homebirth general discussion #9

[Jennifer13]

Yeah, I noticed that too, Hot1. I'm not a fan of VEs and I never had one during labour. I think we could both tell about where I was at anyway, give or take. It all happened so quickly once she got here and I even found the Doppler annoying sometimes!

I am personally of the belief that VEs promote infection, particularly if your waters have broken.

[Cricket]

Yep, I think that VE's can definitely be overdone, or "over relied on" if you know what I mean. There is always the risk of infection, along with the possibility of becoming discouraged if the result isn't what you were hoping for, etc. Personally though, I like to have a check once in a while in labour. I've never found them too uncomfortable (maybe I've got especially gentle midwives...?) and I like to have a concrete marker to tell me that I'm really accomplishing something - ie. you were at 4 and now you're at 7, so things are truly happening. My water has generally been broken shortly before pushing, so I wouldn't have too many checks with broken water anyways. And I liked to have the go ahead on pushing too - not that you can do much to stop it. But I've read a number of stories where a woman pushed for an hour, and then they checked and discovered a lip of cervix that had to be moved. I'd rather know beforehand that everything is clear, and I'm all set to push for all I'm worth.
Those are just my personal preferences though - I don't think that VE's should be considered essential for assessing labour. My midwives have done them only at my request, not just for the sake of filling out the paperwork.

[HotI]

i had a squillion ve s in my 1st birth, pretty much whenever i questioned anything or refused an intervention suddenly there was a medicalneed . it was just a method of control and letting me know my place.

this time, nada. i could feel baby coming and i didn't have to push anyway, it just happened the way it was meant to.

[meow]

I've never had a single VE. Good thing no one ever offered one because I would have declined. The birth centre I went to had a policy of first VE 6 hours after arrival. I arrived pretty much pushing and baby was born about 4 hours later.

My homebirth I didn't have any either. Again my body started pushing when it was ready and I felt an uncontrollable urge to go with it so I did.

I never cared to know how dilated I was. When I was pushing and pushing away for eons in my second labour (happened in the first one too) my MW suggested I could check myself to see if I could feel baby's head as I think she was trying to encourage me as I was losing steam and getting frustrated no baby was coming out. But I had no desire to go sticking my fingers inside. My vagina was aching and I didn't want to touch it at all.

[Jennifer13]

And after the VE following birth to check for tearing, if there's ever a next time I'll be discussing options there too! Ouch!! Giving birth was less painful and I only had a small labial tear. I think my vagina is shy and prefers to be left to its own devices.

[Maruschke]

Please excuse the stalker . I was a part of the May belly thread so I've been stalking the two May mumma's who are having HB's. Thinking of you Cricket and Em, I hope your bubbas are here soon, and I can't wait to hear about your beautiful HB's.

xoxo
M

[Eenee]

Thanks Marushke

Still here with baby on the inside lol impatient much! Shingles is all gone but DD has a cold and hoping I don't get it.

On the subject of VE's I never had one either, one of the reasons I'm glad I'm at home cos not pushed into it!

[HotI]

I think my vagina is shy and prefers to be left to its own devices.

like all good vaginas should be.

[Cricket]

like all good vaginas should be.

Uh oh.

Thanks so much Marushke! Not a whole lot happening here right now. Had mild contractions all afternoon/evening yesterday. Poor DH is living on the edge these days. He keeps asking "Are you having contractions? How are you feeling? How's your belly? How's the baby....?" Doing his best to be encouraging and supportive, but I'm starting to feel like a watched pot that won't boil. He's also got hassles with work right now, and issues in all three of the committees that he's involved in for church and the kids' school here, as well as being up to his eyeballs in renovations for a rental house that we just purchased. I can tell the stress is wearing him out - his stomach is really unsettled and he's getting a lot of headaches. Poor guy.
We'll see what the midwife says about this baby this morning. When the baby is born, DH will take a week off of work, and I think it will be good for everyone.

[meow]

And after the VE following birth to check for tearing, if there's ever a next time I'll be discussing options there too! Ouch!! Giving birth was less painful and I only had a small labial tear. I think my vagina is shy and prefers to be left to its own devices.

Yep. I have a lot of trauma still from the stitches I was given after my first birth (2nd degree tear). Intervention free labour so the hospital managed to screw me up AFTER the birth.

So second time around we discussed trying not to tear obviously but also healing without stitches. When my MW tried to check for tearing it lasted about 2 seconds. I was so sore and jumping away so she didn't want to touch me and bring up my trauma. She could see I had a tear that she guessed was 2nd degree and we left it. The next day my secondary MW who visited had a another look for me as I was less sore and she guided me in which bits to pull open so she could look without touching me herself and that was good because I could go at my own pace and it was only external touching rather than poking around inside. She could give me a clear answer that it was a second degree tear on my perineum then and we just left it alone.

[Cricket]

Oh yes, the check for tearing afterwards is a whole other ball game. OUCH! If I can avoid that one, I certainly will!

[meow]

What do you mean by "if"? Really not trying to hassle you, just wondering how you see the decision taken out of your hands.

[Jennifer13]

I think I will asked to be left as well. I had no need for internal checking, so that was all on the outside! I can only imagine how much I'd have complained if there was anything internal or peri tearing involved. Plus, I'll probably have a good idea myself.

For those of you who tore, do you think you can do anything to avoid that next time?

[TeniBear]

So, how does one go about finding an affordable midwife for a homebirth? I've been googling a bit this morning but everything I'm reading is making my heart sink at the prices

And no, this isn't an announcement, I just thought I might as well start looking and saving up just in case I get a BFP soon

[HotI]

i had to go with a great midwife, and then work out the finances later. i am still paying my midwife off (almost done).

I worried too much about being part of the system to go with a medicare funded midwife.

It's hard.

[meow]

For those of you who tore, do you think you can do anything to avoid that next time?

I think you can certainly try, but in my experience I found it was fairly unavoidable.

Second time around I had a water birth, I was in an upright, natural squat, I had a long, slow pushing stage and relaxed and breathed while my son's head crowned through 3 contractions. All great things to prevent tearing... then his shoulder was stuck and he wasn't budging with my pushes so my MW asked me to push really hard with the next contraction (in her head we were doing fancy moves if that didn't work and I'm glad it didn't come to that) and I tore as his shoulder came out. It could be that I tore due to weakened skin from the previous tear, from being coached to push hard or due to the size/position of my son's shoulder. The hard push is the only thing I could have changed but I feel it had its purpose and I'm glad we avoiding me having to move or get out of the pool. Perhaps tearing was just on the cards for me.

I actually found tearing to be a good thing for me, because allowing my body to heal itself was an emotionally healing experience after the trauma I endured from the doctor stitching me first time around. The knowledge of my MWs, the mandatory rest for 3 weeks and discovering the lost art of my body's inner wisdom was a huge plus to my whole experience. I wish I had known and never, ever had stitches the first time around.

[Jennifer13]

Teni, my health fund paid for a fair chunk of my m/w's fee, but it's not cheap health insurance. Most have payment plans.

Meow - hopefully your next baby will be more cooperative!

[PumpkinZulu]

I'm like HotI, finding the perfect midwife and ignoring the cost. We'll make it work, and most are open to payment plans. I'm still paying my doula off at almost 11 months later She is fine with that, she cost almost as much as an IM anyway, but was so worth it. This time we'll most likely be having her again in top of an IM. Like HotI said, a Medicare funded midwife will have a lot more restrictions than one without it, for me, we went through a hospital (aka Medicare) HB program, which was good, but not something I want to do again. Too many policies that didn't gel with me.