Homebirth General Discussion #23

**Artechim** · February 22nd, 2015, 06:13 PM

EssTee, be out and proud. Just say "I am planning to home birth". Their reaction is their own problem and nothing to do with you. I didn't get any negative comments, only a few woman saying they couldn't do it themselves which is totally fine - it is up to every woman to decide how it is best for them to birth.

Has anyone heard from Eenee? She hasn't posted here for a while. Does anyone have her on FB to check up on her?

**Kazzo** · February 22nd, 2015, 06:28 PM

I have so far been told I am brave or crazy. Most people are more curious then negative. The only real negative comments were from my GP when I told her.

**Artechim** · February 22nd, 2015, 07:11 PM

OMG Kazzo, I didn't know you are going again! What on earth were you thinking?! Three birthdays in the same month is crazy! We call it birthday week and it is like a second christmas

A second christmas with a crap load of cake.

**turtledove** · February 22nd, 2015, 09:05 PM

Freya - I still think getting out the door at all with a newborn is an achievement, let alone on time! Hats? Drink bottles? It's not like you live in a hot climate or anything

Cricket - congratulations! That's very exciting. Do I read your ticker right... Is this number 8? Wow, well done. We were just talking about my awe of big families. Easier said than done, but try not to worry about the lack of ms, and just enjoy this special time. When is your first mw appt?

Homebirth is very common in the UK. Most of the midwives on the CMP are from the UK, as that is just what they do over there. Still, good on Kate for wanting one! I hope it is a beautiful experience for her.

EssTee - from memory, the sonographer didn't ask me about birth choices, and I had to have 5 ultrasounds with DS. If they do, it's just small talk, so you can be vague if you want. Is it the negativity about homebirth or VBAC that concerns you most, or both? If it is just homebirth, you can talk about how you've found a fantastic midwife, or that you've chosen a IM to increase your chance of VBAC. If it is negativity toward VBAC, I don't have too much experience there. Just focus on the positive, and remain confident!

AFM - we are doing great! Bubby boy is now 11 weeks old, and I'm in denial that he'll ever get older than 3 months. If I could make time stand still, it would be right now, he's just so delicious! I went through a foggy patch thinking "if I knew it would be this hard, would I have been so keen to volunteer?" But that had all lifted now. He had his tongue & lip tie released a couple of weeks ago. Feeding so much better now! I'm using a SNS to compensate my low milk supply. Pumping 3-4 hourly. A lot of work, but so worth it. Makes me feel so good when he refuses the bottle and looks for me!

How are all of the other homebirth babies going?

**Cricket** · February 23rd, 2015, 12:45 AM

Freya - we don't make any commitments for the morning around here.

Well done to get your crew out the door! It is tough! There's always a last minute feeding, or potty accident, or spill, or lost shoes, or something....

EssTee - I'm in Canada, not Aus, so things are a little different here. Home birth is not super common, but it is fully funded and regulated through our provincial health care. I have had some negative reactions when I've told people at the hospital that we're homebirthing, but generally, people have been very encouraging and supportive. I do book in at the hospital, to streamline things in case a transfer is necessary, but the booking people have always said "all the best, and we hope we don't see you back here!"

I think you should feel free to tell people that you're planning to have your baby at home, and that you've done the research and feel that it's a very safe and reasonable option for you and your baby. If they persist with negativity, then you might have to come up with a firm but polite way of saying "I'm not discussing this further."

I've heard that home birth is more common in the UK, but I'm thinking that the royal baby's birth will certainly be global news, and hopefully raise awareness about the safety of home birth in other countries.

Yes, this is baby #8 for us. DH and I think this will likely be our last, but we'll see how things go. Big families are not so common these days, but I do know of a few others in our area, and TBH most people have been very positive about our family (at least to our faces!). I haven't had any of the terribly rude comments that other people seem to get... It surprises me a little how people think we must be "super parents" or something - 100+ years ago people were having larger families than ours without running water, washing machines, grocery stores, or even the medical care that we have now! We have it easy.

I'm feeling a little iffy today.

With my last baby, I could barely stand up for about a month. Even sitting up was too much at times. I laid on the couch and was completely useless. It was awful. DH ran the house and did all the errands. He had to take time off work. When we discovered we were expecting again, the ms was my biggest worry, so I've been cleaning and preparing meals for the freezer like mad, but so far it hasn't been necessary. I'll see the midwife at the end of March - at almost 11 weeks.

Glad you and your little one are doing well Turtledove! It does go by so quickly!

**Kazzo** · February 23rd, 2015, 11:49 AM

OMG Kazzo, I didn't know you are going again! What on earth were you thinking?! Three birthdays in the same month is crazy! We call it birthday week and it is like a second christmas

A second christmas with a crap load of cake.

Ha, see the problem, just like with how DS came to be is DH and I talked about another baby. It seems that is all my body needs to hear and hey presto. I am pregnant. I am due at the end of the month so hopefully a week in between all three

Throw in my birthday at the end of April and mothers day and we can have 5 weeks of cake

**Cricket** · February 25th, 2015, 11:09 AM

I'm still feeling unusually good, so I took another pregnancy test today and thankfully it came up strong positive right away. Maybe I should just enjoy this....

No doubt in a couple weeks I'll be hanging over the toilet bowl and wishing for this feeling again.

I think we may have picked a girl name too, which is remarkable - usually we can't settle anything until 38 weeks or so!

Kazzo - I hear you on the close birthdays! We have three in August, one in September, two (going to be three!) in October, one in November and one in December. And then one odd-ball in May. By the time Christmas comes around, I'm pretty much out of ideas and out of money for gifts.

**turtledove** · February 25th, 2015, 04:35 PM

Yes, this is baby #8 for us. DH and I think this will likely be our last, but we'll see how things go. Big families are not so common these days, but I do know of a few others in our area, and TBH most people have been very positive about our family (at least to our faces!). I haven't had any of the terribly rude comments that other people seem to get... It surprises me a little how people think we must be "super parents" or something - 100+ years ago people were having larger families than ours without running water, washing machines, grocery stores, or even the medical care that we have now! We have it easy.

True. I also think they were more likely to have help -- whether family or hired. Reading the biography of Elizabeth Prentiss, 1800s, I was amazed how many maids, cooks, etc they had, and they weren't a wealthy family. Not discrediting, I'm sure they all worked hard, and a baby is a full time job no matter what era!

Glad the test was still positive, so you are able to relax and enjoy

**Cricket** · February 25th, 2015, 09:18 PM

That is true too, Turtledove. At least for some families. They had someone to help with the washing, while I have a washing machine, etc. I have read some pioneer biographies though that leave me in total amazement - huge families in a one room cabin in the woods, no help, no near neighbours, and a husband gone trapping furs all winter... I can't even imagine.

**EssTee** · February 26th, 2015, 07:34 PM

Hi ladies, thank you for the replies! I've mostly avoided the topic of homebirth because I'm vbac as well. I'm actually petrified someone will somehow find out and report my IM. She even tried to tell me it's highly unlikely, but I would feel so guilty if it happened. I know a number of people linked to people in midwifery, and I'm not sure their feelings on HB. One of them is my MIL's sister, and works at the hospital that I plan to book in at...
Anyway, I'm sure it will all work out towards the end... I think just telling people I trust for now is best...

**EssTee** · February 26th, 2015, 07:35 PM

I hope that the rest of you are well. Sorry for the separate post my phone was doing weird things!

**Artechim** · February 27th, 2015, 06:03 AM

It will work out in the end

Keep it quiet if the naysayers will bring you down, at the end of the day it isn't really anyone else's business anyway.

**Cricket** · March 1st, 2015, 12:46 AM

I think I'm out ladies. Started spotting yesterday, and today I have red bleeding and cramping. I suspected something wasn't right from the start, since I never really felt pregnant, but DH and I are both very sad to have this little one leave us. I've never miscarried before, and I'm not even sure what I'm supposed to do. I don't really want to go in to Emerg for poking and prodding, and my midwives aren't in the office, since it's a weekend.
Wishing you all the best with your bellies and babies.

**HotI** · March 1st, 2015, 06:33 PM

im sorry Hun. ive lost two little ones, and just let it happen. no prodding necessary.

take care of yourself

**turtledove** · March 1st, 2015, 11:02 PM

I'm so sorry to hear that Cricket.

for your loss.

Don't feel that you have to leave this thread. You are more than welcome to stick around and chat

**Cricket** · March 2nd, 2015, 09:50 AM

Thanks so much for the kind words, ladies. I ended up going in to the hospital yesterday because I was going crazy thinking "yes, this is over" one minute and then "no, maybe everything is ok" the next minute. I wanted a definite answer on what was happening, one way or the other. It turned out to be harder than I thought to get an answer! I spent several hours waiting in the emergency department before they were able to see me on Saturday. They drew blood to check hormone levels. The doctor was very kind and did an ultrasound right away, but he couldn't tell what was happening. Too early, baby too small. He said come back tomorrow. So I went back today and they did an abdominal and a vaginal ultrasound, but again, it was inconclusive. They could see a fetal sac, but couldn't tell anything else. They took more blood, and sent me home, saying they would call me with the results. A few hours later they called and said that the hormone levels were half what they were yesterday, so this baby is definitely leaving us. I am sad, but also relieved to know what is happening. Anyways, I just thought I'd let you know how we were, and thank you again for your kindness and support. Maybe one of these days I'll be back again.

**turtledove** · March 6th, 2015, 08:40 AM

Sorry to hear that Cricket. You must be feeling really sad to say goodbye to your little one. Take care of yourself hun

**turtledove** · March 12th, 2015, 03:34 PM

Hello ladies, how is everyone? How are you coping, Cricket?

Back on the topic of immunisations, has anyone seen the movie "Bought" ? You can view it free online until the end of the weekend. I can't post the link, but if you goggle it it should come up. Very worthwhile if you get the time, I really recommend it. It's about how the pharmaceutical companies are controlling things, background info on immunisations, etc.