We're unexplained as well, and our FS also gave us a 50% chance of our first cycle working. And here we are planning our fourth stim cycle...
Funnily enough, after 3 failed stim cycles (and 1 failed FET) I got pg naturally last month (first ever bfp after almost 3 years of TTC!), but we lost it very early. But I'm hoping this means we do have a chance of IVF#4 succeeding!
As for the number you can/should do - that's entirely up to you! Try not to think that far ahead. Hopefully the first one is the only one you will need. If it doesn't work, that's when you ask yourself if you want to do another and when you want to do it.
Thanks guys for your advice and support.
Yes,I'll try not to think ahead. I'm reading The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle, which is kind of helpful. I guess. I'm reading it for the second time! But I mean, when you're faced with a decision, you kind of do tend to look ahead. I'm always torn though between this optimism v realism v pessimism.
I think: am I being delusionally optimistic? Or am I being too negative? I can't decide. Of course, it varies day to day!
Thanks again and sending best wishes and good luck your way!
I completely understand that forward thinking thing - I do it all the time! I found my first IVF so overwhelming and one of the main things I learned was that the best way to get through it was to break it down into steps and only think about the step you were on, not the next one or two or ten! The further ahead you think, the bigger, scarier and more overwhelming it is. Until I learned that I was just about ready to explode with pent up tension and worrying!
Also, when it comes to the question "how many cycles will I be willing to do", my experience is that the answer changes depending on where you are in a cycle and what happened with the last one and just simply whether or not you're having a bad day. I started out thinking we'd keep doing as many as we could until we got a BFP or as long as the money and eggs lasted. But after #3 was a BFN again I decided I needed a break to recover physically and emotionally I also wasn't ready to try for #4 at that time. Now, after a 5 month break I'm keen to get started with #4 and will be counting down to the end of November!
Hi Juniper76,
So true. You express it really well. I guess I have a history of being ... um ... yeah .. a tiny bit into "control". But now, I think I am learning that there will be so many things beyond my control (in life), and I just won't know in advance how I'll feel at that time.
Sometimes you cling to things like dates and calendars and counting, to feel that illusion of control. I mean, that's what I do.
Hey, I am so glad that you're trying again, and that you took care of yourself by having a break. It takes guts to do that too. I'm going to check out your blog. Looks like you have a fair bit of wisdom.
In Ghana, they say "No hurry in life". Which I used to find infuriating. Now it's quite comforting (sort of!).
We fall into the 'unexplained' category as well, which is such a frustrating thing because to be honest I wish we knew a definent reason why we just don't work!!
We'd been trying for five years before we sought IVF. Our specialist recommended going straight to IVF rather than trying anything else which we were happy with because we didn't want to waste any more time. The stats our clinic showed us were based on 'age' rather than categorised into anything else & he told us that he would get us pregnant within four goes. And he was spot on! We had 1 X IVF, 2 X FET & 1 X IVF = BFP!!
Besides the emotional toll, I had no real physical effects with any of the drugs etc so we just kept going back as soon as we could. We had our first cycle May 2007 & were pregnant DEC2007. We're now going to be starting a fresh cycle next month for number two. Good luck with it all & fingers crossed you achieve your BFP as soon as possible
Thanks Littlemissmoo,
I'm glad to hear IVF worked for you, and you're trying again.
Actually, I just found out on my last scan, that it looks like I have endometriosis on my left ovary. We're still going ahead with this cycle, though. It's funny, because I was so keen on having a "reason" and now I really wish we didn't. Because I think that ovary is at risk now, and it could mean that the endo is more severe. Still, we won't know until we've had a laparoscopy I guess. It just throws another variable in there. I'm really living up to my name (worrying) this weekend.
Anyway ...
Best of luck for this cycle, fingers crossed.
Hi again worrywart.
I have been trying to find myself a FS that specialised in tubal damage (thats what I have) and I have read several times that the rate of conception (sponatenously) is much higher with couples that have unexplained infertility then couples with known fertility problems. That made me think of this thread so thought I would let you know unexplained infertility does have one advantage. This is not talking about IVF of course just getting pregnant in general.
Good luck with your cycle. I hope it brings you your BFP.
Also I didn't think they could diagnose endo by scan but rather laparoscopically. Have you had a lap before?
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