this is where choice comes into it. some people do want them listed. I'm like you N2L both DH and I didn't want them (her half brothers and sisters) on Spocks, and that is fine, but others obviously do want them on their and they want the option to.
I wouldn't mind if my girls went onto their siblings from my ex, but we have a very different relationship where all four adults not only get along but like each other and spend lots of time all as one unit!
We are blessed to have that relationship, but blood is blood. Perhaps it's only a piece of paper but I really feel it adds a divide that is not needed.
Like I said, I feel sad about it, and others won't depending on circumstances.
Yes, I would have liked to have my son's name on DS2s birth certificate BUT, I'm not overly sure that I would want his name to go on his biological father's children's birth certificates....does that make sense? ACtually, I'm quite sure that his BD (bio dad) wouldn't want that either let alone his wife (and mother of his other three children).
And, going off on a tangent... I don't think a piece of paper makes a family. I think people make a family.
Is it really a piece of paper though, for this to exist on paper, people have decided that they aren't acknowledged and made that a rule. Even when our baby was born kids said to the older girls, but she is not your real sister, she is only half. Thoughts impact the world as much as action does. They are her sisters and it would be great to have it acknowledged on paper. Off topic totally but i feel that it does impact, paper or not.
I personally I think it is important for the child to have their older siblings, either by full of half blood, to be on their birth certificates. Regardless of the relationship between the adults, this is part of that child's history and it should be acknowledged. But that's just me. I dont' come from a perspective where this might be difficult or emotional.
I think you're right in that it depends on the parenting history Trillian. As it is, some parents don't deserve to be on their children's birth certificate. Nothing to do with the relationship between the exes, more to do with issues of abuse, neglect, absenteeism, etc.
Eta - I would never refer to DD's siblings as "half siblings" (except when trying to explain the family tree to strangers out of her earshot). They are her brothers and sisters. A piece of paper doesn't change that either way.
Last edited by nothing2lose; November 23rd, 2012 at 08:37 AM.
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