Ok, like the others have said, I don't think there are any 'SHOULD's' or 'SHOULD NOT's' that you should be worrying about right now. It's a difficult time when they start childcare and a big adjustment for both of you. I think it is great that you have been going in to feed her during the day and if you can keep it up, fantastic, but if you can't, don't beat yourself up either.

My DS also started childcare at 11 months, but it was 1 or 2 days a week to begin with. Like you we did BLS (which was hit and miss) and pretty much did demand feeding (but it was more a case of I offered and he took it most of the time). At this stage he was having 4 feeds a day - when he woke up in the morning, before morning and afternoon nap and before bed. I seperated the BF and food at around the 10 month mark from memory and did see a noticeable difference in the amount of food he would eat.

When he started CC I sent along EBM, but he wouldn't take it. But he did eat well there. I wasn't able to come along and BF him, so it was a case of take the EBM or go without. He ended up going without, but would still have a feed in the morning when he woke, when I picked him up and then before bed at night. On the days he was home with me he fed as per normal. But he also ate a lot of food while he was there to compensate.

Eventually he dropped down to one nap a day, so we went to 3 BF's. Then at some stage he stopped having a feed before his nap and only had the morning and evening ones. We eventually weaned at 22 months.

I guess the point I'm trying to make is don't stress too much about what you should or shouldn't be doing. I found it much easier to go with the flow and adapt as necessary. And i think the best thing to remember at this stage is that she won't starve herself.