I remember when i was pregnant with my first, i thought there was a choice b/w breastfeeding or bottle feeding - i didnt realise some women just couldnt breastfeed for whatever reason. In my preparation for DD#1 i never bought a bottle, sterlizer, bottle warmer etc. I was so determined to breastfeed nothing was going to change my mind.
I had a pretty rough labour with DD#1. She came out face up (tummy up), and i tore heavily. I had retained placenta, and lost massive lots of blood. I never got to feed DD, they whisked me away to theatre for removal of placenta - DH was literally left standing holding the baby.
I was gone for quite a few hours. I found out later my DH was with my DD and my mum. DD was hungry/distressed/needing her mummy, and i wasnt there. The midwives were pushing DH to give DD a bottle. He refused, he knew how much i wanted to breastfeed. Another hour passed and they asked DH if he wanted to give DD some formula from a spoon, that way she's not getting used to the bottle, just gives her something to settle her down. Again he refused. I finally returned from theatre. I was drowsy, but so excited to see my little girl and my DH. I remember DH literally threw her at me, and said 'here, she needs some breastmilk' - keeping in mind 4 hours had passed, i hadnt even held her yet, let alone breastfed before. But she latched on perfectly - neither of us (DD or me) moved till 8am the next morning (later found out not something hossi was allowed to do - let mums sleep with newborns). Whilst i had a difficult path ahead of me (2 x blood transfusions, very weak etc), DD breastfed so perfectly. She really was the one that kept me going in those first 6 weeks. I was, and still am so, so grateful for the experience of being able to breastfeed. I know (gulp) there will come a day, when that part of my life is no longer. Thus the reason i really do treasure every moment feed time comes along. Its bloody fantastic !!!!




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That time I was hospitalised because over 2 thirds of the breast was inflamed and my temp was so high... I couldn't keep down any food or fluids and just about collapsed in the drs waiting room...
I no longer dread feeds, instead looking forward to putting my feet up and watching an episode of my favourite series on dvd - just the right length for most feeds.
We finally stopped feeding when I was 10 weeks pg and Jacob self weaned.. I am so proud for making it to 21 months.

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