Homebirth General Discussion #22

[HotI]

Please let me know if I have missed anybody or anything needs fixing.

ta

[Kazzo]

Please let me know if I have missed anybody or anything needs fixing.

ta

I am due end of May

Thanks for the answer Lady bug

Ladybirdflies. I know how busy you are hun Thankyou.

DH is home now. I brought up having a homebirth. He straight away said no and money was not the reason. He said what if something goes wrong, an ambulance would take over 20min and that he would not know what to do. He thought a home birth was all by yourself When I explained that it was with 2 midwives he relaxed straight away.

I told him why I wanted to have a HB and I think he has come around. I am going to organise meeting 2 MW that I like just from communications so far.

So far so good. We started telling people yesterday. I hate that the first thing they say is 'Again' Makes me want to keep it to myself longer

[Freya]

Argh I had a big post typed out and lost it.

Kazzo; welcome to the start of insensitive big family comments

Well Dh met my midwife last week when I went for an appt and he got along really well with her and feels better about the whole shift in care provider now! She answered a few of his concerns ie what happens in an emergency and he realises now that she is well equipped to handle decision making if complications arise. Which Im sure they wont. He did tell her he was not at all going to deliver this baby so if I call and labour is going fast she better speed all the way to our house

[ladybirdflies]

I am due end of May

Thanks for the answer Lady bug

Ladybirdflies. I know how busy you are hun Thankyou.

DH is home now. I brought up having a homebirth. He straight away said no and money was not the reason. He said what if something goes wrong, an ambulance would take over 20min and that he would not know what to do. He thought a home birth was all by yourself When I explained that it was with 2 midwives he relaxed straight away.

I told him why I wanted to have a HB and I think he has come around. I am going to organise meeting 2 MW that I like just from communications so far.

So far so good. We started telling people yesterday. I hate that the first thing they say is 'Again' Makes me want to keep it to myself longer

I am thrilled that DH totally heard where you are in this decision, how wonderful, what a great start to a HB together!!!
I am sorry to hear that people have such insensitive responses, unfortunately it happens more and more with each baby... People couldn't believe we actually tried to have a fourth not just a whoopsie!! I know what you mean about keeping that secret a bit longer, it's like something sacred is lost when people dribble unconscious words on this gift.. luckily BB mama's are supportive and excited with you!!



Freya... I am so excited that your hubby is supportive about your provider change!! THese midwives have an incredible amount of experience and can be so clued into the subtle changes they can predict needing extra help, it's fascinating!!! I have four girls, and the gender talk did my head in by her due date, even now people can't believe I have four girls... How is everyone going re trying to guess if you are having a girl or a boy? I found the comments about her gender one of the hardest parts!!

[Freya]

We know its another boy so yeah, its been utterly ridiculous the comments we get. Im really struggling to connect with bub and just enjoy this pregnancy as it is so having people be rude about it sucks. We've had a rough year so that doesnt help either. If we could of had a girl we would have, all of us were hoping for one but we dont control what we get. I think Im struggling the most with the sense of letting people down, the kids were pretty upset that it wasn't a sister

[ladybirdflies]

We know its another boy so yeah, its been utterly ridiculous the comments we get. Im really struggling to connect with bub and just enjoy this pregnancy as it is so having people be rude about it sucks. We've had a rough year so that doesnt help either. If we could of had a girl we would have, all of us were hoping for one but we dont control what we get. I think Im struggling the most with the sense of letting people down, the kids were pretty upset that it wasn't a sister

I really get what you mean Freya, I would struggle with what others said if we went for a fifth child, it's not just friends but strangers in the street, one guy laughed at me, my older girls were so confused about people and their attitudes, my eldest asked what is wrong with having so many children of the same gender, she felt like they were saying there was something wrong with girls!! A friend recently had her fifth boy, she didn't find out his gender before birth but she did have a big process around it. She went to some 'healer' type people and got to really delve into her feelings about it and at the end of the weekend (she was at a birth workshop) she really surrendered to him being a boy, it was quite beautiful to she her grieve about it and of course she absolutely loves him to bits now... and he is wearing a bit of pink that she had been saving each time she had a baby!!!! I hope you feel supported to talk about your feelings, feel free to PM or voice it here! xx

[HotI]

Homebirth was less stress for my partner. Didn't have to worry about when to leave home, what if something happened on the way etc. No one telling him what he could or couldn't or should or shouldn't do. No need to be protector, bc the birth support people were ones we chose, people we were comfortable with. His jobs were more simple, and hands on - fill the birth pool etc and then chill with me until baby arrived.

[meow]

After we avoided transfer with our unexpected freebirth my husband was the one who couldn't stop gushing about how good it was that we got to stay home. It obviously was a huge relief to him too to be snuggled up at home in bed with all of us together and well

[Lady-bug]

I miss chatting about birthy stuff in here....

[Freya]

I had my first "what hospital are you birthing at?" question from a person at playgroup today (my first time attending). I had a moment of 'ugh here we go' then I said 'I have a private midwife and will be birthing at home'. She was pretty interested in asking questions like if the boys will be there and then we got to talking about water births. I felt a bit bad after ward that I automatically went into get-ready-to-defend mode but lets face it - negativity surrounding home birth is more common than open minds

Ive looked into getting the placenta encapsulated and will be booking that in soon. Ive been very up and down emotionally lately, its been a rough year, so Im hoping it will help keep things calm and steady after bub arrives.

Ive got a few more baby things organised (like laybying the carseat) but otherwise there really isnt a lot to do until Im hitting my due date. I am going to start a 'Positivity Wall' in my birth space, not entirely birth related but just positivity in general to try and keep my mood up and thoughts happy for the next 14 or so weeks.

Speaking of organising birth spaces; when do you start getting organised for the birth - from 37wks? earlier? leave it til the last minute? What exactly do I need to do that my midwife wont?

[turtledove]

Yes, birth space prep! I've been wanting to ask that question! What does "birth space" mean to you, how do you prepare, practical and aesthetical things, and what is your timeline?

I thought of starting a new thread for that question, as I am sure other ladies planning homebirths in the future will be interested too, rather than have the topic lost in a big thread like this

Freya, oh, I dread that question too. Especially after the initial reaction from my in-laws. It was only this past weekend that we told the uncle, and he lives over our back fence, so will possibly hear me if I get vocal in labour! He took it well enough, tho I think he would have liked to have been told earlier.

Artechim, there's a lot to love about NZ! I lived in there for 12 months, and would happily do so again!

Thanks ladies for your input on vit k. Very helpful

[turtledove]

Not much happening here!

I started another thread on the topic of birth space prep to answer my questions... And hopefully Freya's as well

Birth Space Preparation