Hey.
I had my first child when I was 26 and tried different mums groups and didnt feel I fitted in. Most woman were older - well into their 30`s and unfortunatly with that there was a fair amount of snobbiness. There were a few 'young mums' that I met, but with hanging out with them it became quickly apparent that I was 'older', in a different life stage to them, even though we were all having babies at the same time. So I didnt really have any group to fit in with particulary.
Now at 32 I am having #2 and figure that there must be more woman my age having babies this time, but Im not sure... havent met any yet! Even picking up DS from school today I looked around the playground at the other parents and realised that most of them were older than me (again/still ).
Its more about finding compatable friendships rather than age isnt it?!
Hope you find other mums to get along with and dont feel 'boxed' this time. I think finding people at the same life stage is often tricker than it should be!
yes Salsa it is about finding women in the right 'stage' of life as you not so much age, its just getting the other women to see that! like the older women. We are all the same mental age all have mortgages, husbands and children. but they can't see past the fact that im almost 10years younger than them.
I dont find it so much of an age thing all the time. I would class someone as a young mum if they were under 25 (usually when your under 25 is when you get the dirty looks). I went to TAFE with a 37 yr old and i was 18 and we were great friends, she had a daughter the same age as mine so it worked out great, she was single/seperated and didnt act so much like a 37 yr old, honestly when she told me her age i was shocked, i thought she was more like 27. hehe
It's all about finding someone who has things is common with you and not necessarily the same age although i admit she is my only friend who isnt under 25.
Yes Smoz, I totally get that - the woman I met when I was having DS who were already in their 30`s were not that uncommon to me in the sense that I was married, had a mortgage, having child, professional partner, I had traveled and lived o/s, but they didnt give it a chance to get to know me and find that stuff out. They made judgmental assumptions and I ended up thinking I was better off not bothering making anymore effort with them. It was hard going and fustrating and lonely at the time.
I did end up making a good friend, who was a few years older than me and had a baby at the same time. And her friends who were older also, were open to me, I suppose because I already knew her.
She is still a very good friend, and I love that we have similar interests and boys the same age.
....None of this making friends business was helped by the fact that people thought I looked younger than I was too!!!
I hope 21 is still a young mum!! Or else im getting old....
I had my 1st at 17 and was DEFINATELY a young mum then... was often looked down upon etc. but im 21 now and had my 2nd at 20, and although i dont feel AS young... i dont feel old either! hopefully im still considered a young mum! coz i dont think i would fit in anywhere else
).
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