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thread: Homebirth General Discussion #17

  1. #217
    Registered User

    Jan 2013
    208

    I know but these three little days make a difference in that if (God forbid) I do get to 42 weeks it's given me three extra days before they will want to induce. Because it's a hospital based homebirth program the midwife has to adhere to the rules etc so I think she did me a favour by going after those dates from the 8wk scan! She is very much a "when baby is ready it will come" type of person but has to stick to hospital policies and they say over 40weeks is over cooking!

  2. #218
    Registered User

    Jun 2009
    vic
    2,886

    They can't force you to be induced just so you know, but they can say no to birthing at home with the program. You have every right to opt for extra monitoring instead of being induced if you wish.

  3. #219
    Registered User

    Nov 2005
    Where the heart is
    4,360

    Ahh, I forgot it was the hospy program - get whatever time you can swing!

  4. #220
    Registered User
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    Oct 2009
    Lalor, VIC
    5,051

    Oh, I meant to ask the other day after PZ pointed something out to me... Are all three of my midwives (primary/secondary/backup) supposed to be at my birth plan meeting? At my last appointment, I met my backup midwife and she kept talking about it, and without thinking I made my next appointment with her. It didn't register until afterwards that I wasn't completely sure whether this is supposed to be the birth plan meeting (which I'd rather have with Kelly or Jan) or a regular appointment I suppose in the long run it won't matter - will it? -but wouldn't it be best to discuss these things with the two people that are meant to be there rather than the backup? I can't believe I didn't think about what I was doing, making that appointment...

  5. #221
    Registered User

    Oct 2007
    Middle Victoria
    8,924

    I would want my primary midwife there to discuss the birth plans. Is that normally done at a set gestation, or was it the backup who suggested you discuss it next meeting?

    neh, i made 2 physio appts and had to cancel both of them for different reasons. it's hard to remember everything you need to at the right time.

  6. #222
    Registered User

    Oct 2009
    Bonbeach, Melbourne
    7,177

    My midwives have the birth plan meeting at a set gestation, can't remember when, maybe 36 weeks? They prefer that everyone who will be attending the birth be there, so that everyone is on the same page. So I had my primary, secondary and their intern at the time. My doula was sick so she couldn't attend (I didn't end up calling her to the birth in the end anyway). It worked out well having all 3 there, because when I did go into labour, my secondary was on leave, so I knew at least that every one of my middies knew what was what.

  7. #223
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    Oct 2009
    Lalor, VIC
    5,051

    I might call on Wednesday (going to assume the office will be closed tomorrow for Cup day) and see if they've got it in as a regular appointment or not. If it's supposed to be my birth plan meeting I'll see what I can do about changing it. I'll either cancel or reschedule it with Kelly at least - while I do like the backup (Kris), I want Kelly there to talk to about everything.

  8. #224
    Registered User

    Jan 2013
    208

    Next time I'm pregnant I will give everyone a fake EDD that's two weeks ahead of the real one. And if I don't, I will stab myself in the eye with a ball point pen. You are all witness to my oath.

  9. #225
    Registered User

    Nov 2005
    Where the heart is
    4,360

    I tell people roughly what time in a month so that no-one's hassling me! This time round it's late March/early April, for example
    And you don't tell anyone you're in labour, apart from the middies - just go offline until it's time to announce, and it's just that lovely time for you and your little fam

  10. #226
    Registered User

    Mar 2009
    Sunshine Coast
    2,075

    Dotface I generally tell people a guess month. Cos you jut never know when your baby will be born. My baby is due 5may next year, ironically on international midwives day. But I will tell people that I am due towards the end of May. I also tend to fade away from fb towards the end, and I cease to answer phone calls if I don't want to discuss "when I am gonna have the baby". I went to 42+2 with my first and was thoroughly over the well meaning but totally annoying people who asked me "have you had the baby yet". I used to answer, that it wasn't gonna be a state secret when we had the baby. The worst part was having dh on leave from 40 weeks and his mum came across from the uk when I was 37 weeks. Bless her she was lovely and meant to be helpful, but she had to go back after 8 weeks and I felt the weight of the tension of having her waiting for me. Now I don't let my hubby book leave till I am due to be 41 weeks. I figure by then I will be tired and can use the hand and he won't be watching the clock and getting impatient with me either.

    Anyway, hugs lovely, cos I totally get where you are at right now. This baby will come when it is ready.

  11. #227
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    Oct 2009
    Lalor, VIC
    5,051

    Yep, I'm just telling most people December. Really, it's true - I hit 37w ("early term") on the 28th of November, and 42w ("post-term") on the 2nd of January, so I'm technically due to have bub anytime in December

  12. #228
    Registered User

    Mar 2008
    North Northcote
    8,065

    my birth plan meetings have had everyone who will attend the birth there. we had ours at 36 weeks officially. but as i went into preterm labour at 34 weeks, we had long discussions between us all in person and over the phone for the JIC hossy transfer. thankfully though i had already had a birth with my birth team so we were all pretty much on the same page...just a refresher really

    Dotface: you crack me up! i just love that you are already thinking ahead to your next baby! sending timely birthing vibes to you xx

  13. #229
    Registered User

    Jan 2013
    208

    Thanks guys *hugs* I wish I'd thought of that earlier re: the whole giving people a rough idea of where I'm at rather than the edd. I know they're excited and mean well but OH MY GOD IT'S GRATING to no end...plus I am more excited than anyone, ya know being the one who has been through all the nausea, back aches, sleepless nights, heart burn, pelvic pain etc etc just to bring this bub earth side but you don't see me asking myself WHERE'S THE BABY, for crying out loud!

    And yeah I was planning on telling a few people like SIL and a couple of close friends when I go into labour but stuff that, man! Only dh and whoever else will be at the birth will know. The pressure of being asked "where's the baby?" is hard enough dealing with now let alone when I'm trying to get through contractions etc. Hmph! Feels good to rant here among people who get it!

  14. #230
    Registered User

    Mar 2009
    Sunshine Coast
    2,075

    Thanks guys *hugs* I wish I'd thought of that earlier re: the whole giving people a rough idea of where I'm at rather than the edd. I know they're excited and mean well but OH MY GOD IT'S GRATING to no end...plus I am more excited than anyone, ya know being the one who has been through all the nausea, back aches, sleepless nights, heart burn, pelvic pain etc etc just to bring this bub earth side but you don't see me asking myself WHERE'S THE BABY, for crying out loud!

    And yeah I was planning on telling a few people like SIL and a couple of close friends when I go into labour but stuff that, man! Only dh and whoever else will be at the birth will know. The pressure of being asked "where's the baby?" is hard enough dealing with now let alone when I'm trying to get through contractions etc. Hmph! Feels good to rant here among people who get it!
    Oh yes DF! Can you imagine the phone calls that start to come to yours an DH's phones after labour has been going for 8+ hrs..... Then again at 12 hrs. I saw a good picture quote that said, "I'm sorry your struggling with waiting for me to have this baby..... How would you like me to help you feel better about that??" :roflmao: !!

    That's why you just fall off the planet at the end. Don't bother talking to people. Cos for all they are well meaning it drives you f&@king bonkers!! Lol!!

  15. #231
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    Oct 2009
    Lalor, VIC
    5,051

    I wouldn't even have told my dad that I was being induced with DD, but he did sort of have to know why Mum would be missing for a while This time no-one will know I'm in labour except those who will be there. I'm not even letting you ladies know

  16. #232
    2014 BellyBelly RAK Recipient.

    Mar 2010
    1,200

    Oh dotface I hear ya!!! I went 15 days past the dates I had told everyone the first time.The second time despite the past I accidently told the date again... grrr I went 11 days past... the third and fourth times I told them 3 weeks past my 'due' date and guess what?? I went a week earlier then 'due' date that I was keeping secret, it was a huge thrill not to have anyone hounding me they all though I had a month to go!!

    Anyway, thinking of you, this last part is such an initiation into motherhood xx

    Send all your friends here to see if baby is here yet Have you had that baby yet?

  17. #233
    Registered User

    Mar 2009
    Sunshine Coast
    2,075

    Tenibear when I called my dad to tell him that we ha had our hbac baby, he said to my hubby "but I didn't even know that you had gone to the hospital". We replied that it was because we hadn't gone and we birthed at home. I hadn't told him even that much cos basically nobody but us needed to know. And it was a good thing to, cos he bloody well posted to fb that we had a baby girl before I got a chance to!! Lol. Not mad at him, he was excited, but exasperated! Next time I will be very specific not to post on fb when we tell him.

  18. #234
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    Oct 2009
    Lalor, VIC
    5,051

    Oh yes, the amount of times I've fobbed people off or been very selective with my words when asked "what hospital are you going to?"... Only a very select few outside of my birth team know about my homebirthing plans. I wish I could shout it from the mountaintops, but I don't want to deal with the fear-mongering and incorrect assumptions. It was hard enough getting it across to one of my cousins why I hired a private midwife, never mind explaining that I'll be giving birth in my lounge room!

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