Breastfeeding until 8

[onthefly]

Yeah, that's true Delph. But those thumbs, blankies etc are necessary to the child, right? So how do you decide, that's it, you need to stop this now? I don't know the answer - maybe I'll have to figure it out one day

[delphmoon]

If the 8 year old is still breastfeeding for comfort purposes I think we have to think how it impacts on the child. Will the child be teased? will the child develop emotionally? Will the child still complete milestones in his/her early social/emotional development when the child is relying on the booby for comfort instead of looking to the outside world also eg talking, using and sharing expression, learning conflict managment skills, problem solving

Breastfeeding is a beautiful thing, a wonderful experience. An experience for mum and baby, but maybe not mum and pre teen. Just coming from a developmental perspective I think its an issue I think you would decide to stop something when it becomes an issue for your child..

It is very difficult because yes- culturally it is absolutly acceptable to breastfeed for long periods of time. It really does challenge ones beliefs when thinking about things such as this. I just asked DH what he thought about it and he said it sounds more like mums having a hard time letting go of her child...hmmm, interesting...

Just my own personal opinion though

[Traveller]

I don't see how breastfeeding at 8 would stop a child from developing emotionally. Me eldest is 6 and in two years time I really think I will still want him to come to me for comfort and not have to deal with everything on his own. My almost 5 year old still has a blanket and sucks his thumb. But honestly he is the most confident wee man you have ever seen. Perhaps because he has his safe place to go to every night, he feels braver during the day Perhaps this child is the same.

Personally I chose to stop breastfeeding at an earlier age. It was my choice, and if I had not stopped I think the twins would still be feeding now at almost 3. As a PP said, in many countries not breastfeeding until 5 or older would be the strange choice. If this child and mother are happy and content then fair play to them. The child will be unable to feed soon enough as their mouth changes (between 7 and 9 they lose the ability to suckle - natures intended weaning age perhaps?), I very much doubt this will be an issue in their teenage years.

[Livinthedream]

I saw the whole doco. It was very interesting.
TBH, though, the 8 year old was a pretty "immature" type of 8 year old. She definatly projected as the baby of the family. What was interesting, was that her older sister (who self weaned at 5) was quite wistful about it and was saying she almost wished she still fed as she was jelous of the time that the mother and 8 year old had together.
You could tell in the doco though, that the 8 yr old took the p*ss as her mum had to be quite firm with her when she asked to feed, and had to state quite frimly, "no buggarising around, you drink and then youre done"
I dunno, I thought the 8 year old was playing the baby and I felt sorry for the big sis who seemed left out.
JMO

[delphmoon]

I don't see how breastfeeding at 8 would stop a child from developing emotionally. Me eldest is 6 and in two years time I really think I will still want him to come to me for comfort and not have to deal with everything on his own. My almost 5 year old still has a blanket and sucks his thumb. But honestly he is the most confident wee man you have ever seen. Perhaps because he has his safe place to go to every night, he feels braver during the day Perhaps this child is the same.

Personally I chose to stop breastfeeding at an earlier age. It was my choice, and if I had not stopped I think the twins would still be feeding now at almost 3. As a PP said, in many countries not breastfeeding until 5 or older would be the strange choice. If this child and mother are happy and content then fair play to them. The child will be unable to feed soon enough as their mouth changes (between 7 and 9 they lose the ability to suckle - natures intended weaning age perhaps?), I very much doubt this will be an issue in their teenage years.

I agree that comfort toys like a blanket, dummy, toy whatever are acceptable- its a natural progression in relation to a child obtaining comfort. Most go from breast to something like that (toys, dummy etc). That is my whole point about continuing to breatsfeed til such a late age- how does a cild learn to seek comfort in other ways if the child sees the breast as the only form of comfort?
As living thedream pointed out- this child has a lack of maturity- thats what I mean in relation to the impact on emotional and social development. What will the child do at school? will the child stop going out with friends because it time for a breastfed?

[Traveller]

But why does breastfeeding have to come at the expense of other forms of comfort? Why is a blanket ok, but not a breast? They are both relying on something that they could be teased about if their friends knew.

Also, lets remember the child in question is 8. I would imagine both mother and child could miss a feed without it impacting negativly in any way on supply. I know this was true of my twins at 18 months. If feeding is only for comfort then it will happen when the child needs it which will be most likely at bedtime. I fail to see why this would stop the child socialising with others, or going to school if that is what the parents choose to do. One of my good friends still breastfeeds her 5yo, yet he manages to go to school and none of his friends know, or care, that he still gets milk from his mum. Why would they even ask?

I guess I just don't see why anyone would care if one child is a bit emotionally immature and still wants to breastfeed. All children grow up eventually, why rush this child if they are not ready?

[delphmoon]

You bring up some interesting points. I just feel 8 years old is too old. In this doco the girl isn't been fed at bedtime- its whenever...I just don't feel its in the best interest of the child. I love bfing my daughter but I won't be doing it when shes 8 I can assure you of that. She can have a mummy cuddle at night to soothe her if need be, or a teddy, but not a boob! Thats just my opinion

[onthefly]

I've been wondering about this. Are blankies etc really progressions from teh breast/mummy or are they substitutes? if kids get to choose their own weaning time, do they still use these things?
Anyway, I don't think there's a right or wrong here - just whatever's right for a particular mother/child unit.
I don't know if I'd breastfeed for so long - haven't been there yet. But 5 years ago I would have been apalled at the idea of breastfeeding a 2 year old, and now I've done that

[berrme]

But why does breastfeeding have to come at the expense of other forms of comfort? Why is a blanket ok, but not a breast? They are both relying on something that they could be teased about if their friends knew.

Also, lets remember the child in question is 8. I would imagine both mother and child could miss a feed without it impacting negativly in any way on supply. I know this was true of my twins at 18 months. If feeding is only for comfort then it will happen when the child needs it which will be most likely at bedtime. I fail to see why this would stop the child socialising with others, or going to school if that is what the parents choose to do. One of my good friends still breastfeeds her 5yo, yet he manages to go to school and none of his friends know, or care, that he still gets milk from his mum. Why would they even ask?

I don't see why breastfeeding should be replaced by something else. I didn't give my children blankets or toys to cart around constantly just because they wouldn't be on the boob anymore. I don't think having weened my children and stopping ds1 having a dummy by the time he was 2 makes me harsh. I don't think that an 8 yo should have a blankie either for that matter. Maybe I am harsh?

Of course a 5 year old won't be asking other kids at school if they BF, it isn't something you expect kids that age to do. However, I would question why do the 5yo's friends do not know? Children talk... does he think it is something he should not mention at school?

[Shanti]

All children grow up eventually, why rush this child if they are not ready?

Exactly right

Like Marcellus said, i believe dummies/blankies etc other forms of comfort besides boobs, are just substitutes. Nature intended boobs for sucking/comfort, not just for milk.

Delphmoon - I too can't see myself feeding an 8yr old child however I can completely understand this mother doing so. It makes perfect sense to me. If she is willing to give this to her child at the age of 8, I think it's wonderful.....there is absolutely no harm in it whatsoever....the child is still going to develop etc....
Some of the comments you make in here could be compared to as if someone said to you "isn't your child a bit too old for cuddles?" who are they to dictate or even comment on that to you?
And the comment your DH said....in regards to that, you can't FORCE a child to BF. That child is doing it because she wants to.

[delphmoon]

And the sentance prior to the sentance you quoted...

It is very difficult because yes- culturally it is absolutly acceptable to breastfeed for long periods of time. It really does challenge ones beliefs when thinking about things such as this. I just asked DH what he thought about it and he said it sounds more like mums having a hard time letting go of her child...hmmm, interesting...

Just my own personal opinion though

I agree with what you have said otherwise

[Shanti]

it sounds more like mums having a hard time letting go of her child...hmmm, interesting...

Delphmoon - everyone is entitled to their opinion on it, and it's interesting hearing all sides of opinions. It was just this comment that reminded me that there is no way a mother can hang onto breastfeeding her child if that child doesn't also want it. So even if a mother is having a hard time letting go of her child, at the end of the day, that child will only stay if she wants it. That's all that I was implying by my post. So in saying that, no you can't force a child to BF. That is where that came from. GWIM?
It is what it is. A mother breastfeeding her child for whatever reasons, their reasons alone.

[toomanyshoes]

there is no way a mother can hang onto breastfeeding her child if that child doesn't also want it. So even if a mother is having a hard time letting go of her child, at the end of the day, that child will only stay if she wants to

I actually disagree with this, now I'm not saying this is the case in this story but I do believe an older child could be "talked into" continuing to BF or anything else for that matter. An impressionable young child is going to listen to their mother. Children are made to do things they don't want to do quite often.

Once again I'm not in anyway saying this is the case in this story but I could imagine it happening in some circumstances.