Tegam that's funny but so common I've found, it's deffinately a quick way to end conversations .
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Tegam that's funny but so common I've found, it's deffinately a quick way to end conversations .
Isn't it amazing what a few government policies do the the perception of things! In NZ there is much more public acceptance to HB. The worst I ever got was the comment of "I couldn't do that myself, what if something went wrong" which wasn't really anything negative about my choice. Perhaps it would be a different attitude in the cities though - where we were it was somewhere around 20-30% HB, then another 20-30% at the birth center (actually no more resources than a home birth lol) and then the rest went out of town to a hospital. I was the first in the area to get a birth pool sent up, I know of about 4 ladies that used it after me and eventually they had to get a second one up because the home water births were getting so common! I guess it helps that it is free here - we actually have a choice without any financial barriers.
Artechim: I can't imagine how much it would change if it were free. sadly i think that the cost rules so many people out so early on that they don't even have time to research why it could possibly be worth it. Last night another one of the nurses said "but its so expensive you may as well have an OB" I said " But with an ob you get the birth they choose not the birth you deserve" She actually said "Good point". I was glad that i was brave enough to bring it up as the other pregnant nurse ended up getting my midwifes details as she is 34 weeks and the hospital is talking about an induction at 39 weeks just because she is GD! Not fair. Sometimes its worth the good fight and sometimes its better to internalise our choices :)
I loved telling people that 'baby will be born at home' :lol: I think also that i dont 'look' hippy or whatnot would really rattle people lol. I have also always been quite confident in the choice and have always seen it as a valid option (even when i felt that it wasnt for me prior to DD1s birth). so when i tell people I tell it in the same tone etc that one would say which hospital they are booked into. it was interesting as because i never treated as something different it or anything, people would be shocked but then forced to accept it as normal as well haha. love it.
phy: that's a bummer that your DH doesnt see it as worth it. financing a HB can be really tough. but i suppose you need to ask yourselves if that 5K fee includes her total support come what may. For me, that 5K will be ESPECIALLY worth it if the need for transfer arose. TBH i have NO IDEA how i would of coped being at the RWH without their support and advice...
Artechim I had no idea homebirths were free in NZ! I have been considering convincing dh to go to another state for my next birth because I hated seeing people those first couple of weeks, maybe we could go NZ instead lol *only in my wildest dreams*
Same as Bella, I didn't tell anyone last time, just said the hospital I was booked into for a back up but this time, I'm telling everyone. And most people assume we are home birthing as well. I've only had one 'you're brave' comment to which I replied 'no you're brave' as she is also pregnant and having an elective c/section. The conversation ended pretty quickly.
I tell anyone that asks that we're having a home birth. In a pretty low-key matter-of-fact way. If anyone asks what hospital what we're going to I just say we're having a home birth. I have had the "you're so brave" comment a lot. Now I usually reply "No, going to hospital is brave" and the conversation generally ends pretty fast :think:
So you are not all doing it for the whale music and candles?
DP now walks around telling ppl how lucky we were to HB, or else DD3 would have been in the front yard or by the side of the road! At least we were prepared, aware and help was on it's way.
Not brave, just well-informed. ;)
We can all be weird together.
I feel comfortable with weird :) who'd me mainstream anyway!
:hug: Tegam. So sorry you had to go though that. It can be so hard because we really do need someone to be our 'voice' for these vulnerable times. Someone that gets 100% what we do and don't want so can speak for us in these times and that also don't step over this line themselves. There is contacts for people that do birth debriefs if you are interested at any point. Or I'm always here, but I'm not sure I can provide the useful replies. Xxoo I really hope this birth is a healing birth for you. Of course it can't take away what happened though.:
Water birth book recommendations please?
Sterla: i like kitzingers book pregnancy and childbirth as she has cool pics of different positions that you can consider in the pool. but mostly i stuck to YouTube for all my waterbirth inspiration :lol:
Can I join In here :-)
After two private hospital births we are having a home birth in September .
I'm so so excited i Have booked in with my midwives and it already feels so so different to last time!
That's four of us from the bellybuddies group woohoo what a month :)
E_p is also due in September and a homebirthing mumma, that makes 5 :)
I ended up going to hospital last night to check on bubs, I had very decreased movements for about 20hrs and was starting to worry. Everything is fine, bubs has not stopped moving today (of course). It really reminded me how much I don't want to birth in a hospital, so unwelcoming and cold. The midwives were lovely (I always get defensive at hospitals) but I'm glad I got a reminder why I choose homebirth.
Tegam, we're multiplying!! :)
Lady-bug, glad everything's ok xx
Welcome, kellbell!
I didn't really read any water birth books, Sterla. Mostly videos on YouTube too. Although there was one I read, forget the name, she talked about swimming with dolphins and how that inspired her to look into water birth.
:babyneutral:Babies Arrived :baby:
-2012-
Jennifer13- Baby GIRL born at home 4th January 2012
Bella29- Baby GIRL born at home 10th January 2012
HotI - Baby BOY born at home 21st January 2012
*Ash*- Baby BOY born at home 14th February 2012
loulabelle - Baby BOY born at home 24th February 2012
Cricket - Baby GIRL born at home 15th May 2012
chocorama - May 2012
...Em - Baby BOY born at home 7th June 2012
BellyBelly - Baby GIRL born 11th August 2012
Tanya - Baby BOY born at home 16th August 2012
phynna - Baby GIRL born at home 8th September 2012
lady_neon - Baby BOY born 27th September 2012
Ambersky - Baby BOY born at home 3rd October 2012
Cassius - Baby GIRL born at home 4th November 2012
Ice cream - September 2012
mirriumu - November 2012
Pumpkinzulu - Baby GIRL born at home 12th December 2012
- 2013 -
Sara - Baby BOY born 18th January 2013
turtlejane - Baby GIRL born at home 31st January 2013
Bellany - Baby BOYS born 14th March 2013
Ree*Ree - Baby BOY born 18th March 2013
Aimz - Baby BOY born at home 21st March 2013
Beatrix - Baby GIRL born at home 7th April 2013
Rubyshoes - Baby BOY born at home April 2013
Dollyroux - Baby BOY and GIRL born 29th April 2013
HomeStyleMumma - Baby GIRL born 8th May 2013
ladybirdflies - Baby GIRL born at home 23rd May 2013
Cricket - Baby BOY born at home 26th August 2013
Sepata - Baby BOY born at home 31st August 2013
WilliamsMummy -Baby BOY born at home 17th September 2013
Loulabelle - Baby BOY born at home 17th September 2013
Sunnylove - Baby GIRL born at home 2nd November 2013
DotFace - Baby BOY born at home 9th November 2013
Eenee - Baby BOY born at home 22nd November 2013
TeniBear - Baby GIRL born at home 21st December 2013
*The_Mrs.* - Baby GIRL born at home 31st December 2013
-2014-
Jennifer13 - Baby GIRL born at home 1st January 2014
Arcadia - Baby BOY born at home 30th January 2014
Special - Baby BOY born at home 6th February 2014
HotI - Baby GIRL born at home 23rd February 2014
Smoke Jaguar - Baby GIRL born at home 18th March 2014
Bella29 - Baby BOY born at home 13th May 2014
Ozstar - Baby GIRL born at home 20th May 2014
:bellyrubs: Babies On Their Way :homebirth:
Sterla -August
Meow - August
e_p - September
ladybug - September
Tegam - September
phyrephly - September
kellbell - September
Ha ha, go team September!
good christmas / new years?:
Sorry, been MIA! Will revisit when I can, but happy to see our May babies earthside xxx
Welcome Kellbells!!
Wowsers! September is AWESOME!
Sept is the opposite of June/July, clearly. Only one HBed bubba in three years in those months!
Well it's around September when you conceive a June baby, so everyone's still in their winter bodies and not feeling very sexy :p
This baby was a result of a very happy birthday to me ;) my birthday is just before christmas.
Look out in the next Homebirth Access Sydney mag - Charlotte's story is in there.
Miss A was a combination of a wedding present and DH's birthday present :p We were on a holiday paid for by gift vouchers we got for our wedding, and we chose to go up to see his mum for his birthday. First day there was when she was conceived :rofl::
September is a great time to have babies :)
Hehe the June baby that was me. He is 2 on Sat!
My little man was a planned H/B last June but I never dipped my toe in here (perhaps a gut feeling). He ended a hospy birth anyway so I guess doesn't really count in those stats :):
Gosh and they are close! DS is 1 tomorrow (Friday!):
Haha! My birthday is early December and this baby was conceived around then :) Big chance this could be a September baby too because my EDD is at the end of August.:
I did ever remember DTD to even think pregnancy was a possibility when I missed my period for this baby LOL. But DH was home at xmas until the 30th december….. Or its a Devine child :)
HotI your inbox is full….
:D My birthday too 4 days before Xmas and a big Xmas /new years with lots of alcohol hellllooooooo September baby :D
I'm sure he/she will love hearing that as they grow up hehe
Well, my MW wasn't into the disconnect and has just dumped me. By email! I know that means I'm better off but I'm stressed about establishing care so late in pregnancy with a new MW :( I know many women have gone through similar and I'm sure it all works out but right now I'm feeling sad and disappointed that this pregnancy has been so ****ty so much of the time.
Oh meow, that is so crap! I am sorry you are going through this, all at the end of pregnancy :(
FWIW I hired my MW just before my third trimester for DS's birth and despite having to transfer, she was and is amazing. I am sure you will find a MW to support you :) x
Oh no meow, that really sucks! It's obviously for the best though, sounds like she wasn't the kind of support you would have wanted for your birth anyway. Do you have some other midwives in mind for your care? Good luck finding someone - I hope you find the right midwife for you xx
Thanks xx In my heart I know she has made the right choice for me given that I didn't seem to be making it. But it still hurts to be dumped! And it's an odd experience for me to start with a midwife so late in the pregnancy, but it will work out for the best.
From my previous feeler emails I know there are two possible MWs that may work out for me and I have heard back from one of them so far and have an appointment lined up for next week. At least I'm not so busy with so much other stuff in my life now and I can focus on just this and have the time to meet them both and make the right choice.
Hi girls! Meow, I'm sorry to hear your Mw dumped you. That mustn't have felt nice. Glad that you now are looking for someone who will make you feel more comfortable and supported.
Our first baby was a honeymoon baby, the second baby was a rainbow after a m/c between one and two and this one was conceived in the uk in dh's childhood bed whilst we were staying with his folks on holidays :).
Afm- we are doing well. Dh has been off for four weeks. The little man turns four weeks old this coming Tuesday. It always goes so quick!! He has been having some really disturbed times. I can tell he is in real pain. We spend a fair amount of time in the evening trying to settle him. Lots of wind. I think my let down is pretty intense at times... But even when I express a boob, I find that I still let down fairly strong and he struggles to gulp it down. He also can go several days without doing a poo and so I think he gets upset when that happens. So I have given up dairy atm, and I am also giving up coffee :( I am also gonna try a fairly bland diet. I am also gonna try and get him into an osteo or chiro. Something is upsetting him. Last night we were in bed asleep together. I woke up cos the dogs were barking and he started screaming out of nowhere is so much pain it near broke my heart. I don't know what is wrong, but I would do anything to help. Something is upsetting his tummy, I just am not sure what. He has had a better day today, just a couple of unsettled periods, as I said I haven't had dairy for four days and no coffee today so maybe it is that? But he did a big poo yesterday too, so maybe he is just more comfortable with that. We are also working on thrush infections too, so it could be anything. I have to say that I am not looking forward to dh going back to work.... I suspect the toddler is gonna spend a fair time watching telli :(. Oh well...