Younger Couples Chat ~ December 2007 #2

Sally- must be the hormones but i'm having a cry after reading yur post... (such a sook ATM)

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BUT they didn't "feel the pain" of seeing their newborn be resuscitated and then watching every single day their little bub was in hospital struggling to survive.

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My heart breaks reading this.... I think you did an amazing job and shouldnt let anyone tel you otherwise.....

Although my first was nothing like yours i did only have a quick labour... bout 3-4 hours from start of contractions i got to the hospital being 1 min appart and they were going to send me home as i want dilated... i refused to leave as i was booked in 9am for induction anyways and they decided to break my water @ bout 12.30 and had bubs @1.17am.... everyone always laughs or puts **** on me saying it wasnt as bad as theirs cos it was quick... doenst mean it wasnt painfull. I had contractions start 5 mins appart then went quickly to 1 min appart then every 30 sec... They were painful but i did it with gas and a shot of pethodine....

I dont listen to anyone when they tell me how "easy" my labour was... it may have been quick but contractions were hard and fast... I think any one who brings a child into the world fast, slow, with pain relieve, without, c/section etc what ever should be respected and appreciated for her efforts... I would love to see any man do what we women can do...

I hate it how guys seem to have this opinion on labour, they dont physically know how painful it is (or isnt) and shouldnt really speak up about it because they have never experienced it for themselves. It was like when my dad said to my DP "We've had 5 kids, and let me tell you, labour and birth isnt painful - i didnt feel a thing!!" Needless to say dad got a telling off, but seriously, joke or no joke, what right does a male have to pipe in and say stuff about something they havent physically experienced themselves! GRR.

I ran a virus thingy on my computer a million times last night, and nothing came up!! So i dunno why my computer was so mental last night, it seems okay now.

Aren't the quicker labours more painful? Less time to stretch properly and more chance of tearing.

I woke up with light contractions early in the morning with DS1 which went throughout the day getting stronger, at about 5pm we went to the hospital and they were about to send me home until the midwife decided to check my blood pressure which was high so she brought in another midwife to get another opinion.... and then another.. and then another.. and then a doctor... before i knew it they had me laying on my back (which isn't a very nice position to labour in) with a monitor on my tummy, they then broke my waters (afterwhich the labour pains increased 10 fold) so they could stick a monitor on baby's head. I burst into tears as i watched the heart monitor machine drop down to 80 (not good for baby). I had ecclampsia and was literally shaking because of the really high blood pressure. I was so afraid, the room was filled with a whole medical team and the registrar finally came in and said that i needed an emergency c-section so they rushed me into the OR and did that. I can remember laying there so scared my eyes were wet from crying. Dylan was born and got to hang out with us in the OR for about 10 minutes before being taken to intensive care and i didn't see him again until 2am (he was born at 7:30pm). After about 1hr in recovery they sent down a polaroid of him as i could not physically go to see him. A little later on a midwife came in to express some milk (rather colostrum) to take to him since we could not meet for him to breastfeed. The night after i got to have a shower, i came very close to feinting from the pain and drugs after surgery. The afterbirth pains were excruciating despite being as doped up on morphine as they would allow me to be and it took me several days to be able to get out of bed to pee for myself. rolling over in bed was a nightmare and took me several minutes and was not comfortable anyway because this would stretch the side of my tummy. I had to have DH wash me in the shower for several days afterward i could not do it myself and i had to be sitting down on a chair the whole time. I had to just sit there and watch while DH bathed him as i could not physically help. We finally went home after 8 days and there was not much i could do that involved tensing my tummy muscles for a couple of weeks.
I only got to 3cm dialated, reckon i had an easy labour?
having said that, what i went through doesn't hold a candle to what you went through Sally. Even though Dylan was having troubles breathing he didn't stop altogether like that (to my knowledge) and he was at least full term. Your FIL has no right to speak about what he doesn't know about! I have a little bit of an idea of what you went through and i know its scary, its the best and worst day of your life, and so emotionally draining and to shrug it off like that is so disrespectful to you.
*hugs*

You can see why i want a VBAC this time around.. i want to be able to walk to my baby and hold him properly right after i have him, and thats my motivation for getting through the pain and all that, because when its over, its over and you can then enjoy your baby.

Jade :hugs: hopefully this time you get to gave a vb

Thank You All So Much! I feel a lot better now. If it had just been my FIL I probably would have shrugged it off, but the whole family got onto me, MIL, FIL, Aunty-IL. Like I don't already feel bad enough....

Jade, HUGS and I'm sorry to hear about your birth experience, I really do hope you get your VBA2C

Take Care

Its always the silly in laws isnt it!

Always.... This family thinks the world evolves around them. They are the always "worse off" than everyone else and they are "the best" at everything their children are "angels" They always counter a sad story with one of their own, they always take the limelight of off someone who deserves it to put it on themselves. Thats just what they are like. unfortunately Nigel and his brother aren't like that and they are the ones i want to hang out with. But when you want a relationship you have to take the parents as well.... :(
I'm just feeling so down at the moment. I'm used to being invited places and hanging out, now it's like no--one wants to hang out with me any more :( It became 2008 and I suddenly got BORING. I'm so sick of staying home alone, I can go out, but whats the point go out alone or stay home alone.
Meh...

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blood pressure which was high so she brought in another midwife to get another opinion.... and then another.. and then another.. and then a doctor... before i knew it they had me laying on my back (which isn't a very nice position to labour in) with a monitor on my tummy, they then broke my waters (afterwhich the labour pains increased 10 fold) so they could stick a monitor on baby's head.

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Jade i can so relate to this once they decided that they would break my water i had no choice but to lay on my back...machines on bubs then my BP went sky high so they put a drip on me "just incase" they didnt tell me incase of what.... i was so scared as the "trainee midwife was alone with me most of the time and was freaking out bout my BP and worrying bout me having a siezure.... In the end i must have scared bubs enough into coming out as i got the urge to push "just in time" they said and with in 20 mins after that bubs was born....

Hoping this time that i get a change from laying down on my back...

Sally- have you thought bout maybe a mothers group in your area... it sucks to be alone all the time... I know i'm alone with Jordan most days... Now we go places together just on the off chance you mite meet someone... We did bub swimming classes... babies really enjoy that from an early age... now jordan is older we go to the library, soft play etc... just things to get out of the house

There is a young mothers group in town I go to, It's held every thurs, but because of the public holidays there aren't starting up again until next week. They are a nice bunch... but they are quite immature and it makes it very hard for me to relate to them iykwim?

I will get over it... it doesn't help that I'm almost through my first month on the pill, either. I'm going to my friends 20th Bday today that should be fun, we are going bowling and then out for tea. I'm annoyed at the dinner arrangements though, I asked for it to be earlier because of brendan but they still booked for 8pm. And the resturaunt is an hrs drive. Oh well, at least gets me outta here for a few hours. brendan is usually well behaved.

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Hi Sal. What state do u live in?

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In Melb. Everyone else?

Jess - I hope you do too! *fingers crossed*

Sally - You're doing so well considering you're on your own atm. I go crazy when DH works too much when i'm by myself, i couldn't imagine being a single parent it must be difficult. I think any single parent is a hero!

Sal, Jade and I r in way 2 hot Adelaide. we will b starting a younger mums playgroup with another BB mum in a couple of weeks. all exciting! hope it works better than the ones that the government run coz they r usually really immature.

Jade hope u r inside hun! did u send off the ambo cover stuff? could even ring up to do it and pay by CC (we use visa debit)

I agree that short labours ARE more painful! I have had both! DS I was in labour for 24 hours (vaccuum extraction) and DD I was in labour for 4. My daughter was defiately more intense, and was almost like 1 big non stop contraction. Just think, my body did in 4 hours what last time it took 24 hours to do. That shows its more intense.

Dont listen to other people guys! They have no idea!

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Sally - You're doing so well considering you're on your own atm. I go crazy when DH works too much when i'm by myself, i couldn't imagine being a single parent it must be difficult. I think any single parent is a hero!

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I guess i need to catch up more in here... Sally- didnt know that you were a single mum....must be hard work but you seem to be doing an awesome job..... Keep your chin up...

becky- i agree... everyone goes through different labour and no 2 are the same... dont listen to anyone... you all know what you've been through and should be proud of what you've done... Comming from a mum who's been in the labour ward... its a pain you cant describe and also now my son is 3 and i'm preg again... have no idea what i'm in for and although i know it was hard, painfull and both the worst and best moment in my life i still cant really remember that pain.... I think thats why people make it sound worse to others its that they dont really remember 100% that pain... as soon as my bubs was out i was overcome with emotions of having a beautiful son that all the pain seem to disapear...

SOmetime i think OMG i'm doing it again...

Hey Sally, next time you come to perth lemme know, id be happy to go shopping with you or go for a cuppa :) I was actually awake half the night thinking about suggesting that to you :)

I went shopping today girlies!!! And i bought 2 things from cotton on kids, i had so much trouble at pumpkin patch etc and went into cotton on kids and found 2 things i liked, and i know DP will like them too. One is a little t-shirt that says "Daddy's little princess" and a all in one thingy with "My Dad Rocks", it was 2 for 20 dollars :)
Theres so much i like at pumpkin patch and big w and kmart and target and myer too, but i want DP's view on it all coz i dunno if he likes all the frilly stuff and stuff...but i know he will love what i got today :)

Yes, Sally and I are single mums in here.

I'm in Brisbane. Anyone else?

ETA: yeah I didn't and still don't go for frilly stuff, except for spesh. She only gets it grubby so why bother. I go for plain, simple and/or bright, and at a good price, so she usually has Kmart or BigW clothes, some Target and I don't think I have bought anything in CoK or PP, as its just not worth the price IMO. I don't have a lot of cash to splash out on baby clothes she'll grubby up and grow out of.

Cate- I'm at Tanah Merah which is in the Logan area south of Brissy

Cate, yea some frilly stuff are OTT...but yea i more meant 'girly' stuff rather than frilly. I wouldnt have that much high maintenance clothes, too much to wash and iron etc...and if DP wants it hes gotta wash and iron it himself then :P I dont really have much to splash out on either, we just have a voucher for PP, and cotton on kids arent that badly priced, id say around the price range of big w/target. Most are simple too, nothing fancy.

Does anyone know any good (fairly reasonably priced) places to get size 6-8 maternity clothes?
I dont fit into my normal clothes anymore and am down to stretchy stuff. :D

a friend of my sisters has a ebay store that sells maternity & beyond clothing, if your interested i can PM you the link??

I got singlets from Supre and layered. they r so stretchy that i was wearing them till both girls were born. very long too.

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a friend of my sisters has a ebay store that sells maternity & beyond clothing, if your interested i can PM you the link??

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That would be great. Thanks!

I'm from Melb as well.

Sally i agree with everything the other girls have said.
I was in labor for 17hrs & 10mins, That's from my waters breaking. Contractions started about 20 mins later.
I wanted a drug free labor & every time i told someone what i wanted they laughed & said i could never do it. In the end i proved them all wrong & i didn't even tear, i was so proud of myself :D

Sal- Also if you have a JayJays near you they usually have singlets 3 for $30 or something similar. I would PM you the details but you need 50 posts to be able to recieve and send PM's, what a bummer. Have you got a email address i can send the link to??.

LOL

my MSN email is sallyhulstaert@hotmail.com

Thanks!

HI girls....OMG You all can chat!!! HAhahaha....how are you all doing? I'm back home now but only for 2 weeks as on the 19th we are moving to BRISSY!! WOOHOO!!! Can't wait!
Everything with the bubba boy is going well. Have to do a glucose test on tue....not looking foward to it. He seems to be moving sooooo much. I sometimes wonder if it is normal.
Check back soon.

Sal- i just emailed you the link for the ebay store from my email address: jbonham@iprimus.com.au

Nina- Nice to have you back :D. Where abouts in Brissy are you moving to?. Glad everything is going well with your bubba boy. The glucose test isnt too bad, it doesnt taste too bad just take some water with you to wash it down with if you find you dont like the taste. Are you doing the 1hr test or the 2hr test?.

Rustygirl - I dont think moving alot is an issue, its more when they arent moving much at all. Dont worry yourself about it. Mind you I know the hospital told me if baby starts moving alot towards the end of pregnancy, to call. The night before my water broke Madeline went beserko and I couldnt sleep. Did anyone else get this?

Skittlebub - I didnt even buy any maternity clothing and my tummy was huge. I just lived in stretchy stuff. Its so expensive I found.

mummycate - I agree with the over the top girls clothing. Madeline has had so many dresses and cute little outfits bought for her, but half she has never worn because they just arent practical. She basically lives in onesies and just simple stuff. Mind you it is fun to dress them up now and then.

tannedangel - Definately check out pumpkin patch atm due to their sale. I got some bargains the other day. Someone told me they discount even further as the winter season approaches. Dont know how true this is, but maybe even hang onto the voucher till then and you can buy clothes in larger sizes for her first summer?

I made one of those birth montages today. If you want to check it out its in the labour & birth section and montages is a sticky. Wouldnt have a clue how to do a link sorry!

Hey Cate - Yeah Im in Brissy to. Boronia Heights which is Southside!

I honestly agree, Single Mums need a medal. I admire you all so much! I really dont think I could do it without my DH. In the afternoons when I have had 2 babies (1 of which running, yelling and playing all day), I kinda start to count the hours until he comes home! LOL. I really admire your strength!

Sally and Ali - Thanks, I think I'll be going the next time I have spare time.

Meg - how are you going?

Liz - Yea i been pretty good, finally finished work, got too much for me and i started disliking a few of the ppl i worked with!

Ok to get to Tanah Merah its about 2 hours on public transport (i'm going for my learners after i'm healed after wisdom teeth removal). But perhaps since I'm north and Becky and Joanne are south, perhaps meet in the middle some day. Southbank? I'm going to be away from the 12th.

Ooh I called up the doctors and the pathology said Dr notes"no action". So it looks like she doesn't have chickenpox. Negative for varicella and she's been immunised against the other common ones. Good-o!

So we're on for meet-ups! As I was saying, I'm away from the 12th Jan until the 27th Jan, a few days after teeth out, and Ellie comes back with her dad on 25th Feb.

So not long now.... not looking forward to surgery.

I should add, Sally and I are very lucky that we live with our parents so they are able to help us out. But the bulk of the parenting is our responsibility, and I admire all of you who have partners and mostly do it all yourselves.

Yeah its about an hour trip for me to get from Tanah Merah to the city (Roma St), i'm geographically challenged as i've only lived in Brissy since April 2007 and havent gotten out and about much. I probably wont be up for much before i have bubs as i've got under 4 weeks to go until EDD. So maybe i'll meet up with you guys after i've had bubs, no idea when as we'll be swamped with family for a few weeks/months 1 lot will leave then the next will arrive.

Cate & Sally- you guys are doing a FANTASTIC job i admire both of you for what you do, and you've got great families who support you.

Well Jo, its not much of a drama to travel to you, Ellie is really good on public transport and I'm so used to it, as I've never had a license.

Thats great that Ellie is good on Public transport, Tanah Merah isnt on a train line, but theres a bus station at the local shopping centre.

I'm just not sure what i'll be up for in the next few weeks iykwim??. I'm sure we'll work something out.

Okey doke, you let me know when you're up to it, and I can visit you rather than you having to go out. Ellie is back at the end of February so just let me know and I hope to be able to chat online on BB in the meantime. Good luck soon!

Hey Jo,

At the moment were not too sure about where we are going to live but it will be somewhere close to Enoggera Barracks, Joel is in the Army, and I have to be close to Royal Brisbane and Womans Hospital. They are going to put us up in a hotel for 2 weeks until they find us a place and our household stuff arrives.
I'm doing the 1hr test. Hopefully it comes back normal!!

Cate- As soon as i'm up for visits or getting out i'll be sure to let you know :). I'll still be chatting here on BB as much as i can. I hope that Ellie has a good time at her dads.

Nina- Thats fair enough that you have to be close to the Barracks & the hospitals,nice of them to put you guys up in a hotel until you find a place to live & your house contents arrive. The 1hr test wasnt too bad for me, my STUPID doctor tried to get me to have the 2hr test first as he felt it was more accurate and that didnt work out and i had to stop the test DP marched me off to my doctor and gave him a piece of his mind. I ended up doing the 1hr test and the results came back normal i was ever so relieved.