I agree with Niliac you sound like your doing a fantastic job. Although Me personally hasnt had this problem as this is my first child. But i have lived in a similar situation with my sister who my mum had at a young age to another man then she met my dad and they had me and my brother, but I digress. my sister constantly had the double family life flying between my parents and her dad and step mother. Although it was exciting for my mother to see her daughter it was a constant struggle for my father being the step father to a child who also went through the " i want" phase and just being totally disrespectful . But because it meant alot to my mother, my dad sort of just had to do the best he could. But at the end of the day it came down to the fact that it was my fathers house, and like anywhere you go as a child you be respectful in someone elses home and do as your told. Which i think personally is fair, i was always raised that way and i reckon thats how children should be raised. I think you are doing a fantastic job considering the circumstances you are under which wouldnt be easy on anyone.but to cut a long post short lol im sure your husband would understand the strain that this has on you as there are so many boundaries and as you say its not always easy to discipline them in the way you want to, but im sure that he would support you 100%. All children need boundaries and rules, and at the end of the day just because her mother lets her run a muck as it were doesnt mean she can be free to do it in your home. your house, your rules. i mean no one is saying you have to be an evil step mother lol but at the same time it sounds like she needs to learn that at her dads place there are different rules to her mums place. Hope this helped. Like i said this being my first baby i cant say i personally know but living with it with my sister i saw alot of what went on and im suprised my dad did such a great job without going bonkers lol