wow so sorry to hear your heartache! The infertility rollercoaster is certainly a horrible one and it breaks my heart to hear other peoples sad times. While trying to conceive my daughter I felt the same way, I worked with children (stupid me) and like you I constantly had ppl telling me they were pregnant. I think I got to this numb point, where I just emotionally gave up and when we finally fell pregnant on our 6th attempt I honestly couldn't believe it until I saw the baby on ultrasound and even then I was scared to death she would be taken from me. I was only saying to my husband last night how much that time in our lives has changed me, good and bad. I'm very judgemental now of others having children and I still envy ppl when they fall pregnant straight away. Im a stress head now and have slight OCD. On a positive note I feel like the luckiest person everyday to have my daughter and I appreciate her so much more then what I would have if I didn't go through this journey.

Life really isn't fair and I guess we will never know why some of us endure so much heartache but I do believe in miracles and what happens is supposed to happen. I hope that you get your baby, without even knowing you I know you would be a fantastic mother, never give up.