Homebirth General Discussion #4

[Schmickers]

Welcome to Homebirth General Discussion!

You are continuing from your old thread.

[~Stoked~]

Just subscribing

Also, had my scan today and there is a heartbeat! Woohooo!

[PumpkinZulu]

Subbing! Congrats Marcellus, welcome Miss M!!

Schmik, your avi makes me

Stoked, congratulations, that's fantastic!

Second meeting with the midwife tomorrow, a little nervous about a couple of things, but we'll see how we go.

[meow]

Also, had my scan today and there is a heartbeat! Woohooo!

Gorgeous!

Let us know how you go PZ! Hope all is wonderful

[Tegam]

Stoked thats amazing!!!!!

Marcellus how are you?? Cant wait to hear about the birth!

Let us know how you go PZ!

Meow

AFM: MW appointment today, internal (hoping for a S&S) ay 12noon. Belly dropped yesterday, its really amazing, must be 3inches lower than wednesday! Come on baby!

[PumpkinZulu]

Hope you got your s&s Tegam, and that everything went well!

Midwife appointment was great! I really like our midwife, Sue. Discussed all my concerns, mainly for having a managed 3rd stage (not their pollicy, she had a girl last night go 2 hours in delivering the placenta before she asked for the injection) and how far an ob would 'let' me go postdates (16 days, I'm good with that). They will provide the birth pool which is great, we'll just hire sone urns to keep it warm. She checked for bubs heartbeat with the Doppler but couldn't find it, but she didn't seem concerned. It did make me a little worried though, any reassurance there guys? And she confirmed that the flutters and popping sensation is most likely me feeling the baby move!!! Wow!

[Arimeh]

Apparently its not uncommon to not be able to find a baby's heartbeat at 15 weeks - they couldn't find bubs heartbeat when I was 20 weeks with a doppler so had to get a scanner in so we could see it - and even then it was tricky because of bub's position. So try not to think the worst

Stoked - you already know how "stoked" I am for you

Tegam - Update please!!!

[meow]

Tegam- how did you go? S&S sounds ouchy to me, but then I've never had any internals either and they scare me Hope it went well! Which MW are you talking about? Through the hospital? Or have you hired an IM now?

PZ- Yay! Sounds like a bunch of great news. I'm really glad to hear the myth of managed 3rd stage is wrong I declined the doppler during pregnancy (just used it in labour) so cant help you there sorry. I did find the wait between the 12 to 20 week ultrasounds hard at times0 after then you feel kicks so its easier to relax.

[Cassius2]

woo hoo! i am so so happy to see that this thread has just started moving leaps and bounds. when i came in here it was with HB discussion #1 and sadly had been for sometime...this is a fantastic reflection on a changing birth space!!! YAY!!!

Stoked: YAY!! your bubba is growing healthy and strong!!

PZ: so happy that your midwife was lovely! my IM was also called Sue! haha, maybe it's part of the trade
the heartbeat as the others have said can be tricky at times. bubba can be in a crazy possie, or the placenta might get in the way. 15 weeks is early and a bit hit and miss. by the time your next appt is here it will go easier xx

Marc: as i said in your BA; congratulations! what a beautiful name!

AFM: well, i had a bit of a strange night. i watched the preview that Kelly posted "the other side of the glass" about birth experiences and how they shape us etc. it did stir up alot of emotion in me about the treatment of myself and Leila during her birth journey. everytime i think i am healing from it, or have come to terms with it, there is always something new that i remember or a feeling that i remember and i feel sad/violated etc all over again. man, how i wish i could turn back the clock and give ourselves a much gentler birth

[PumpkinZulu]

Cassius. I avent watches it yet as I'm worried it will be too emotive for me I understand what you mean about thunk you're healed and then having those wounds reopened though.

[Tegam]

S&S done, 2cms, and she could feel bubs head that well that she felt the suture lines! Monday i was closed, cervix was posterior and long! So huge changes... hoping my baby comes soon!

[meow]

Cassius- I totally get what you are saying. The footage of the mother at the end doing fake smiles then letting her pain show when unguarded really showed the face of birth trauma for me. There seems to be a sense that you eventually 'get over it' but I wonder if you ever truly can? Maybe just learning to hold it and walk with it is the best that you can do? Perhaps as with most grief, the pain just dulls and doesn't hit you as often or hard over time- but it never actually goes away.

I also feel that the film was a little extreme in its interpretation of the effect ofbirth trauma on a baby though. Im not personally into rebirthing or anything so maybe I'm too dismissive? I really, really do believe in the effect of early experiences on attachment and emotional development for example but I dont think one experience can be the root of all later issues (such as expressed with the speech issues of Andrew in the film). Humans are smarter than that. We take an average of a sample of experiences... just as one experience of CIO doesn't cause permanent attachment issues for a baby, I dont think a rough birth followed by gentle parenting wouldn't have as strong effects as suggested.

Not sure if Im making sense... I still 100% believe you, Leila and every mother and child deserve a gentle birth experience though. I wish you could have that. I think it's wonderful Leila was involved in Marta's birth- to offer her (and you) a gentle birth experience and that memory to hold.

[Cassius2]

I also feel that the film was a little extreme in its interpretation of the effect ofbirth trauma on a baby though. Im not personally into rebirthing or anything so maybe I'm too dismissive? I really, really do believe in the effect of early experiences on attachment and emotional development for example but I dont think one experience can be the root of all later issues (such as expressed with the speech issues of Andrew in the film). Humans are smarter than that. We take an average of a sample of experiences... just as one experience of CIO doesn't cause permanent attachment issues for a baby, I dont think a rough birth followed by gentle parenting wouldn't have as strong effects as suggested.

this is my thinking as well (so yeah you do make sense to me ). i see these type of non-gentle births for what they are: a violation and a trauma, but i also agree that it's the way we learn to carry that and deal with that that shows the true impact (if any) in the long term. i am sure that a child that suffers a birth like that and then goes on to have a difficult babyhood would present with alot more trauma response and continue to carry and react to that first experience IYKWIM. what i think we can learn from the film as parents is how to bring our babies into the world with as much love as possible, to give us all the best start possible....soooo, homebirth all the way!

[onthefly]

Hi everyone!
Well no homebirth for us after all - I added a little update in the BA thread. I'll get to the birth story later on - bit of drama! But we're all good and home now.

[Liz]

*hugs* Marcellus. I read your update. Sounds like you were in very good hands. So glad you're doing well now.

[Cassius2]

big hugs Marc that must of been scary at times xx

I guess this is where we are gently reminded that our children have their own birth journies to make, it is our role in these moments to go with that...and TBH i reckon the fact that it was a planned HB and that you had all the love and support at home (and then when you were transferred...i am sure that love and support followed you ) is of enormous and immeasurable help during those moments where things sometimes dont go as planned

[*Infinity*]

I guess this is where we are gently reminded that our children have their own birth journies to make, it is our role in these moments to go with that...

So so true Cassius, and a huge part of my journey this year after DD was born has been working through exactly that.

Big hugs Marcellus, I think you're amazing.

[Tegam]

AH marcellus. Sorry to hear that you had to transfer. But, wow for getting to have the excitement of going into labour naturally and your daughter picking her own birthday. I remember after i had my HB with DS thinking wow that was nice but i really had planned more a home labour as well as birth and i was sort of sorry that it had all happened so quickly that i couldnt experience that warm, loving birth environment IYKWIM?

I am so very proud of you all and the strength you showed in the weeks leading up to M's birth! You really are a great advocate for yourself and your children!

2.6l of blood....scary! And leading with her ear....maybe she will be musical??