Blended family question

[echidna]

My DF wants to adopt my daughter. Is this possible, when she goes to her father every second weekend?

Also, is it possible to change her surname to add DF's? She's Possum Smith, and I'd like her to be Possum Jones-Smith, as Jones is DF's name, and will soon enough be mine too. So we'd be Echidna Jones, Wombat Jones and Possum Jones-Smith.

(sorry for the aliases, I like being private here.)

[ubba82]

From what I understand, her father has to give his consent unless DD is over 18.

[AliBaby]

I think her father would have to agree with you and sign papers. If he doesn't agree I think you will have some difficulties.

[saslia]

If her Dad is in her life I don't think it would be fair for your DP to adopt her. I also don't think your ex would be happy to "sign" her over to your DP. There are also many other "rules" surrounding.
I have 3 step kids and would ony adopt them if their mother wasn't around anymore.

[AwesomeFoursome]

Firstly, If an adoption order was granted your daugther father would cease to be her legal parent. This would end to any rights her father may have to custody, guardianship or access to her ect. If he is seeing her every second weekend I don't think he would sign away his rights, even if he did, it wouldn't be easy to get though court. I don't think it would be fair to take your daugther's father away from her either. She can still have a relationship with your DF but I think its important for her to have her father as well.

You should be able to change her name but I think you will need her father's permission, you just apply to Births, Deaths and Marriages.

Best of luck with everything.

[sushee]

Re adoption, the other posters have pretty much covered it. I seriously doubt your ex would relinquish all his parental rights to his DD, and he would have to in order for your DF to adopt your DD. And that's only the first step in a long, arduous process.

Re the name change: you can't change her name without her father's permission.

My 14yo DS wanted to change his name to my husband's (his step-dad's) surname when he was 10. But when I looked into it, it clearly states on all paperwork that if the child is under 18, you need the father's (as appears on the birth certificate) permission.

[Sammiejane]

Firstly, If an adoption order was granted your daugther father would cease to be her legal parent. This would end to any rights her father may have to custody, guardianship or access to her ect. If he is seeing her every second weekend I don't think he would sign away his rights, even if he did, it wouldn't be easy to get though court. I don't think it would be fair to take your daugther's father away from her either. She can still have a relationship with your DF but I think its important for her to have her father as well.

You should be able to change her name but I think you will need her father's permission, you just apply to Births, Deaths and Marriages.

:yeahthat:
Exactly what i was going to write.
We looked into this a few years ago, but as saslia said we decided not to go any further as the mother is still around.

It is fantastic that your DP feels so strongly about your children, but what are you hoping to achieve by the adoption process, your would still want the father to be part of your DD's life wouldnt you (sorry, but from your post it didnt seem that there was an issue of your DD seeing her Dad)

I can understand the name change, but is it what your DD wants? we have always discussed that if a name change was an issue and DSS requested one (due to having the same name as siblings etc) then it would be at his request, not for another reason.

i guess what i am saying is, weigh up the issues and look at the reasons behind trying to do something like this. Is it for ease (same name), legal easy (issues with your DP being able to sign for your DD etc etc) or just because it completes your family unit. None of the reasons are negative if they are done for the right reasons.... like most things, when it comes to children the impact that it will have on their life should be considered above all other issues and then a decision should be made.

HTH

[echidna]

Thanks everyone.

So adoption cancels out her father, so I wouldn't consider that.

But as for the name change, it would be so that we both have the same surname and her sibling will have the same surname too, less confusing by the time school comes around. Currently I'm Echidna Brown, DF is Wombat Jones and DD is Possum Smith. Three surnames, very confusing. I'll talk to her father about it later, when we're significantly UTD.

[KimB]

When you get married your DD can legally take your new DH name so if you want to hyphenate it it should be ok. Her birth certificate will still stay the same but on the medicare card you can add the hyphenated name. I did this with my DD when I married. When they go to school and you are filling in the paperwork they ask for the birth cert but also ask what the child would prefer to be called. So the school will abide by what you write down.

The adoption process should be ruled out anyway because you have to relinquish your right as well and there is no guarantee that they will grant it back. I ruled that one out straight away lol.

Good luck with what you decide.