I have in no way read this whole thread, so I hope you don't mind if I join in. Have a Spring babe on board at the moment and looking forward to a peaceful birth at home.
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Cass, would love to have come see you talk! Best wishes.
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I have in no way read this whole thread, so I hope you don't mind if I join in. Have a Spring babe on board at the moment and looking forward to a peaceful birth at home.
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Really??? Ohhh god I'm homesick! Good luck! You'll be awesome. I wish I was hanging out with you and our midwives. By the time I get back it'll be too long to be part of all that.
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yay yay yay welcome
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welcome brogeybear!!
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Welcome Brogeybear!!
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Alright girls, I'm in a pickle. Three of the IMs I contacted are all on holidays for my due date.
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Thanks for the welcomes women!
Jennifer, would you consider a doula or a lay midwife if you cannot find an IM that you click with?
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spread the list around jennifer and give us instruction! a job shared is a job halvedim happy to help!
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Hi Lovely Ladies. My name is Bella and I am only just pregnant but have been planning a homebirth after a previous C/S with DD in '09'. Looking forward to getting to know you all a little better as I continue this journey. So VERY excited!!!
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Welcome To the newies
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Jennifer: i can ask with my group if any of their peeps in your neck of the woods is about? would that be ok??
and a big welcome to Bella!
it's great to see new people come in and join this awesome journey!
AFM: well the talk at the Meet the Midwives thingo went AWESOME!i am so happy! i just hope that it inspired some people to think about waterbirth and the use of water in labour...and of course for any that were just going to go to hossy to maybe even just entertain the idea of a HB. it was so cool looking at the expectant couples and see their excitement and joy. Marta also "chatted" to them while i was doing my talk and she gave commentary when our video was put up lol.
oh, and NO PANIC ATTACKS!!!! ahhh this homebirth really was healing after all!! (for those that havent shared the earlier part of my journey i had suffered from a PTSD after the birth of my first child....so anything "official birth stuff" could set me off).
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Cassius, that would be great! I'm in northern Sydney, upper north shore. I have a few contacts I will be asking as well. Thanks!
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Welcome Bella! Do you mind sharing your past birth story?? Congratulations in your BFP and more congrats for choosing a HBACS! I just attened my 3rd Vbac three weeks ago and i am still on a high! She was born in hospital but no intervention, it was amazing
Cass:I knew you would do a great job and Marta must have made everyone so happy having a chat! I rekon if i ever have another one im watching your montage everyday
Bellyrubs ladies and cuddles to the bubs in the group!
Oh Em...your still pregnant in your avvy love!
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Hi Tegam, thanks for the welcome ladies.
My story is simple and complex at the same time. I chose care thru the BC at Townsville when we moved there halfway thru my pregnancy. I made a great bond with my midwife and really looked forward to labour. I did a calmbirth course with my DH and slept with a copy of Ina Mays guide to childbirth next to my bed. I really wanted a vaginal birth but I wasn't totally committed to a natural birth. I had always had terrible period pain my whole life and suspected that I might have a painful labor, so I didn't rule out pain relief but I didn't want an epi. Anyway my pregnancy continued and continued. I was pretty comfortable with the knowledge that the women in my family gest long. My grandmother went to 43, 42 and 41 weeks respectively and my mother and sister were similar. Non has ever delivered early. I knew I was starting to come up against the rules of the hospital regarding post dates, partially cos I was super aware of the politics because my sister was the consumer rep who had lobbied to get the BC for Townsville and she is also a Doula and was highly involved in birthing in the hospital. So I had an ob appointment at 41+4 and negotiated to continue care until 42+3 in the BC. Eventually on the saturday,at 42 weeks preg I began to go into painful contrax during the arvo so much that I didn't get a rest thT day. I ignored them partially because I had had painful BH most nights for 5 weeks prior which were often constant and regular down to 4 mins apart. Anyway by 2Am I knew it had begun and called my sister to sit with me and let DH have a rest, which he didn't do. I went pretty well for most of the night. I knew (because my MW had called my DH to tell him) that my midwife couldn't come to me for a long time as she had spent 14 hrs with another woman on saturday. So I held on to the thought that I needed to let her have a rest and I would just cope till she got there. We finally called her at about 10 because of awful back pain that was just sending me past what I was coping with. She arrived, did a VE and said I was only 2cms. I really fell apart. She suggested going to the BC to get intradermal water injections in my back for the back pain. We ended up at the BC at about 1 and I remember DH asking me if I really wanted him to do all of those thing I had said I wanted to use to delay pain relief or did I just want to have gas? I said just give me gas....... From there on in I remember very little. The injections helped alot but I had really checked out. I was exhausted. I had been awake since 7 on sat morning it was now mid afternoon on Sunday. I had peth and then my MW did a VE and realized that bubs was posterior. My sister turned bubs using the rebozo and all of a sudden bubs was OA and perfectly aligned. My MW has been on the ph to the reg in birthsuite who has asked for a second VE 2hrs after the first and if I hadn't progressed I was ro be brought to bs and have a ctg... Will finish this at home, sorry for spelling mistakes this was on tap talk
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So anyway I went up to the BS full confident that my baby was fine and I would come back down. I had the ctg and baby was fine but I was told I was not allowed to go back to the BC because the consultant on the other end of a ph said I was post dates and therefore not allowed. I consented to a AROM because I hoped it would bring labour on my full because my mw had been with me for 7 hrs by about 8pm that night and would have to leave in a further 5 if I hadn't delivered due to workplace rules. there was a little bit of sediment at the bottom of my waters which dirtied a patch on the bedding about the size of a cricket ball.. the rest of my waters ran clear. The Reg declared this Mec and my MW stood silently as did my husband. I should probably say at this point that my DH is an emergency DR. He spent 18months doing obstetric anaesthetics and was thoroughly terrified. He saw a woman die on a theatre table after an uncomplicated VB. The simply couldn't stop her PPH. I know for him that when he watched me labour he was doing so thru a veil of blood..... I knew he had fears but it wasn't until after the birth that I came to realise the terror he was in. So neither decided to correct what they knew was an incorrect assessment. My MW because she feared for her job due to a prior disciplinary issue of her colleague, which had left them all scared(Once again I was actually aware of all of those political things because I am an emergency nurse, had bonded on a friendship and collegial level with my MW, and spent much of my time in labour trying to protect those around me, by not being a "difficult" patient). My husband said nothing I think because he was far more comfortable with an interventional approach and just plain scared. So whilst my MW documented thru my notes my clear liquor, the Reg wrote that I requested induction due to mec in the waters. From there on in it was the typical cascade. I couldn't cope with the synto, and had an epi. I dilated to 6 cm an then was told the next shift would be there in two hours at 7 and if I didn't dilate more they would have to change plans........ I knew what that meant and got them to sit me up desperate to help the baby come down. I was exhausted too. I had sleept a few hours and by the time the new reg got there I had had about 3 hrs sleep in 48hrs.
The Reg who walked in was an old friend I had worked with in Nambour previously and I liked and trusted her. I gave in at that point. I knew what the all wanted and staring up at my husbands tear stained face I quietly acquiesced. I stared up an my husband the whole way thru the op and was completely calm. I gave every bit of strength I had to him. When I got my baby girl about 5 mins after she was born I was strangely calm. there was no sense of great elation. I got skin on skin in theatre and bf in recovery. The nurses kept trying to dress her but I wouldn't let them and held her all night long.
The C/s was at 10am on the monday morning. I had a horrible night. I was put in a double room with a crying 16yo. The MW didn't give me a single room as was the norm if you were a staff member. I had a horrible time having to use a bedpan for a bowel motion at about 1am that was just yucky and embarrassing beyond belief and I thought couldn't be made worse, unti I heard the little MW vomiting in the pan room next door...... I really wanted to die at that point. I could just imagine what they would all be saying in the tea room... So the next morning I discharged myself. I was home 27hrs post op. I had my MIL who was a nurse caring for me as well as my husband.
As I healed from the birth I started going to BAC(birth after C/S) group which my sister runs in Townsville. I had a lot to process. There were so many things along the way that if they had of been different could have changed the whole birth. So lots of regrets. I spent many hours in the middle of the night processing what had happened instead of sleeping. I felt very betrayed by my colleagues and husband, even my sister despite her trying to support my choices because she had been unaccountable "nice and quiet" thru the birth and I had never know her to be like that EVER... And I held a massive amount of regret that I didn't know better than to trust the hospital. I had known about intervention. I had just thought that somehow I could get them to do what I wanted. I hadn't really understood the profound vulnerability of a labouring woman. I am a woman who desperately protects her vulnerabilities. I hate feeling weak. I learnt to show the world a mask at a young age and didn't let people near me, because I found hurt just so overwhelming. During labour and birth I thought I would be protected and instead felt so intensely vulnerable afterwards it was hard to breathe thinking about it. I realised that most of the people I had had around me couldn't protect me because fundamentally they didn't think there was anything wrong with what happened.
I came to the lightbulb moment that I was going to have to have HB for my next birth slowly over the next few months. When my husband realised where I was headed it caused a real blow to our relationship. He was terrified. He wouldn't let me use our private health(not that I had wanted to) with our first baby because private hospitals don't have anaesthetics on site 24/7. So the thought that I would consider a HB was just mind boggling for him. Since then much has changed. He loves me with all his heart I know this, as much as I love him. However I can't give another birth to my husband and do what he needs me to do to feel safe. I can't feel safe in a hospital to give birth again. It has to be at home. I will pick my MW with extreme care too because there are lots of them who are just glorified BS midwives with all of the same fears to bring to a home.
I went and did a doula course with Michel Odent earlier this year. It has really clarified for me what I want for my birth. Something very simple and supported. To feel unwatched and un-judged. My hubby supports my choice now but he will probably not be with me when I labour, even if he comes in at the end. His fear is far to potent. I have only asked of him the gift of him being positive about the birth during this pregnancy. Other than that I support the choice for him to not be present. For both of our sakes.
So there you go. I think you go more than you wanted Tegam. That was kinda cathartic to be honest tho. This has already been a big journey for me and I know I have a long way to go preparing for a HBAC. So I hope you can all support me in the ride.
xx Bella
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This is so so close to how i felt and really reminds me so much of that time surrounding DD1s birth (the exploitation of my vulnerability left me literally traumatised: i honestly thought that they would be there to care and support me and my baby, and if they didnt, then my DH would...but that hospital environment pushes them out of the picture in terms of 'place' IYKWIM).
I can promise you that this journey will be different. you have decided to take a different road through learned experiences. having your IM by your side whenever you need her/him. Use this coming pregnancy journey to share as much as you can with your DH but without compromise to your needs. my DH was frightened, not so much of the birth, but the memories and what could happen afterwards (ie PND and PTSD again). we had to work through that quite a bit with my calmbirth practitioner. and we also did counselling for it...incredibly cathartic for us!
I for one look forward to sharing this journey with you! pity that i dont know any midwives up there for you! move to melbourne and i'll find one lol
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i know this feeling too well. and next time i am staying home too. only those who i invite will be allowed in my space.
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