Yeah there is definitely a stereo class that pops into people's head when you say young parents. Especially young single mums. Which is really sad to think people judge so easy. I myself am a single father to my son who turns 3 in a couple of weeks. It?s been just me and him since his mother and I separated when he was 2 weeks old. She isn't a part of his life and we haven't seen or heard from her in 2 years. But I think being a young single father I don't get looked down upon as much as young single mothers. Which makes no sense to me at all?
I was only 18 when my son was born and was a huge change in my life. Definitely had to mature quickly and everything soon revolved around being a father and not the normal things guys are doing at my age, like clubbing and drinking every weekend. And when his mother and I separated when he was only 2 weeks old and left and moved to a place over an hour away from us. That was definitely a huge challenge. Thinking back now I'm not sure how I did it all. As before my son was born I hadn't even really held a baby before let alone looked after one. Plus I was now living on my own in my house, so my parents weren't there for back up. (But they did live close by which was good for me.)Things actually went really smoothly. I was very lucky to have a son, that was as perfect as a baby could be, never got sick, always feed well and was sleeping through the night at a young age.
But what I found very strange about it all was the lack of support from the hospital or support workers. When my ex partner was pregnant, she was seeing a support worker at the hospital as they her midwife seen early warning signs she may not cope, which turned out to be right in the end... But after we separated, she moved away and I didn't hear anything from the hospital about them offering any support or advice for me. After all, I was only an 18 year old male with a 2 week old baby on my own. I would have thought they might have been keen to offer help. But they didn't. I did have the usual maternity nurse visits but that was about it. She suggested that I joined a young mums group that was near by where I lived. So I went there to inquire about joining and was told I was unable to join as I was a male. So I looked into joining a fathers group, but unfortunately there where none.
So I just gave up on the idea. I wasn't in need of desperate help or advice or anything. Just after a friendly ideas and a nice conversation. I was one of the lucky ones as I said, things went really well for me and being a parent just seemed to suit me. But it makes me think about the people out there that might not have had it that good, and really needed the extra support. I just hope they found it, as it seems you really need to go out there and really search for it. It's not something that?s just offered, which I think it should be. Maybe handing out packs of information solely about support available before leaving the hospital.
There are so many bad stories we all hear about young parents. I think more needs to go into the education and support to try reduce these acts from happening... As maybe if it was another guy instead of me in my same situation, that could have been turned out completely different.
Lucy in the sky with diamonds.
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