Breastfeeding until 8

[Liz]

well, they are just at the other end of the spectrum really aren't they. We have people that only breastfeed for one day, and others that feed for 8 years. You'll probably find that majority of children self wean around the age of 3, so 8 year olds would be few & far between.

The age of 8 does start to enter the realms of unusual for me... and I certainly wouldn't feed that long. But I don't really see any harm in it. The only harm that would come from it would be the treatment from other people.

ETA: I agree... I didn't give up my spicy foods at all! I did hold off alcohol.. but didn't really want it anyway. But yeah... it's easy to slip in a good glass of wine.. especially when the babies are older and feeding isn't as frequent.

[miss.cinders]

I don't really see the problem - if they're all happy, then it's all good... It's kinda harsh to tell a young child they can't have a certain kind of comforting anymore, no? We all grow up and move on at our own pace. Some kids suck their thumbs well into primary school (I know a certain young lady who had to be weaned from her thumb at the cusp of high school).
I guess I just don't see the harm.

I 100% agree. Afew years ago I wouldn't have. But some amazing women I have the privildge to know online have made me see alot of things differently in the past 5 years.

[Aligater]

I realy wanted to BF till 2 both times only made it till 7 weeks 1st time due to attachment problems and mastitis (3 times is no joke) 2nd time I got to 9 months but DD2s health ended up being more important and the intro of food meant she is coeliac and has severe lactose intolerance with it even to breast milk. But I think 8 years is a bit much

[Nelle]

It all seems like culturally we are a bit weirded out, but it's not my place to tell someone what their culture should be if it's not harming anyone. As for teasing, I guess I'd not be excluding a behaviour on the basis that my child might get teased.

[Phteven]

In Mongolia we'd be the wierdos....

[helle]

...I was just trying to lighten the mood of the same old debate *slinks out from the room*

[Maruschke]

I think it is highly unusual that both children didn't self wean until 5 (or 8 and still going) and I wonder if the mother encouraged continuation of BF?

Either way, what she does with her child is of no concern for me, I did however love hearing about it from the child's perspective. If it gives her comfort and isn't causing any long term issues, I see no harm in it.

[Shanti]

I agree that breastfeeding isn't just about milk- it is about comfort, reassurance and that 'specialness' between mum and baby.

I do think that by the age of 8 though, a child needs to be taught new ways of finding that comfort, that 'specialness' with mum. I don't think continuing to breastfeed an 8 year old to give comfort is the answer IYGWIM.

Although I can see where you are coming from and I personally, know that I don't want to be BF a child of that age either, at the end of the day, who are we to judge that Mother and child?? It's none of our business really what others do if it doesn't impact on us directly, there is no harm. kwim?

[onthefly]

I think it's a bit hard to judge what is strange or weird when we as a culture tend to force or encourage very early weaning. What if we all bf'd freely and let our kids decide and our modern lifestyles didn't get in the way, and so on... maybe it wouldn't be at all unusual for kids to wean at 5+.
I just don't see how there can be a line in the sand where this side is ok, and this side is not, you know?

[mrsmac]

Can you imagine what some cultures say about those people who FF from a young age- maybe in Mongolia there are threads about how weird that is LOL

[Shanti]

I think it's a bit hard to judge what is strange or weird when we as a culture tend to force or encourage very early weaning. What if we all bf'd freely and let our kids decide and our modern lifestyles didn't get in the way, and so on... maybe it wouldn't be at all unusual for kids to wean at 5+.
I just don't see how there can be a line in the sand where this side is ok, and this side is not, you know?

Well said Marcellus you always have a better way of saying things than I do!!

[delphmoon]

I agree with Delphmoon.

On a side note, after 8 years wouldn't you just be gagging for a good glass of wine and a really spicy curry XD

I totally agree LOL

I don't really see the problem - if they're all happy, then it's all good... It's kinda harsh to tell a young child they can't have a certain kind of comforting anymore, no? We all grow up and move on at our own pace. Some kids suck their thumbs well into primary school (I know a certain young lady who had to be weaned from her thumb at the cusp of high school).
I guess I just don't see the harm.

I don't see any harm either I just personally don't see it as being necessary. If an 8 year old child is using bfing as a form of comfort (because it certainly wouldn't be for nutritional purposes) it kind of interferes with development don't you think- both social and emotional development? Thumb sucking, blankets, and other special items are weaned over time- just like breastfeeding.

[onthefly]

Yeah, that's true Delph. But those thumbs, blankies etc are necessary to the child, right? So how do you decide, that's it, you need to stop this now? I don't know the answer - maybe I'll have to figure it out one day

[delphmoon]

If the 8 year old is still breastfeeding for comfort purposes I think we have to think how it impacts on the child. Will the child be teased? will the child develop emotionally? Will the child still complete milestones in his/her early social/emotional development when the child is relying on the booby for comfort instead of looking to the outside world also eg talking, using and sharing expression, learning conflict managment skills, problem solving

Breastfeeding is a beautiful thing, a wonderful experience. An experience for mum and baby, but maybe not mum and pre teen. Just coming from a developmental perspective I think its an issue I think you would decide to stop something when it becomes an issue for your child..

It is very difficult because yes- culturally it is absolutly acceptable to breastfeed for long periods of time. It really does challenge ones beliefs when thinking about things such as this. I just asked DH what he thought about it and he said it sounds more like mums having a hard time letting go of her child...hmmm, interesting...

Just my own personal opinion though

[Traveller]

I don't see how breastfeeding at 8 would stop a child from developing emotionally. Me eldest is 6 and in two years time I really think I will still want him to come to me for comfort and not have to deal with everything on his own. My almost 5 year old still has a blanket and sucks his thumb. But honestly he is the most confident wee man you have ever seen. Perhaps because he has his safe place to go to every night, he feels braver during the day Perhaps this child is the same.

Personally I chose to stop breastfeeding at an earlier age. It was my choice, and if I had not stopped I think the twins would still be feeding now at almost 3. As a PP said, in many countries not breastfeeding until 5 or older would be the strange choice. If this child and mother are happy and content then fair play to them. The child will be unable to feed soon enough as their mouth changes (between 7 and 9 they lose the ability to suckle - natures intended weaning age perhaps?), I very much doubt this will be an issue in their teenage years.

[Livinthedream]

I saw the whole doco. It was very interesting.
TBH, though, the 8 year old was a pretty "immature" type of 8 year old. She definatly projected as the baby of the family. What was interesting, was that her older sister (who self weaned at 5) was quite wistful about it and was saying she almost wished she still fed as she was jelous of the time that the mother and 8 year old had together.
You could tell in the doco though, that the 8 yr old took the p*ss as her mum had to be quite firm with her when she asked to feed, and had to state quite frimly, "no buggarising around, you drink and then youre done"
I dunno, I thought the 8 year old was playing the baby and I felt sorry for the big sis who seemed left out.
JMO

[delphmoon]

I don't see how breastfeeding at 8 would stop a child from developing emotionally. Me eldest is 6 and in two years time I really think I will still want him to come to me for comfort and not have to deal with everything on his own. My almost 5 year old still has a blanket and sucks his thumb. But honestly he is the most confident wee man you have ever seen. Perhaps because he has his safe place to go to every night, he feels braver during the day Perhaps this child is the same.

Personally I chose to stop breastfeeding at an earlier age. It was my choice, and if I had not stopped I think the twins would still be feeding now at almost 3. As a PP said, in many countries not breastfeeding until 5 or older would be the strange choice. If this child and mother are happy and content then fair play to them. The child will be unable to feed soon enough as their mouth changes (between 7 and 9 they lose the ability to suckle - natures intended weaning age perhaps?), I very much doubt this will be an issue in their teenage years.

I agree that comfort toys like a blanket, dummy, toy whatever are acceptable- its a natural progression in relation to a child obtaining comfort. Most go from breast to something like that (toys, dummy etc). That is my whole point about continuing to breatsfeed til such a late age- how does a cild learn to seek comfort in other ways if the child sees the breast as the only form of comfort?
As living thedream pointed out- this child has a lack of maturity- thats what I mean in relation to the impact on emotional and social development. What will the child do at school? will the child stop going out with friends because it time for a breastfed?

[Traveller]

But why does breastfeeding have to come at the expense of other forms of comfort? Why is a blanket ok, but not a breast? They are both relying on something that they could be teased about if their friends knew.

Also, lets remember the child in question is 8. I would imagine both mother and child could miss a feed without it impacting negativly in any way on supply. I know this was true of my twins at 18 months. If feeding is only for comfort then it will happen when the child needs it which will be most likely at bedtime. I fail to see why this would stop the child socialising with others, or going to school if that is what the parents choose to do. One of my good friends still breastfeeds her 5yo, yet he manages to go to school and none of his friends know, or care, that he still gets milk from his mum. Why would they even ask?

I guess I just don't see why anyone would care if one child is a bit emotionally immature and still wants to breastfeed. All children grow up eventually, why rush this child if they are not ready?