Homebirth General Discussion #6

[HotI]

My MW was happy to come here for all my appts. My Mum lives closer to the midwife, and as it is quite easy for me to meet there, some of our appts now we are doing there. Mum gets to play with my LO and it's not as far for the MW to travel. As we get closer to the birth, i will have more appts at home, but this works out fine for both of us.

DO you think the MW is concerned about the distance for the birth or for appts?

Beansbeans, how far away from medical care / hospital are you if your midwife was not going to make it?

Loulabelle, that must be so disappointing. Hope you can get all the info so you can make your decisions.

[Cassius2]

Loulabelle: far out babe . i am still holding onto hope that something will be able to be done so that you can do this

Beans: my birth was all up 1.5 hours and the midwife travelled 45 mins to my house and got there with about 40mins to go and it was just perfect! i was off in lala labour land and didnt really notice her arrival until she placed some lovely lavender washers on my neck...i'd be tempted to keep her on the backburner TBH...

Jennifer: oohh i am sure that you are going to love the calmbirth course! are you going to go to peters one? i have heard that his is (of course!) fantastic! worth the commute . i am so so happy that i did calmbirth, it was such an amazing and empowering tool for me.

[beansbeans!]

Thanks Cassius2
My labour was 1.5hrs (1st contraction to birth), with DD2, and thats the same amount of time that it would take the midwife in no traffic. The main reason for us not taking her on, was on the way home DH commented on how many times the midwife said she more than likely wouldnt make it but would talk him through it on the phone. When we actuallu talked it through, she kept on saying "When you go into labour, call me and I will come down, but more than likely I will miss the birth, but dont worry I will talk you through it on the phone and I'll get there not too long afterwards." Wasnt the most comforting concept for DH. For me, I dont want to be in labour worrying about whether the midwife will make it, especially after last time not knowing if we would make the hospital or deliver on the side of the road.
After we said we wouldnt be needing her services, I have thought about whether we did the right thing or not. But upon reflecting on the appointment, she wanted us to drive to her for every apppointment, preferably without the girls. It really didnt fit with what I had in mind.

So for now I shall be leaving this thread. My journey for a homebirth isnt happening this tiem round, well unless its a free birth. Instead of spending my energy trying to for the impoosible, I am going to enjoy my pregnancy, strengthen my mind and my resolve to make the most of this pregnancy, labour and birth. I know one thing for sure, its going to be one of the longest birth plans in history!

Thanks ladies

[Cassius2]

After we said we wouldnt be needing her services, I have thought about whether we did the right thing or not. But upon reflecting on the appointment, she wanted us to drive to her for every apppointment, preferably without the girls. It really didnt fit with what I had in mind.

this is so so true! I had turned down 2 midwives for this very reason. one, wanted nothing to do with DH and was so militant in her views that men were the enemy of birth that it really didnt fit with our families values and perceptions of birth. and the second was lovely in so many respects and on paper was great, but she wanted the appts to be at her house (which again, didnt suit our circumstances with my history of the PTSD related to not feeling safe). so i totally get and totally respect the decision you made, and it was the right one!

bummed that you can't stay here and have a lovely HB though ...but i am certain that you will have a beautiful birth journey. will you be able to have an IM support you at hossy at all? or are the same reasons above also the same for a hossy birth?

[beansbeans!]

bummed that you can't stay here and have a lovely HB though ...but i am certain that you will have a beautiful birth journey. will you be able to have an IM support you at hossy at all? or are the same reasons above also the same for a hossy birth?

Thanks Cassius! Unfortunately no IM for me either, the hospital midwives will not work with them (dumb hospital). When the time comes, and if I make it hospital, I shall have my game face on, Dh will have his on (he knows to protect our wishes and to stand up to the know it alls), and we will get the best of a bad environment. If there is a next time, it will be a HB.

[Jennifer13]

Oh yay, Ash!!! Fx it all works out. Thank goodness you kept trying.

[e_p]

Ash – I’m so sorry and so disappointed for you and also really disappointed in the midwives you have contacted that they won’t support you.

Loulabelle – I’m sorry that it’s looking like HB may not be a safe option for you – fingers crossed for some good news! Will your m/w be able to continue to support you if you do need to birth in hospital?

[Cassius2]

jennifer: oh that is awesome! my DH found the course really great in helping connect to the birth experience as they play an active role, and when he learnt that even the fathers at the birth produce the oxytocin in the right circumstances (ie in a supported, caring birth environment!) then he was totally into it and felt that he actually had a place in the process and could belong...such a difference to the first experience the hossy.