Hi,

The hardest decisions to accept, in many cases, are the ones we feel were imposed on us, and are contrary to our feelings. When you have persevered so long and with such comittment, it can really be a bitter pill to swallow when it seems breastfeeding doesn't work out. If you do go on to wean, you will be able to look back on how well you were able to feed your little one. Breastfeeding isn't a pass/fail situation. Everything you have been able to give her has been important to you and your little one. Remember that.
But, I was wondering....how long have you been soley breastfeeding your little one (since you said she wouldn't take the bottle) What have her weight gains been like? Some 'wired" little individuals never come off the breast looking sleepy and "drunk" but do still get adequate milk - they just need some more "advanced" settling techniques to get them to sleep.
Are you being treated for your PND? Treatments these days are compatible with breastfeeding, and may allow you to cope better with your baby, and the challenges of breastfeeding.
Have you explored with your medical advisors the idea of using other drug therapies to increase your milk supply. While there are rarely side effects from using maxalon, some mums do report the symptoms you are describing, but find their are other drugs that help their milk supply but don't so readily cross the brain/blood barrier, causing the tired symptoms.
As I said, breastfeeding is not "all or nothing" it's not a competition; it's about you being able to nurture your baby in the way that works best for you. Many mothers work out for themseves a routine which involves breastfeeding, but, say, for the last feed of the night they give their baby a bottle of formula. This can mean that the mother can be more confident that her baby is getting enough milk, and that she will get a good night's sleep. Many mothers go on with breastfeeding for a long, long time this way.
good luck with whatever you decide.
Let us know what you are feeling - the great thing about Belly Belly is it is always a fafe place for venting, if nothing else