Homebirth General Discussion #6

[Cassius2]

YAY Beansbeans!!!!!! this is great news

Arte: oh dear . Marta didnt even notice, she just slept (like a baby ).

HotI: we also had some pretty mega name dramas. had no idea what to call DD2. in the end we went back to basics and went through our memory of names that we have heard along the way and remembered our fav show 'arrested development' and it all went from there.

Ozzie: I too had pretty bad muscle separation this time. i wish i had of taken the advice of one of my belly buddies and gotten the band thingy. I got it quite bad with DD1, but it seemed to heal quickly back into place, whereas this time, nada. i am not sure how or if it will TBH

[e_p]

Bella29:So exciting! I’m loving the kicks and tumbles so much I don’t even mind needing to wake up in the night to go to the loo because I hop back into bed and get to fall back asleep feeling bub kicking away

HotI: yep – my/our IM can do the heel ***** test at home – when I asked about it she said she usually waits until the baby is a few days old so they’re well hydrated which can help with their pain/discomfort.

I have no idea about a hearing test – to be honest I haven’t heard about doing it so now I have a question to ask mw tomorrow!!

I’m doing birth classes with Di Diddle in North Fitzroy – I’ve heard lots of good things about them, and they were also the closet to us in terms of travel, and the most affordable of the independent classes I could find online. I can PM you her website if you like?

Beansbeans! – Welcome aboard!!!

All the women with muscle separation – I’m thinking of you! It sounds painful

I went to my sister-in-law's baby shower last weekend - she is due one week before me. She can be quite competitive so I was anxious that my being there would be a little awkward if there were comparisons etc etc when I really wanted for the day to be about her, and was also nervous that I might cop some negative comments about planning a homebirth. I decided to just be honest about it if people asked - a few did, I told them our plans and they were so positive and supportive it was such a confidence booster! The only person who was less than positive was my sister-in-law but I kind of expected that and she was at least polite (I was pretty surprised she didn't already know because we've talked about it quite a bit with both of our families).

[*Ash*]

Hi...Warning! I think this will be long and it will be all about me and my sorry tale.

I am feeling so disheartened. I just spoke to the midwife recommended to me by the last midwife who wouldn't 'take me on'! This one won't take me on either. I told her where I live (45 mins drive from her) and she said she was concerned that I was too far away. Then when she heard it was my 4th baby, and that my last baby was born in 3 hours, she expressed concern that she would not make it in time. She also said that she is having trouble at the moment finding 'back-up' midwives - and she only likes to work with back-up. She mentioned that our local base hospital (5 mins drive from me) is considering a homebirth program. But apparently, they have been considering it for nearly a year! And I would probably have to be booked in to their caseload/community midwifery program to get access to the homebirth program if it 'suddenly' started up.

The last three midwives that I have spoken too have been worried about the distance 'issue'. They are all having trouble finding 'back-up' midwives for the dates that they need them. The town I live in is the largest town in this region. I just can't believe that there are no midwives in my town anymore. I know over a dozen women who have homebirthed in my area over the last 8 years. It is not uncommon here - or, it wasn't uncommon. The current political climate is just so horrendous at the moment - so many have dropped out.

Oh crap, I don't know what to do now I am pretty sure that DH would not feel comfortable with us freebirthing. Our third child was covered in meconium when he was born (my waters broke right at the end of labour) and DH told me later that he totally panicked and thought our bub was in trouble. He said that it was such a relief to have the midwives there. I don't know if i would feel comfortable freebirthing. Could I? I'm not sure. I assume that it is something I have to be completely sure about. I don't think I know enough about what to do after the bub is born!

I don't know who else to contact - my list of contacts and 'leads' has run dry!

A midwife from the community midwifery program at the local hospy called me back, and said that it was a shame I hadn't contacted them sooner because I was 'perfect' for their program. She has put me on the waiting list. It is not my preferred option. It sounds better than the 'general' hospy program though.

I feel sad that this little bubba may not be born at home. How long can I go on hoping that I will find a midwife? At some stage I will have to just accept that it may not happen, and move on.

Regarding the heel pr!ck test, both my homebirthed bubs had their heel pr!ck tests done at home by our midwife. Neither of them had the hearing test.

Hello to everyone, and thank you so much for the support that you have given me.

[Eenee]

Oh Ash that sucks! My MW is an hour away and I know she even travels further then that for births. I'm not sure what I'd do if I was in your position

[loulabelle]

That seriously sucks ash. I hope something comes up for you.

Afm , I'm 90% unable to Homebirth due to the anatomy results. They think I have an extra placental lobe which puts me at higher risk of pph and a couple of other things. My midwife is talking to obs about it to see what we can do. I'm extremely disappointed and it makes me regret not having a Homebirth last time as I might not get the chance now.

Sent from my GT-S5570 using Tapatalk

[*Ash*]

Oh loulabelle, I am sorry How disappointing. What other options are there? Due to the risk of pph is your only option a hospital birth?

Thanks for your support Loulabelle and em.

[Arcadia]

Ash that's so crap!! My midwife lives 45 mins from me and granted she didn't make ds birth but that was because she didn't get the trillion phone calls we made to her lol.

I think everyone should be prepared for a free birth because you really never know what can happen. If the hospital is only five mins away why not just play it by ear? Get a booking at the hospital and then when the time comes just stay home as long as possible. Once bub arrives you could always ring an ambulance too so you have extra hands if you're worried. As far as I am concerned a labour progressing well is nothing to worry about... You'll know if things aren't going smoothly and then transfer to the hospital.

I'm so sorry you're going through this stress. Where are you based? Can I help find a midwife or doula for you?

[Cassius2]

Oh Ash this must be unbearable! I think Arcadia is right, that any pregnant woman needs to be prepared for a 'freebirth'! i am a little gobsmacked that IMs are not choosing to take you on for a 45 min drive. man, if that were the case here in melb no one would get an IM!! my IM lives roughly an hour away and that is in relatively good traffic.

far out brussel sprout.

i guess i would book into the hospy, but prepare to stay at home for as long as possible and probably call an ambo at the time that feels right IYKWIM. but again, HB is more than just having a baby at home, it is about the support and care that comes with it. what do the IMs say to being your IM for a hospital birth (that you might not birth at if things *just* happen to go that way )? you know, so that they can provide pregnancy and post birth support, rather than birth support directly? could that be an option?

[beansbeans!]

Oh Ash!

I came in here tonight to update and say pretty much exactly what you have written. The midwife I went to see pretty much said she would take us on but was highly doubtful of making the birth due to distance. But she would talk dh through it on the phone. we decided against going with her, our leads have run out. We are in the same situation.

[HotI]

My midwife lives at least 45 mins away from me. I know she also supported a woman who lives a further 15mins up the hwy.

I don't know what i would do if i hadn't hooked up with her. I don't think i could face going to hospital.

[Jennifer13]

My m/w is at least 45 mins away. The only moment of pause for her was that I wanted her to come to me for all home visits as I couldn't see myself fitting in such a long round trip while DD was at school and I was working 4-5 days a week. So we paid her a little extra for that. She has mums that are even further away from me by another half an hour too!

If IMs were not prepared to take on women 45 mins or more away in Sydney I doubt we'd have any HBs tbh. Traffic would make less than 45 mins almost impossible to most mothers! How far away is the hospital for most of you?

I got my PHI letter saying my HB was approved. So I've done everything I need now. I'm reading through all the books my m/w has given me. Just the calm birth course to book in now. 12 weeks or so to go!

[HotI]

My MW was happy to come here for all my appts. My Mum lives closer to the midwife, and as it is quite easy for me to meet there, some of our appts now we are doing there. Mum gets to play with my LO and it's not as far for the MW to travel. As we get closer to the birth, i will have more appts at home, but this works out fine for both of us.

DO you think the MW is concerned about the distance for the birth or for appts?

Beansbeans, how far away from medical care / hospital are you if your midwife was not going to make it?

Loulabelle, that must be so disappointing. Hope you can get all the info so you can make your decisions.

[Cassius2]

Loulabelle: far out babe . i am still holding onto hope that something will be able to be done so that you can do this

Beans: my birth was all up 1.5 hours and the midwife travelled 45 mins to my house and got there with about 40mins to go and it was just perfect! i was off in lala labour land and didnt really notice her arrival until she placed some lovely lavender washers on my neck...i'd be tempted to keep her on the backburner TBH...

Jennifer: oohh i am sure that you are going to love the calmbirth course! are you going to go to peters one? i have heard that his is (of course!) fantastic! worth the commute . i am so so happy that i did calmbirth, it was such an amazing and empowering tool for me.

[Jennifer13]

I am going to Peter's Cassius. It happens to be the closest for us as well and I'm hoping that DP enjoys the male POV. Booking in next week for the next.

Bub wiggled herself further around the front today and is giving me complete faith that she knows how to make her way out from the best possible position. I think the prenatal yoga has been great for my aches and her position too.

[e_p]

Ash – I’m so sorry and so disappointed for you and also really disappointed in the midwives you have contacted that they won’t support you.

Loulabelle – I’m sorry that it’s looking like HB may not be a safe option for you – fingers crossed for some good news! Will your m/w be able to continue to support you if you do need to birth in hospital?

[Cassius2]

jennifer: oh that is awesome! my DH found the course really great in helping connect to the birth experience as they play an active role, and when he learnt that even the fathers at the birth produce the oxytocin in the right circumstances (ie in a supported, caring birth environment!) then he was totally into it and felt that he actually had a place in the process and could belong...such a difference to the first experience the hossy.

[e_p]

I got my PHI letter saying my HB was approved. So I've done everything I need now. I'm reading through all the books my m/w has given me. Just the calm birth course to book in now. 12 weeks or so to go!

Jennifer - can I ask which health fund you are with? I'm with AHM - I called them at 6mths pregnant to ask whether I needed prior approval to claim on midwife-assisted HB and the consultant said no, to just lodge the claim with receipts after the birth but I'm not confident I was given accurate information?

[beansbeans!]

Thanks Cassius2
My labour was 1.5hrs (1st contraction to birth), with DD2, and thats the same amount of time that it would take the midwife in no traffic. The main reason for us not taking her on, was on the way home DH commented on how many times the midwife said she more than likely wouldnt make it but would talk him through it on the phone. When we actuallu talked it through, she kept on saying "When you go into labour, call me and I will come down, but more than likely I will miss the birth, but dont worry I will talk you through it on the phone and I'll get there not too long afterwards." Wasnt the most comforting concept for DH. For me, I dont want to be in labour worrying about whether the midwife will make it, especially after last time not knowing if we would make the hospital or deliver on the side of the road.
After we said we wouldnt be needing her services, I have thought about whether we did the right thing or not. But upon reflecting on the appointment, she wanted us to drive to her for every apppointment, preferably without the girls. It really didnt fit with what I had in mind.

So for now I shall be leaving this thread. My journey for a homebirth isnt happening this tiem round, well unless its a free birth. Instead of spending my energy trying to for the impoosible, I am going to enjoy my pregnancy, strengthen my mind and my resolve to make the most of this pregnancy, labour and birth. I know one thing for sure, its going to be one of the longest birth plans in history!

Thanks ladies