homebirth general discussion #9

[Cricket]

Em - how are things at your house? Any relief from the shingles yet? Hope you're doing OK!

[Jennifer13]

Thanks for the article, Hot1. I passed it on to my sister whose ob offered her one at 38 1/2 weeks.

Cricket, I already wonder if my birth was a fluke and I'll probably stress a bit more if there's a next time! This time I lived in a state of faith and blissful ignorance. Just keep reminding yourself not only that you can do it, but you have done it before. And remember that feeling of euphoria when you birth your baby and hold them for the first time. That feeling is worth all the labour! I am always a bit envious of women about to birth, that was the best feeling of my life.

Thinking of you, Em and Cricket. Not long now!

[Cricket]

Just popping in to say hi. Things are very quiet here today. Not a whole lot of BH, and baby is quiet too. (Still moving around, don't worry! Just not as much as other days.) Picked up Ina May's book from the midwives office. Getting into a better head space about labour and birth.

On a slightly different note, does anyone else feel like having a homebirth makes nesting worse? I feel like my house must be "company-ready" at all times, just in case. And I know the midwives aren't "company" and won't be there to check if my house is clean, but I can't help it. I've been cleaning and tidying constantly since 36 weeks or so... Some of it is just the normal pre-baby nesting, I'm sure, but I feel like it's worse because I know people will be coming into my house when this baby comes.

[Eenee]

Hi everyone.

Still here and no sign of baby yet. Still have shingles but it's not too bad. I went over with DD and would like not to do that this time lol.

Cricket: yes I have to have the house clean at all times too. What's the bet I go into labour when it's messy lol trying to get DH to help me keep it clean is hard because he is so untidy.

[Tegam]

Cricket yes I do think it makes it worse. Lol. I guess I'm a little jealous too of the women that stay in a private hospital being waited on hand and foot while their mum cleans their house and looks after their other children. However in reality I was so well/happy/hyper after a birth I change my own bed sheets and put dinner on. We had a new years eve party here two days after dd3 was born. It just seemed normal lol. Happy birthing.

Em! Wish I was closer not long now!

[HotI]

CRicket - yep! and i went to 41 weeks so my house got cleaned over and over... AT the start of labour, i was hanging clothes on the line (at 10pm at night) so the midwife didn't see my basket of wet washing!

[Ambersky]

Dont you love those crazy things we do in labor.. I had a hospy birth with DD1, my waters broke with a gush as i was walking from the en-suite back to the bed... DH went to get the middy and when they came back in to the room i was on my hands and knees mopping up the carpet.. Middy thought it was hilarious!

[Cassius2]

cricket: oh yes! i was super crazy with the cleaning. i had this thing where everything had to be 'birth ready'. i couldnt stand the idea of birthing somewhere cluttered or dirty: which is hard with a toddler, DH, mother, dog and two cats hahahaha. also i was super crazy about the toilet. had to be sparkling at all times. poor DH really got hounded over that one

[Jennifer13]

Ambersky - that is hilarious! You may as well have been at home. DH was on holidays since DD2 was born 4 Jan and my Mum arrived 1 Jan, so I didn't get overly cleaning mad. I still had my cleaner too, in fact, she came the day after DD2 was born while my m/w was there and was shocked that I had given birth the day before right there!

Em, hope shingles are all cleared up soon and then baby arrives.

[Cricket]

Nothing new over here, still... I know, it's early still - not even quite 39 weeks, but my last two babies were born at 38 and 38+2, and I really thought (hoped?) this baby would be here by now too. Thankfully my days are busy enough still that time is not dragging too badly. My primary midwife goes on vacation right after my due date, so I hope I don't go over!

Anyways, just thinking about the whole stretch and sweep thing again, and I came across a little blurb about it in Ina May Gaskin's book, and she counts it as a standard part of the midwifery model of care, as opposed to other methods of induction. She refers to two studies in which labour was successfully started in 50% of the attempts.

Interesting to see the different perspectives on this from two women (Gaskin and LeMay) who are basically in the same "camp". Guess it's one of those things to do your own research on and discuss with your midwife before you decide.

Hope all is well with all the other mums, especially those who are in the final count down with me.

[HotI]

I love Ina May but lots of the birth stories in Ina May's books have quite a few VEs too, more than i am comfortable with.

Guess it's one of those things to do your own research on and discuss with your midwife before you decide.

Think that is the key to homebirths, the relationship between woman and midwife

[Maruschke]

Please excuse the stalker . I was a part of the May belly thread so I've been stalking the two May mumma's who are having HB's. Thinking of you Cricket and Em, I hope your bubbas are here soon, and I can't wait to hear about your beautiful HB's.

xoxo
M

[Eenee]

Thanks Marushke

Still here with baby on the inside lol impatient much! Shingles is all gone but DD has a cold and hoping I don't get it.

On the subject of VE's I never had one either, one of the reasons I'm glad I'm at home cos not pushed into it!

[Jennifer13]

Yeah, I noticed that too, Hot1. I'm not a fan of VEs and I never had one during labour. I think we could both tell about where I was at anyway, give or take. It all happened so quickly once she got here and I even found the Doppler annoying sometimes!

I am personally of the belief that VEs promote infection, particularly if your waters have broken.

[Cricket]

Yep, I think that VE's can definitely be overdone, or "over relied on" if you know what I mean. There is always the risk of infection, along with the possibility of becoming discouraged if the result isn't what you were hoping for, etc. Personally though, I like to have a check once in a while in labour. I've never found them too uncomfortable (maybe I've got especially gentle midwives...?) and I like to have a concrete marker to tell me that I'm really accomplishing something - ie. you were at 4 and now you're at 7, so things are truly happening. My water has generally been broken shortly before pushing, so I wouldn't have too many checks with broken water anyways. And I liked to have the go ahead on pushing too - not that you can do much to stop it. But I've read a number of stories where a woman pushed for an hour, and then they checked and discovered a lip of cervix that had to be moved. I'd rather know beforehand that everything is clear, and I'm all set to push for all I'm worth.
Those are just my personal preferences though - I don't think that VE's should be considered essential for assessing labour. My midwives have done them only at my request, not just for the sake of filling out the paperwork.

[HotI]

i had a squillion ve s in my 1st birth, pretty much whenever i questioned anything or refused an intervention suddenly there was a medicalneed . it was just a method of control and letting me know my place.

this time, nada. i could feel baby coming and i didn't have to push anyway, it just happened the way it was meant to.

[meow]

I've never had a single VE. Good thing no one ever offered one because I would have declined. The birth centre I went to had a policy of first VE 6 hours after arrival. I arrived pretty much pushing and baby was born about 4 hours later.

My homebirth I didn't have any either. Again my body started pushing when it was ready and I felt an uncontrollable urge to go with it so I did.

I never cared to know how dilated I was. When I was pushing and pushing away for eons in my second labour (happened in the first one too) my MW suggested I could check myself to see if I could feel baby's head as I think she was trying to encourage me as I was losing steam and getting frustrated no baby was coming out. But I had no desire to go sticking my fingers inside. My vagina was aching and I didn't want to touch it at all.

[Jennifer13]

And after the VE following birth to check for tearing, if there's ever a next time I'll be discussing options there too! Ouch!! Giving birth was less painful and I only had a small labial tear. I think my vagina is shy and prefers to be left to its own devices.