Wow, ummm I could write forever darl. This might be really rambled. I might break it don into sections.

NB: My flipping W key is being retardo so excuse the constant errors

Relationships.

The unquestionably best thing about having had a child is that my mother seems to have finally let me 'move out'. I left home when I was 17 to go to university but I have alays felt like she is still controlling me and dictating the rules in my life. I always felt that I needed to continue to seek her approval, and although she made me move on campus I was still, in her eyes, too immature and irresponsible to look after myself.
I was quite independent and because of her overbearing nature we didn't speak for quite a few months in my first year, to the point she threatened to submit a missing persons report to the police if I didn't contact her. Even in the weeks before I found out I was pregnant she was trying to dictate where I should work or what I should study.
Because we were pregnant at the same time and due only two weeks apart we became really close, and after going from speaking to her once a fortnight, we spoke at least once daily. Anyway, things were good until she 'forced' us to move closer to her and then after I had my DS I became really resentful because I was isolated and miserable, and all the help I had been promised had disappeared. She was also very weary of my DF constantly trying to convince me to be prepared for him to leave.
Only in the last two months have I become more assertive and finally encouraged her to see that I am an adult and that I do make my own decisions responsibly.

Like you, it has been easy to see who our real friends are... and moving 800kms away will only do that even more. I find that I am less tolerable towards my friends attitudes and their college lifestyle now that I don't have a reason to accept their behaviours. The friends that have stayed around and been worthwhile supports are those that have actually done some research about the practicality of parenting and don't invite us last minute to the movies, or to go on a road trip or go clubbing ...

My relationships and ability to communicate with strangers has worsened because I am constantly aare of the stigma surrounding young parents and therefor have really climbed into a deeeep shell when it comes to not caring. This is slowly improving though.

Financial Matters

I am so much more responsible with money now. I am still shocking at saving but that is because we always seem to need something. I have friends who think we are so much better off than them because we get 4x as much money a fortnight, but they seriously don't understand the cost of living in a real house, as a couple, instead of in a sharehouse. And how much electricity costs to pay on your own, and transport to work, and eating properly.
I could write a book on the things childless college kids have no about.

As a person

I am, currently at least, undeniably worse off.

I was a young woman that desperately longed for children, and had no other career ambition. I was happy and free-spirited and self-conscious was not a state of mind that existed in my vocabulary.

Having a baby has destroyed me. I am not loud or happy or loving and I just don't want a baby. But at least I am now recognising that the reason I feel like this is because i have PND. However, because I am so worried about what people think of young mums, I am struggling to make new friends, struggling to communicate with other mothers, I am terrified of visiting medical professionals because someone always seems to have something inappropriate to say. I am always feeling like an awful mother if I don't live up to my expectations, because in a twisted way I feel that my expectations are the only thing that shows people that hey, young mums aren't terrible.

My pregnancy, labour and birth journey has given me the ambition to study again. It has given me the want to have a career to provide for my child. Because I want a stable family home and I want to be a parent that can contribute financially and knowledgably to that. That is one thing that has changed with me.

Miscellaneous

I am thankful that having a baby finally made my friends realise that I was over partying and drinking so often. Sure it's still fun and it's the only way half of them can still connect with me, but at least they realise that I want something more.

I am thankful for the change it brough about in my partner. He has become so loving and compassionate and I have never seen him show so much affection before. He truly makes my heart flutter every day. It seems unreasonable but this child brought us together. And unplanned pregnancy and a lot of fighting for each other has certainly had its upsides.


Anyway, I don't know if this is hat you ere looking for but i should stop because i have just gone on and on and on...