and its only home birth that is risky. I think if you have any medical professional that isn't good at what they do, then something could happen any where... Maybe this is just coming from my personal experience - my sister lost her baby at 38 weeks and the week before she was contracting and losing fluid, but refused to ring the hospital and go and get checked up. Maybe if she had a midwife that she trusted, she might have told her what was going on and then she may not have lost her? I dunno, just random thoughts in my head that I have to get out, so I apologise to everyone for my random thoughts here.......
*cough cough* Uh. Carry on.
DD2's birth was hard work, but I would not describe it as painful. It was over much quicker than I expected and I was shocked that I didn't really ever find I wasn't coping. The pushing was too long and hard for my liking, but I never felt anything other than in control. It wasn't orgasmic (not sure how that happens, but I'll grant everyone is different!), but the rush and joy after she was born was heightened by the lack of tiredness and delight that it was all done so much faster than I expected. It did feel so very normal and ordinary at the same time, which is kinda hard to explain.
Like I said, I didn't find the labour enjoyable, since it was hard work and I'm not a huge fan of hard work ;), but I found it completely within my limits to cope. It's different for everyone. I didn't have any past trauma or triggers to come up, that probably helped. And all the chiro, aqua aerobics, gardening, etc, that I did in the lead up meant baby was in an absolutely perfect position. And I have a high pain threshold, noted by other medical professionals over the years. There are so many variables within how painful a woman will find birth that it's impossible to predict perfectly how it will go with each woman and even with each birth, IMHO. This time, baby might not cooperate quite as well, it might be bigger, etc, etc, etc. I'm not going to take it for granted that my last experience will define this one, although there are probably some factors I can take away from it. I will prepare myself physically, emotionally and mentally as well as I can again, just in case it was a fluke, or it was the preparation that got us there last time!
Arimeh - I LOVE your breakdown! That's a great way to look at it. I did try telling myself that each contraction was one step closer, one less to have. Your way is even clearer. You know I'm so using that for myself down the track. ;)
Not sure on the HB and why you would be scared presumption. Since I've done it before, most tend to classify me as one of those 'different' women who are lucky enough to not have birthing difficulties, so therefore I'm okay to birth at home. When really, it's the other way around IMO, I didn't have any birthing difficulties BECAUSE I stayed at home. First time around I just told people we'd booked into a hospital in case we needed to transfer and it was only five mins down the road. I assume a fair portion just figured I'd probably end up there anyway. Except that I turned out to be 'lucky'. ;)
I'm so sorry about your sister, btw. While I know many women who lost a bub, it's really hard when it's someone close and you're involved in the experience. Especially when you are pg. I'm having a hard time not being afraid of the scan on Wed, because while I was pg with DD2 (but further advanced) a close friend lost her bub just before it and found out at the scan. I'm worried I'm not feeling the baby enough, that I'm not getting big enough, etc, etc. I don't want to go to the scan, but on the other hand I can't wait to have it over and just be passed that stage. My worry about whether bub is okay or not seems to be getting worse with each pg. :( And because this one was unplanned and I took so long to come around to the idea, I'm now worried it's all going to be taken away from me.
:hug: Jennifer, I'm sure all is fine with your baby! I didn't feel this one until the night before my scan - but that was at 18 weeks, however, I didn't feel any of my DD's moving until between 22 and 24 weeks! And obviously they are all fine... just because it was an accident, doesn't mean its not meant to be ;) I think its the opposite - it IS meant to be, thats why it was an accident!
And I'm sure everyone I know expects me to transfer and they will all be like "haha I knew she couldn't do it, home birth is dangerous blah blah blah" but if I'm being transferred from a home birth its for a bloody good reason and I'm ok with that. I trust my midwives at home, I don't trust the ones at the hospital that are following hospital policy ;)
Was speaking to midwife about same thing. It's funny that apparently you're more likely to lose your baby at home rather than in hospital. Considering I've actually heard of deaths happening at hospital but no one I personally know has died having home birth.:
And I love your brains workings. I think whatever helps to make the whole process easier.
I think the term 'home birth' is used too broadly to encompass free birthers as well. I've heard of a few deaths of babies in the freebirth community, but very rarely in the Homebirth (as in midwife attended birth and good prenatal care).
Scan showed all fine, baby GIRL measuring a bit smaller than my dates, so thinking 6 Jan is a realistic guess for birthing.
But I was a bit surprised at the extra risk aversion in the scanning - said they now do a routine internal to provide even more analysis of cervix. I politely declined, since the u/s indicated all fine there anyway. Placenta is on back wall, currently 2 cm from cervix, again, just fine for this stage. Sonographer said some obs like it to be 5 cm away at term - what the?! I told her I wasn't seeing an ob, but a private m/w and in any case, even when I had, he was after 2 cm away at term with DD1's pg. I second guess even that advice!
All of my low lying placenta research classified it as a problem either over, or verging on cervix and there is some support for concern at less than 2cm, but 5cm seems just ridiculous. The no of 'elective' c/s you'd be scheduling at that point would be much higher.
Woohoo for a girl :D
I think 5cm is a more than sufficient to be safe, so I don't know where the tech was coming from there :-/ As you said, it's 2cm or lower where "they" start worrying, really.
My scan on Monday was all good too, finally got a few pictures where baby looks like a baby :lol: Still on that annoying X-ray film though, so to share it I've had to hold it up to the light and take photos that way. We even went to a different radiology place for them! The staff were much nicer though, so that was good :)
All plodding along nicely here, still a couple of weeks until my next appointment. The new bed/mattress has helped my hip pain, now it's just groin pain :-/
Congratulations on your little girl!!!! What a wonderful little group of sisters they will be :D
Ugh at the risk stuff!!! An internal scan at 19 weeks to check the cervix on a 3rd time mother??? WTF? And I *love* how he's talking about making the "high risk" banner bigger with the 5cm clearance. More and more women keep being declared 'high risk' when they keep moving the goal posts closer and closer in.
They did a similar thing with GD, when they lowered the threshold from which women were declared to have GD.
Jenn- Congrats on your 3rd girl!!! We are having 3 girls as well!
I had my midwife appt today and we had a long discussion about homebirth. She told me all of the procedures for IF there is an emergency and it made me feel SO much better. This sounds horrible but I kind of thought if there was an emergency you were just screwed o.O She put all my worries aside and even told me she has birthing tubs she brings so I dont have to rent one! Im getting so excited! We discussed pain and I asked the golden question " What happens if Im in pain and start to wimp out" and she said something that has empowered me " Than I know you are about ready to have that baby". <3
Jan 6 is a good day to have a baby Jen ;)
Sorry haven't replied/acknowledged everyone's reply to my question about the GTT, haven't been in the best place lately.
Anyway just gave in and did it this morning as I hadn't been feeling the greatest despite other things being ok so blood sugars were the next thing to check. What a horrible test, blah! I still feel sick after drinking that stuff! Question (I should know this!) oes anyone know what fasting BGL should be? They did a test strip as well as taking blood and from what I could see (was distracted by DS) it was 6.0mmol I'm thinking that would be borderline for fasting levels but I'm not sure...
From what dh has told me, fasting levels (this is before eating and drinking anything in the morning when you wake up) should be between 3.5 and 5.5.
i think 5.5 to 7 is borderline.
I just melted from cuteness :heartbeat: I gave reading "Hello Baby" with Amelia another shot, this time just pointing at the pictures and talking about what's going on in them; and on the page where it's just the baby right after it's born, she leaned over and kissed the picture :D Then on the rest of the pages she found the baby and said "aww! Izza babby!" :lol:
We love Hello Baby. :) It's currently MIA at our house - got to find it back!
Congrats on the baby girl on the way Jenn! Girls are wonderful. :)
Saw the midwife today - all is well. She said "baby is sitting low!" and I was like "I KNOW!" Measuring 33cm now at 35 weeks, but I'm sure he'll move up and down a bit from here. He's healthy and active from what I can tell, and I'm feeling mostly good. Full term in TWO WEEKS! :o Lots to be thankful for!