Totally understand you being upset arimeh. I struggled for the first 3 months, and thought id do extended feeding into tandem feeding. But 2 months into pg ds decided he didn't want boobie anymore. He was 20 months.

And it makes me feel horrible. Maybe I should have kept feeding on demand, even after bouts of mastitis. Maybe I never should have given him cows milk. I don't know. But he decided this on his own, and I guess its my job to let it go. My milk just wasn't fast enough. I just miss the cuddles.

Occasionally when he's having q bottle I'll pick him up and cradle him whilst he drinks. Reminds me how much I miss bf. But I love when we look deeply into each others eyes.

Sorry for the hijack. Thought is let you know I also know how it feels. Hugs.