My DH and I first decided we wanted children in 2004 and first met with specialists at the end of 2008 in Melbourne where we learnt we needed to undergo ICSI IVF and then in 2009 we moved to Outback Qld which unfortunately there are not any specialists this far out.
We finally flew to Brissy in April and met with the wonderful team at QFG and we are now on the road to undergo IVF in September.
The hardest thing is that we have found out just this year of 26 pregnancies between our family and friends back in Melbourne, everytime I hear about another pregnancy, I seem to get more emotional even though I am very happy for them, I can't help but be more sad and sometimes I feel that I am being cold towards them but I try not to be, I just am hurting and I do feel bad for being a bit selfish, I am also hopeful that our time will come.
How do you get past the sadness and the feeling of "why isn't it happening for us"? Things that make it worse are when family and friends say "Don't worry, you are still young and have plenty of time", we even had a family member say "If you can't have children, it's not the end of the world" but to have our own family is our dream slightly feels like our world would crash. We know we can adopt and we will explore that option more if we are unsuccessful in IVF.
Anybody's advice is welcome on how to cope better with these situations?
Also like to hear of anyone in the same position or has been through it previously?
Welcome to BellyBelly
Feel free to join the LT TTC & Assisted Conception chat thread to talk with others in similar situations to yourself.
All the best - hope this is a short road for you
Hi dreams into reality
I get what you're going through. It seems like every other day I learn that someone else has become pregnant and it feels like I never will! For me the hardest was when my sister in law announced she was pregnant - about a week after my husband and I found out IVF was our only chance of conceiving - (timing!). I immediately felt nauseous and for several weeks couldn't be around her or even talk about her without getting upset - I guess it was a bit too close to home! That said, it did pass. I definitely have bad days, and I still find it hard to be 100% happy for other people that haven't been through what we have, but my emotions these days (almost a year on from our initial tests) are much more in check!
I feel the same, its soooo hard to hear about everyone else falling so easily and here we are going through so much heartache to try everytime, it dosn't seem fair!! I also feel like i come across cold and i avoid situations where it may make me feel worse but at the end of the day we are happy for other peolpe but we are also hurting and i think people need to understand that. A friend said to me when we first found out we needed IVF, 'have you put your name down for adoption'! I could have slapped her, becoming parents of our own child is everything to us and like you i also feel i would not be okay if it never happened. Adoption is at the back of my mind but i would give everything before i came to that. So don't feel like your the only one with these feelings because your not and its totally normal. Good luck with everything xo
Hello Kass and oneday,
It's nice to know I am not alone in this and there are people out there that know what I am going through! For a while it got easier and then the last 12 months just seemed to get even harder, I don't know if it is because I am yearning it more and more or my strength barrier has been broken
I agree it does pass, just lately everytime it seems to pass another one seems comes up!
Just before I logged into BB tonight, I just received another text from a friend in Melbourne to announce another pregnancy, taken completely by surprise, I couldn't even read the message to hubby, I just sat there stunned but after a few minutes I was able to congratulate her and I am truly happy for her. I am hopeful for the future and have to remain positive and happy for people to keep me going
I think talking to more people going through similar situations will increase my strength again as my friends and family just can't completely understand what DH and I are going through, don't get me wrong, they are very supportive but they even say to us that they wish they could understand more.
Thanks for your kind words ladies, I greatly appreciate it
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Any advice welcome....
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