Thank you Kimmi. Poor DH is feeling like it's all his fault that we're in this situation, poor thing. Amazingly though, he told his boss at work about the whole situation and called me saying he's pro-IVF.
My other question was: if I'm otherwise healthy, would that increase our chances of IVF working fairly quickly, say, in comparison to if I had issues too?
Thanks again. We got a call from the FS clinic confirming our appointment for Thursday.. it seems every day we're forced to think about it in one way or another. In some ways, I'm looking forward to getting this happening.
That must have been a bit of a shock frugal
It's best to take these things one step at a time. Talk with your FS and see where you stand on the sperm side of things, then take it from there. It is always good to be moving forward, but unfortunately this can be a very long and difficult journey, so take care of yourselve along the way and always keep talking to each other.
All the best for Thursday & remember we're here for any questions or if you just need support.
Hi frugal im glad i could help Your question about concieving easy well thats the tricky one because everyone is completely different, i was 23 when me and DH started IVF, i was in complete dinial thinking im young and healthy so i will fall first or 2nd go, our first 2 attemts didn't work and then i fell with our 3rd round but we lost it at 5weeks but dont let this put you off because like i said EVERYONE is different, iv heard many stories where people fall first go. But i believe if you go in with an open mind and don't have too high expectations and to be prepared that it may not work straight away you will be better off and then if it does work first go that a bonus. I can understand how your DH feels cause thats how mine feels, it must be very hard for them because i know when i lost our baby i felt the same way, i felt like a failure but my best advice is that you both need to stay positive and believe, thats what has gotten me this far is believing i WILL have a baby oneday. xx
frugal - firstly, . I know exactly how you feel, you're in the same place I was 2 years ago. And one thing i know for sure, is there's never any definites in this area. Until you can find out what the reason for DH zero sperm is, and hear what the fs has to say, there's always a chance. Modern science is amazing. And it's also so true that us girls usually just need to talk about it, examine it from every angle and hypothesise every outcome..but the guys like to have the facts first!! so, that's what we're all here for. It's been a long 3 years for my DH and me to get to the stage we're at now, i don't think our journey is over yet, but the good thing is, the earlier you know your options, the better. And this place is a great place for support. To answer your question about you being healthy and whether you need to undergo IVF treatment - if your DH has some sperm hidden somewhere then you're best option might be to undergo treatment and try to produce as many eggs as possible, inject them individually using the ICSI process, and trying for as many embryos as possible, so as to limit the number of times you or he need to undergo treatment. If an abundance of sperm are found, or if you use a donor, then IVF isn't so necessary for you. I'm also very healthy, though not gettigg any younger, and this was our best option.
Good luck with everything, I know it's a very tough time, you both might be grieving, so just be kind to yourself.
Just want to wish you all the best for your appointment.
Perhaps write questions down as you think of them and then take them to your FS on Thursday. I had a huge list of questions written down when I had my first IVF appointment which my FS went through with us.
Thank you all so much. The appointment went really well I think, mostly because he was lovely and answered all our questions.
He examined DH, and has an idea that it'll be a genetic issue (something he was born with, no control over etc).. and to cut a long story short, it seems as though we won't be getting UTD without intervention. DH had all his bloods taken and we've arranged for a gyno appointment for me.. and a couple of ultrasounds each to top it off. It'll be an interesting day!
We havn't decided 100% on the IVF route just yet. The deciding factor is how DH's testosterone tests come back (as well as the genetic tests, of course.. so we'll assume they're fine for the time being..). We were both interested to learn that they actually have to remove 5% of his "mass" to get the sperm.. and doing so may effect his testosterone production. If he's already at a low / borderline level, it could mean hormone replacement for him for the rest of his life. We're not keen on that idea at all!
So, given everything comes back normal, we're looking at IVF. He said there wasn't a huge benefit of doing a biopsy to see what the chances are of DH having sperm, as the results aren't conclusive.. so generally they'll set me up for the egg collection (all the meds I suppose) and then have "one good shot" at getting sperm for the IVF/ICSI. If they find none, then that's our journey over (as we don't want to do the donor thing). If they do find some, then we're good to go.
So, next up is these appointments for ultrasounds and the gynaecologist, then we see the FS again in another 4 weeks after the blood tests are back.
There was a lot to take in at the time, so I'm sorry for missing anything important!
Sounds like you're much clearer on what needs to be done.
I'll say one thing about IVF, I found that you have to be in the right head space to start it. It was 2 years from my diagnosis of my issues until we actually went ahead with IVF. We were pretty devastated - as I am sure most people are - to learn that we had to have IVF. And as I say, it was 2 years before we were in the right head space to be able to face it.
I found that talking through things with DH all the time helped too. We were totally there for each other which I think is so important for such a journey.
All the best and keep us posted on how things go for you.
Sue xxx
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Your question about concieving easy well thats the tricky one because everyone is completely different, i was 23 when me and DH started IVF, i was in complete dinial thinking im young and healthy so i will fall first or 2nd go, our first 2 attemts didn't work and then i fell with our 3rd round but we lost it at 5weeks 
but dont let this put you off because like i said EVERYONE is different, iv heard many stories where people fall first go. But i believe if you go in with an open mind and don't have too high expectations and to be prepared that it may not work straight away you will be better off and then if it does work first go that a bonus. I can understand how your DH feels cause thats how mine feels, it must be very hard for them because i know when i lost our baby i felt the same way, i felt like a failure but my best advice is that you both need to stay positive and believe, thats what has gotten me this far is believing i WILL have a baby oneday. xx
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