First cycle IVF/ICSI, and I'm feeling really scared

[Elzi]

He there lovely ladies,

DH and i have finally taken the plunge after my big denial phase - which included trying everything under the sun that WASN'T assisted reproduction.

I started the synarel yesterday and am terrified of the Gonal F injections due to start next thursday. Not just of the needle itself (PHOBIAAA), but scared that it isn't the right dose for me and i end up having to cancel the cycle.

I'm also worried because the clinic i am at intend to do embrio transfer rather than blastocyst (unless there are too many good embies to choose from by day 3). My mind is circling around the possibility of choosing a bad embie that seemed good, which would have been apparent if blastocyst was done.

See, my worries.. and i'm sure they are unfounded and just based on paranoia, but i just can't help it.

I have, however, already started off with acupuncture - so i hope that will help, even if it is just my head space that it helps.

I feel so lost because i don't have anybody around me that understands or can even show any real kind of support, not even DH. So i guess i just needed to spill some of my many thoughts out to you guys...

TIA for any words of advice that you can give me X X X X X X.

[glenny_c]

Elzi- It's such a scary thing to do- admitting that you need it and then taking the step to actually start IVF. Good luck!!!

As for the injections, I'm sure they will be monitoring you to make sure you are on the right dose, it's unlikely you will have to cancel the cycle. I found the needles were fine too, they are so thin you can't even feel them!!

Don't worry about the embryo vs blasocyst either. I had a 3 day embryo transferred and it is now kicking the hell out of my bladder!!

Acupuncture is brilliant!! I still go monthly and I went from about 3 months prior to our first cycle. I love it just for the relaxation and "me" time

I wish you the best luck and will be looking out for your pregnancy announcement!!

[nicoleh]

Hi Elzi
We started ivf/icsi in June (we actually started in March but I fainted, broke my ankle and had to have the cycle cancelled!!)
I thought getting PG would be easy and never thought I would be doing all this. I was scared about the injections too and I found the best way for me to cope was to get DH to administer (which he does not mind doing and does really well!) they do not hurt. As for the dose it is a little hit & miss, my first cycle when I went for my first scan nothing was happening so FS upped the does and I ended up being overstimulated and got too many eggs. 2nd cycle I was on a lower dose but still got overstimulated. Both times after egg pick up I was told it was cancelled and would be freeze all BUT each time I saw the FS and she checked me out and was happy that I had recovered and was able to do transfer. This cycle we are doing an antagonist cycle. My FS only tranfers 5 day blasts so I do not know about the day 3 issue.
Its not scary once you get started, for me the worst thing is the ups & downs (being told its a freeze all and being let down, then transfer going ahead etc...) other than that the tww is the worst part I find and of course coping with the let down when you are not pg.
Good luck with everything

[sunshine 11]

Hi Elzi,
Please know that the chances of your cycle being cancelled are pretty small, I know it can all seem very daunting, but if you feel comfortable with your FS, he/she will be monitoring you to make sure the cycle is successful - remember that they want it to succeed too!
The needles are soooo much easier than I thought they would be. I did them myself and just put them in slowly which hardly hurt at all.
My 1st cycle we froze at 3 days because I got 4 embryos (one of them is my DD), my second cycle I got 9 on day 3 so we went to blast, and one of them is going to make my DD a big sister in Feb. Remember again, your FS will be trying to maximise your chance of success.
I found BB was an immense support as like you, I didn't know anyone else going through IVF. Make sure your FS knows your concerns too so they can be aware too.
Wishing you all the luck on your journey!

[andi81]

Hi Elzi,

Your story sounds so familiar to me. I was also in denial and put off seeing an FS for 2 years - worst thing is now I wish I hadn't as I didn't realise how long the IVF journey would take.

I just had my first failed IVF cycle and I had 3 day embryo transfer too. I'm new to this site and I've noticed everyone talking about blastocyst and I'm unsure of what it means. FS told me that we'd leave it a little longer before triggering next time but there's never been any discussion about the 3/5 days...I forgot to bring this up at my appt yesterday!

So now that I've seen your thread saying you are concerned about it...it's got me wondering...?

In regards to the needles etc everything was fairly easy and pain free. The worst thing was miss dumb ass - I was so forgetful! (it's good to have something to blame it on!)

I hope everything goes well for you...sometimes it's the unknown that is the hardest part. BB is great for finding people that understand, it's great know that you're not alone

[nicoleh]

Hi Elzi,

Your story sounds so familiar to me. I was also in denial and put off seeing an FS for 2 years - worst thing is now I wish I hadn't as I didn't realise how long the IVF journey would take.

I just had my first failed IVF cycle and I had 3 day embryo transfer too. I'm new to this site and I've noticed everyone talking about blastocyst and I'm unsure of what it means. FS told me that we'd leave it a little longer before triggering next time but there's never been any discussion about the 3/5 days...I forgot to bring this up at my appt yesterday!

With them transferring a 5 day blastocyst I was told your chances are better - my FS does not do any transfer but blastocyst
I looked up the meaning for you so hope this helps!

A blastocyst is an embryo which has developed to the point of having 2 different cell components and a fluid cavity. Human embryos, in culture in an IVF lab, or developing naturally in the female body, usually reach the blastocyst stage by day 5 after fertilization. Blastocyst transfer with IVF can give high pregnancy success rates.

So now that I've seen your thread saying you are concerned about it...it's got me wondering...?

In regards to the needles etc everything was fairly easy and pain free. The worst thing was miss dumb ass - I was so forgetful! (it's good to have something to blame it on!)

I hope everything goes well for you...sometimes it's the unknown that is the hardest part. BB is great for finding people that understand, it's great know that you're not alone

With them transferring a 5 day blastocyst I was told your chances are better - my FS does not do any transfer but blastocyst
I looked up the meaning for you so hope this helps!

A blastocyst is an embryo which has developed to the point of having 2 different cell components and a fluid cavity. Human embryos, in culture in an IVF lab, or developing naturally in the female body, usually reach the blastocyst stage by day 5 after fertilization. Blastocyst transfer with IVF can give high pregnancy success rates.