Hi Clare......

I am step mum to two boys (12 and 15). DH and I are having our first child together.

We were pretty open with the boys from the day we found out that we were pregnant.

The 15 year old has aspergus and wouldn't have a clue as to what is happening as he lives in his own little world. (The other issue here is that he is not even the son of my DH. DH just took on the role of dad to him when he was 2. ) We have both sat him down and tried to explain everything to him but he just phases out and couldn't care less. I won't be leaving him alone with the baby under any circumstances.

The 12 year old (DH's son) has been really excited since day one and will get out my pregnancy book every fortnight and look up what is happening and ask questions. He comes up and rubs my belly and listens to the heartbeat at any opportunity. He will massage my feet and give me pedicures also. He has become increasingly protective of me and is extremely considerate of how I am feeling.

I can see when Amber is born that it will be a constant battle between DH and SS to change nappies, bath her and generally take care of her. I could actually express all my milk (when it comes in) and they would take turns in feeding her.

Shell