Just starting out - a few Qs

[frugal]

Hi everyone,

I'm a little lost at the moment, I'm not sure where to ask these questions.

DH and I have been TTC since December, which isn't long, but we recently had a SA done because we had a idea in the back of our minds that DH might not be fertile. The SA showed no sperm, and our Doctor got us an appointment for a fertility specialist at an IVF clinic in Richmond. (Has anyone had any experiences with them?)

So, we don't really know the cause of the lack of sperm yet, but I'm still thinking about the road that lies ahead of us. I have a few questions about IVF too.. like, are you SURE I have to go through the drugs and egg collection if I'm otherwise fine? (I already know the answer to that I suppose ) and with the cost involved - the sticky thread about how much it costs, is that for ONE try only, or does that cover more than one? We're trying to decide how much we need to save up, and where the "end point" is for us.

My DH is wondering about the "natural selection" issue, he's worried if he's not able to have kids naturally, perhaps he shouldn't at all.

We havn't talked with any family or friends about any of this. At least not until we find out what the cause is and what our options are.

Thanks for any help. Also, where does someone like me post here now? I was in the TTC buddies for 1-6 months, but I'm all lost now, as I'm not a LTTTC yet, but we may be going through assisted conception real soon.

Thank you again!

[~TT40~]

sorry I have no advice, because you have done more than DH and me.
But I hope it all works out, and wish you the best while you go through it and work out causes etc... and ofcourse sending you all the wiggly little spermy vibes i can and sticky vibes and baby vibes.
good luck!!!

[oneday86]

Hi frugal. im not much help either but i wanted to say goodluck! All clinics cost a little different but i can tell you what it has cost me and DH, the first round (full stim cycle) cost us $9000 ($7500 for the IVF/ICSI procedure and then it cost us an extra $1500 for the hospital bill and aunethitist for egg collection). I was fortunate enough to have 4 good 5day embryo's, so we had one 3 put away in storage. The frozen cycles cost us $2395.
From the stim cycle we got back about $5000 from medicare and with the frozen cycles we got back about $1400 from medicare.
I also thought i wouldn't need egg collection because im healthy but they do the stim cycle and egg collection to produce more eggs to get a better result because not all embryo's make it to the blastist stage, out of 15 eggs collected i got 4 embryo's and they told me that i got a great result as many ppl only get 1! I hope i havn't confused you too much and i hope it helps but dont be afraid of the IVF procedure because it does seem daunting at first but once you start it is really easy and exciting. xx

ME 24 & DH 25
ICSI
STIM #1 BFN
FET #2 BFN
FET #3 BFP- Lost our little angel at 5 weeks
FET #4 jul/aug

[frugal]

Thank you Teirae and Oneday.

Oneday - you weren't confusing at all! Very helpful, thank you so much.

DH doesn't want to talk about anything to do with IVF until at least after Thursday when we see the FS for the first time.. so I'm conflicted, since that's how I get out any worries and thoughts and everything. I just *have* to talk about stuff. I can understand his POV though, of course.. I had some other questions, but I've forgotten them already. Yep, it *seems* daunting right now.. but I'll try to remember "easy and exciting".. lol

Thanks again.

[kimmi]

Hey Frugal,

I just wanted to offer my support for you in your situation.

It is difficult, and it's a road most of us wish we didn't have to travel down but I guess it's one that just becomes a part of who you are. I'm only in the stimulation phase of my very first IVF cycle, but I've already had my won ups and downs. It's taken us 7 months to get here from the time of our first fs appointment.

You partner probably just confused at the moment. He will more than likely be feeling hurt and blame for the situation the both of you are now facing. Once you get into it a bit more and speak to your doctors, he may open up in relation to the options you will have in front of you.

With the cost, our aim (along with most others) is to get as many viable embryo's into storage as possible. Once you have an embryo to thaw, you will not need to go through the process of the stimulation drugs or egg pick up. This will in turn dramatically reduce the cost of future cycles.

I truly wish you all the best and hope that everything works out well for you. Keep us updated on what road you do eventually take.

All the best.

Kimmi x

[frugal]

Thank you Kimmi. Poor DH is feeling like it's all his fault that we're in this situation, poor thing. Amazingly though, he told his boss at work about the whole situation and called me saying he's pro-IVF.

My other question was: if I'm otherwise healthy, would that increase our chances of IVF working fairly quickly, say, in comparison to if I had issues too?

Thanks again. We got a call from the FS clinic confirming our appointment for Thursday.. it seems every day we're forced to think about it in one way or another. In some ways, I'm looking forward to getting this happening.

[onthefly]

That must have been a bit of a shock frugal
It's best to take these things one step at a time. Talk with your FS and see where you stand on the sperm side of things, then take it from there. It is always good to be moving forward, but unfortunately this can be a very long and difficult journey, so take care of yourselve along the way and always keep talking to each other.
All the best for Thursday & remember we're here for any questions or if you just need support.

[oneday86]

Hi frugal im glad i could help Your question about concieving easy well thats the tricky one because everyone is completely different, i was 23 when me and DH started IVF, i was in complete dinial thinking im young and healthy so i will fall first or 2nd go, our first 2 attemts didn't work and then i fell with our 3rd round but we lost it at 5weeks but dont let this put you off because like i said EVERYONE is different, iv heard many stories where people fall first go. But i believe if you go in with an open mind and don't have too high expectations and to be prepared that it may not work straight away you will be better off and then if it does work first go that a bonus. I can understand how your DH feels cause thats how mine feels, it must be very hard for them because i know when i lost our baby i felt the same way, i felt like a failure but my best advice is that you both need to stay positive and believe, thats what has gotten me this far is believing i WILL have a baby oneday. xx