Homebirth General Discussion #2

[~kaos~]

Interesting about the "types of women" thing from the Face of Birth. I would think of myself as #3. Some may think of me as a little bit #2 (cause I cloth nappy, sleep with my babies, have a little bit of an environmental concious etc) but I don't see myself this way, only when compared to the sheep like mentality of the mainstream. Certainly not #1 for me - my first birth was my not ecstatic, I was on a high for months, and it was a birth centre birth. But the BC started my education in birth and ultimately led me to homebirthing.

That being said, I think the reason a lot of people don't choose homebirth is a cultural issue. We seem so ingrained to seek out medical attention when fall pregnant because we don't know that there are other options. I did. I was lucky that I didn't have private health insurance at the time and that my GP suggested the BC.

And I know what you mean about being over people saying "I hope it all goes well". I got that so much for my last homebirth, like it was risky or something. A really memorable and warm fuzzy moment when I was talking to a older dutch woman (who'd had homebirths herself) said to me "I hope you have a lovely birth". I don't know if she realised how much that stood out to me. So small, but made such an impact!

[meow]

Some may think of me as a little bit #2 (cause I cloth nappy, sleep with my babies, have a little bit of an environmental concious etc)

Actually that is me too! I should admit to my hippy side I guess. I suppose to me that is just an extension of #3 but you are right- for others we probably do seem a bit alternative.

I'm the only Mum who will be homebirthing from my mother's group but I joined a Natural Parenting playgroup and a few Mums in our group have homebirthed and I'm planning a homebirth with another couple of pregnant Mums now too. So glad to have found my playgroup because I love my pregnancy and birth chats there on a Thursday morning. I've talked about my trauma from stitches, my planned waterbirth, which midwife I've chosen etc etc all from questions and interested, knowledgeable women

[Cricket]

Hmmm..... I wonder if being Dutch has something to do with why I've never gotten much flak over my homebirths? The only comment I ever got really was "what about the mess!?" The Dutch are also known for being clean - LOL. There are a few other mums in my church who have homebirthed or are considering it.
About the types of women thing - I guess I'd be a 3. I had good experiences at the hospital, and I'm not a hippy. Although, I do babywear, and co-sleep for the first 6 weeks or so. But that's laziness, not hippy-ness. We tried cloth diapering, but it just didn't work out for us. So I don't think I make the hippy certification.

[Cassius2]

hmm as for the categories i am definitely 1, which then lead immediately to 3 LOL! like marcellus mentioned, i was one of those people that automatically equated birth with hospital and didnt really question it outside of that. in fact i just assumed that HB was illegal (i had a friend who wanted to HB in qld and she faced alot of flak and because i wasnt in the 'business' of babies or birth i just assumed that it was because it was underground and not allowed....and of course didnt question LOL!).

i am sure that ppl can have an amazing birth in BCs or hospitals, but to me, it's no longer worth the risk if you don't IYKWIM. i would much rather have a higher garuantee that you get with an IM and HB combo ITMS. and this combined with the healing being provided from the calmbirth classes i am doing i am sure that i am on a better track than last time. NO DOUBT!

[*Infinity*]

Suga those categories are interesting, I'm a bit of 1 and mostly 3 I think. I didn't have a horrific experience in hospital, just a disappointing one - DS was unexpectedly breech when I got into the Birth Centre in labour - and lets face it, hospitals really aren't the place to get support for a vaginal breech birth these days - so we had a c-section. It wasn't traumatic, it was just a disappointing turn of events. I wish I'd planned to birth at home the first time around LOL! But I feel like I fit more into the #3 category. I know my chances of achieving a VBAC are optimised if I plan to birth at home with an IM - simple as that. I know that continuity of care with a midwife is the gold standard - and employing an IM is the only way I'll get that after having a previous c-section - again, really simple choice. Its like DP reflected back to me yesterday when we were talking about homebirth - we're not doing this to make a point, or because we feel the need to stick to a set of ideals or because we're hippies that don't conform - its because we want to achieve the safest, more secure environment to welcome our baby into and everything that comes along with that.

We had our first antenatal appointment with our IM - on a public holiday LOL! Loved it. I had a few days a week or so ago where I got the jitters after a few things came up, but we soon worked through that. Its so funny, because 6 mnths ago I never would have been able to say that DP would even look at the option of homebirth, let alone be an advocate for it. But here we are, me getting cold feet, and him being the voice of reason & all things rational, helping me be clear about why I want this! Too funny. I guess its all part of the process. But now we're all set and on the way! Which is so exciting. We're also still considering hiring a doula too - just for additional support.

We talked a little bit about what my chances are of having another breech baby at term - and apparently my chances are slightly elevated, but nothing outrageous. I'm at peace with that though and if this little one decides he/she wants to enter the world bum or feet first, then I'm all for that. Our IM is experienced with breech and happy to support us which is one of the reasons we chose her. I have confidence in my body and trust that my baby will choose its entry the world just as its meant to be. I can't tell you how nice it is to feel comfortable with that and just trust.

DP and I have decided that we'll only be sharing our plans to birth at home with a few select people, my sister and a couple that are our closest friends - mainly as they'll be the support people for DS on the day and we'll need their help and support. No other people will know, and we're not telling any family either. I know some people would probably accuse us of hiding our plans or covering things up - but we have two very nervous & anxious mothers in our lives who we don't need pestering us when they won't bother to actually take the time to listen to our reasons and do their own research. I just don't need that kind of energy around me.

So its lovely to be in here sharing this journey with all of you!

[~Stoked~]

How exciting Infinity!

Suga: I'd be a number 3 too

Cricket: I think the "mess" was the main reason DH was a bit reluctant before our HB!! The first comment he made after the birth (to his mates and anyone who'd listen) was how he was expecting the pool to look like a shark attack had occured but there wasn't even one drop of blood! He couldn't believe it!! haha!

I got accepted into the CMP yesterday! Well, i still have to have my assesment appointment (on the 28th) but i'll be fine!

I had to go see the Dr yesterday to get a referral for the 1st trimester screening, and i hate to say it but when i left i felt a bit down in the dumps and realised later on that she had made me doubt my choice of having a HB. I had a few problems AFTER the birth
1. I had a PPH and nearly had to be transferred
2. I had retained placenta, still bleeding after 3 months so had a D&C and retained products were confirmed. (baby was 12 days over, placenta was unhealthy looking and got stuck on the way out so midwife was not 100% it all came away but as i had no other signs of retained products it was assumed all was well)
3. My baby broke his collarbone at birth. This was only picked up at the 6 week check as he had FULL use of his arm and the only inkling that something was amiss was that during the first 3 weeks he was quite unsettled and would not feed as well on the left side (right clavicle fracture). It was only picked up as i noticed he sometimes appeared 'crooked' so the MCHN checked him out and found a lump on his collarbone (where the bone had re-formed).
4. I declined the Vit K for my bub (I am ashamed of this decision as i now feel i did not do enough research into this and my babe had problems with bruising at 3.5months, I feel terribly guilty and the Dr gave me a lecture on why it is ALWAYS given to bubs born in the 'normal', ie- hospital, system. So now i feel even more guilty). I had to put my baby through the most AWFUL experience of having a blood test all because i didn't do my research and i feel dreadful. I had to have 4 courses of antibiotics within 3 months of the birth and feel that this may have contributed to 'killing off' the Vit K in his system, although the pediatrician said his clotting factors were all fine so i don't know what to think. I was pretty much fobbed off my the pediatrician and did not even get a follow up appointment, his receptionist just called me with the results!

So i am feeling a little down in the dumps and while i know that all of these things could have happened (and quite often do!!) in the hospital system, i feel as though my doctor believes that none of these things would have happened if i hadn't had a homebirth! I feel terribly guilty right now and cannot wait to have a big long discussion (and probably a big cry too!!) with my midwife!

Sorry, i didnt mean to make this a 'poor me' post but i guess i really needed to get that out and this would probably be the best place to do so.....
xx

[onthefly]

That sounds great Infinity - and wonderful that your DH has your back.

Stoked. I don't see how any of those things would have differed if you had been at hospital adn realistically, the response from your midwife at home was probably exactly the same as you would have gotten anyway. I'm sure talking through it with your wonderful midwife will put your mind at ease.

I have my booking visit on Monday. yay.

[meow]

I'm so excited to hear about your home birth plans Infinity! You sound like you've absolutely made the right choice! I'm sorry you feel you need to keep it a secret from those around you. It's going to be an awesome experience!!!

Stoked I'm so sorry you're feeling that way. I think a good chat to your midwife will help. I'll offer my thoughts too...

1. I had a PPH and nearly had to be transferred

Well, that could happen again and if so you can still transfer again. No biggie.

2. I had retained placenta, still bleeding after 3 months so had a D&C and retained products were confirmed. (baby was 12 days over, placenta was unhealthy looking and got stuck on the way out so midwife was not 100% it all came away but as i had no other signs of retained products it was assumed all was well)

Okay, so maybe in hospital they would have sent you off for the D&C straight after labour "in case". I think I prefer the sound of doing it later "as needed" as you did so it sounds like a good outcome to me.

3. My baby broke his collarbone at birth. This was only picked up at the 6 week check as he had FULL use of his arm and the only inkling that something was amiss was that during the first 3 weeks he was quite unsettled and would not feed as well on the left side (right clavicle fracture). It was only picked up as i noticed he sometimes appeared 'crooked' so the MCHN checked him out and found a lump on his collarbone (where the bone had re-formed).

This absolutely could have happened in a hospital too. If your baby was moving well why would a broken bone be suspected. This is why we keep checking them afterwards- same for hospital or home birth. If you wanted to be pro-active to ease your mind next time you could visit a chiro for an after-birth checkup and your baby looked over. Great for getting them into alignment even without a break.

4. I declined the Vit K for my bub (I am ashamed of this decision as i now feel i did not do enough research into this and my babe had problems with bruising at 3.5months, I feel terribly guilty and the Dr gave me a lecture on why it is ALWAYS given to bubs born in the 'normal', ie- hospital, system. So now i feel even more guilty). I had to put my baby through the most AWFUL experience of having a blood test all because i didn't do my research and i feel dreadful. I had to have 4 courses of antibiotics within 3 months of the birth and feel that this may have contributed to 'killing off' the Vit K in his system, although the pediatrician said his clotting factors were all fine so i don't know what to think. I was pretty much fobbed off my the pediatrician and did not even get a follow up appointment, his receptionist just called me with the results!

I think declining the vit k as "routine" is a perfectly acceptable option and one many people choose in hospital too. It is not "always" given. You should feel proud that again, on an "as needed" basis you followed up medical care and everything was fine. You are an observant, caring and informed mother- give yourself a pat on the back!!