So...I'm having a homebirth...need some support!

[jackrose]

I am having a VBAC homebirth in May, to avoid all of the debacle that went with my hospital birth last time and I am so excited too. I think the more you read the more you will be excited, it is a wonderful journey to be on and by the sounds of it, much better than what you would be going through if you were having to go down the hospital route again.

WRT your desire to have postnatal support, yes, the midwife is definitely there for that. (I have had 2 appointments with my Midwife so far, both at home and both going for over an hour as we chatted though everything! - So much more than I ever got at the hospital) You may want to also consider getting a doula for more of that support. I am looking for one at the moment to work with my DH, friend and midwife. Many hands make light work . A doula is a great support for you before during and after the birth and you may really like knowing you have all that back up.

but are there questions that i should be asking? i mean, people do it with OBs so are there any really important 'must have' questions that you guys recommend? So far, i will want to know that the IM can do back up bookings for a hospy (just for peace of mind as DD had breathing issues in the post birth hours), and for me, if she/he has experience in dealing with women with birth trauma. But is there like an 'essentials list'? or things that you wish you had of asked?

There are some good questions to ask listed in the home birth sections of great birth reference books like "The thinking woman's guide to a better birth" (Henci Goer) - I really really recommend this one I loved it - it helped my understand so much of what went wrong for me last time and made me excited about this birth and all the things which are lined up to go right this time. Also, Ina May's guide to childbirth has a list of questions such as

• Do you maintain statistics from your practice? May I see them?
• What is your plan if you cannot attend?
• What methods do you suggest to alleviate pain?
• What hospital do you transport to if necessary, and what is your relationship like with them?
• How often do you make postpartum visits?
• So you participate in regular peer review?

And one of my own, What suggestions/solutions do you have for a labour that has stalled?

I am happy to post more of them if you are interested, but otherwise, how exciting and good luck!!!

[Lolli]

Hi cassius- YAY!! I'm sos happy for you . i think you've read my birth stories- that's how different a home and hospital birth can be (even an unplanned home one- imagine how good it would have been had it been planned!). And I promise it makes all the difference after the birth, having agood one and feeling like you have a say in what is going on.

I'm excited for you, and super proud of you for choosing a hb. I hope it is a truly awesome expereince

[~Stoked~]

Jackrose mentioned "Ina May's Guide to Childbirth"..... If you haven't already I suggest you read it! I read it, honestly, about 20 times during my pregnancy and it helped me so so so much!
Also i forgot to say that on the final visit my midwife gave me my birth notes.. it is like a diary! Everything that happened during the labour is written down (with times), even things that were said! It is so good to have this as it is so easy to forget what happened. I cried when i read mine.. it is so beautiful. Ask your midwife if they do this too.
x x x x

[sarah.forbes]

I can also recommend 'Ina May Gaskin's Guide to Childbirth' as well as Shiela Kitzinger's 'Birth Your Way'. Both of these books really helped me learn a lot about the mechanics of birth, and how to prepare my mind and body the best way possible. I also really enjoyed watching the film 'Orgasmic Birth' (strange title, great film). 'Birth Your Way' has a list of questions to ask a potential midwife that you might be interviewing.

My best advice is to meet a few midwives and find one who makes you feel very comfortable, both in their approach to your medical care, and also in the way you relate to that person. It is important to find someone who can nurture you through the process of your pregnancy, labour, birth and afterwards.

Best of luck! And enjoy!

[Arcadia]

Woo hoo! How did I miss this thread? All the advice is awesome...just coming in to say I am here if you have any questions or want to chat.

I second Rhea's course. Both my dh and sister did it with me and it made sure we were all on the same page. It also taught me not to be afraid of my body...trust in the process and embrace the pain.

It's an amazing journey and one I want to repeat again and again! :hug

[Cassius2]

Hi girls!

i have some updates (ie progress lol!). FINALLY managed to find a midwife that looks like 'the one'! i didnt realise how tricky it could be to find the perfect one that suits our needs on such a holistic level IYKWIM.

Anna: i am hoping to get to the maternity coalitions 'movie night' on the 18th of march where rhea is giving a talk...i look forward to it!

i will be going to a calmbirth class that is run by a good friend (and my second midwife for the birth!). we have a strong connection and thankfully she knows my story from last time and all the trauma that was involved so i feel comfortable that she will be able to guide both myself and DH through this process of healing...

i am wanting to have a waterbirth and was wondering if you guys know where to hire from? i know that my midwife will have options, but i though to also ask you wise women/men if you know of any secret squirrel places available here in melb!

feeling so happy to be out of the hospital system and away from midwives in uniform lol!

[jackrose]

Yay! So glad you have a midwife! Sounds fantastic! And Rhea will absolutely impress.

I just did one of Di Diddle's childbirth classes, even though I was the only 2nd time mum there it was fantastic, informative and inspiring. Rhea did a section of the course and I was blown away by her knowledge, confidence, passion and strength. She is absolutely the sort of person you want around you when planning a birth. (Having said that Di was pretty fantastic too!)

If you are still considering a debrief about the last birth, you should make an appointment to see Rhea. I can imagine it would be very beneficial and very cleansing. I am talking with my DH about going to see her, I still feel there may be some things about the last birth I need to go through regarding his role and his involvement... I get the impression it will be very healing and very important.

I hope you enjoy the film night!