Homebirth General Discussion #18

[Jennifer13]

I love a day labour! DD2s was middle of the day and it was magic! i was hoping (but no luck!) to repeat that again with DD3. i find i am totally shagged after a night birth.

DD1 informed me the other day when she had a baby she wanted it to be just like DD3's birth - middle of the day, quick and not noisy. I told her it might not be that way for her first birth. But I totally love that she sees birth that way. Her iPad screensaver has been a photo of DD3 bfing. This is a very different household to the one I grew up in!

[meow]

LOVED my DS2s day birth too! Woke up regular time then had a show and early labour started. Progressed to labour by midday and he was born by 4pm. Had dinner and went back to sleep at a regular time. LOVE not losing sleep

It's weird how TV portrays women birthing on their backs. Like a freebirthing woman in a manger wouldn't be following her body's natural instincts to be more upright/forward facing.

[Arcadia]

Feeling crampy and uncomfortable today. I had a bad night with reflux which I've never had, alternating with terrible back and pelvic pain. What the hell is my baby doing in there?

I don't know what to make of any of this. It feels like a warm up, but with DS it was a week of warm up and it did my head in. I don't think I could take that again.

I am also feeling unprepared. I haven't even had the birth plan meeting yet.

Urgh. Suddenly I don't want to labour!

[Cricket]

Feeling crampy and uncomfortable today. I had a bad night with reflux which I've never had, alternating with terrible back and pelvic pain. What the hell is my baby doing in there?

I don't know what to make of any of this. It feels like a warm up, but with DS it was a week of warm up and it did my head in. I don't think I could take that again.

I am also feeling unprepared. I haven't even had the birth plan meeting yet.

Urgh. Suddenly I don't want to labour!

The whole back and forth of "I want to have this baby!" vs. "I don't want to do labour again!" can be kind of miserable at the end. I remember it pretty well. I've experienced it more and more with my later babies, and it stinks. My only advice is to handle it kind of like you handle labour - just take one step at a time. If you're feeling crampy and exhausted and emotional, do your best to find a time to rest, take a bath or shower, a nap, put on a movie for the kids and put your feet up for a bit - whatever it takes. Just deal with today, right now. Don't let your mind wander to how long it might last or how much of it you might have to take. Just like in labour, it will make things worse.
Your body is definitely getting ready to have this baby, and even though it might feel like you'll never be done with this pregnancy, before you know it, you'll be looking at it from the other side, nursing your baby, and thinking "Wow, that actually went really fast, can't believe it's done already!"
For the back/pelvic pain, maybe some pelvic rocking/cat stretches might help? On your hands and knees, take a deep breath and pull your belly and back up, hold, and then slowly release back to a neutral spine. Repeat. You can do 20 repetitions or so at various times throughout the day. It should help stretch the sore muscles and strengthen them, and help get baby in a good position.
All the best in these last few weeks!

About labour positions - I have chosen to be semi-reclining in the bath for all my home births. (For DS1, when I had to move because he was stuck, I ended up delivering on my back in bed with my knees cranked up to my ears.) I've tried the hands and knees thing also and found it impossible for me. Squatting also is not an option for me - I just don't like it at all. But I think the idea is that you should be free to assume the position that works for you, and that usually that's the position that is best for you.

[meow]

Pretty sure I just met my MW this morning. Super exciting and I really like her. Only thing is she has only been a trained MW for 3 years . She has worked in birth prior to that as a doula and had three HBs of her own so she does have more experience and she also has good training such as breech training and being MW at two breech home births so I feel like her skills are up to scratch. I guess I just had a niggle of doubt over her not being a super experienced MW and I wondered what you all think of experience? How do you feel about using a recently qualified MW?

[Sterla]

I would feel the same I imagine. My midwife with DD (who I am using again this time) has something like 30+ years experience - I feel very safe in her hands. She has been training a lot of midwives in the past few years, so there are a lot of less experienced IM available in my area now too.

Could you try and make sure your secondary midwife is more experienced perhaps?

[HotI]

It would depend on what she had done in her 3 years. I chose my student mw due to her research into breastfeeding and having had homebirths. She was absolutely awesome at the birth, and my midwife only arrived just before baby. However, the experience of my midwife was evident when i had some issues post birth. The student was only starting 2nd year at that time, so i am sure she would have learnt much in that time. I know my birth helped expand her knowledge.

If she had been working for 3 years and quite active then i would be more comfortable than if she had been more quiet.