Our four are a bit more spread out than others.
So some of it is a bit different, for example by the time DD2 is doing sport, DD1 will probably be gone from home, or certainly much more independant.
But FWIW I agree that a 4th doesn't impact much more than 3...I found the step from 1 to 2 to be the biggest, each additional child has been less of an impact on us financially.
The biggest thing was we needed a new car, but we really needed one anyway... we got a 4yo Kia Carnival & it's pretty good...we like it.
I think a lot of the costs are gradual, they just slip in IYKWIM? we don't really think about 'well if we didn't have to buy this or that then we could...' because it all gets eaten up somewhere in the end.
Sport.... DD1 dances, so it doesn't interfere with DS1's football. DS2 wants to do swimming... but TBH we find that football on a Saturday takes up a huge chunk of the day anyway. The hardest part would be if the games are scheduled at different times & different fields... but you could be facing that with 3 boys anyway
When we were kids my bro played footy & us girls played netball. Where we lived it was all done on the same days & times. Training on Thursday & games on Saturday. Being the same team, we all played at the same towns when away too.
I did swimming from about 10, but I walked to the pool & back. Good thing about a small town I guess, everything is right there.
We are about to have our fourth & I haven't thought about that stuff TBH. I plan for the kids to do little A's & nippers. Both the girls will be starting this year. DD1 has done LA's before.
I don't know much about netball/footy etc, but we'll worry about that when we come to it.
Our biggest concern is getting another car. We could just get a seat for the back, but this is actually an excuse to upgrade & we are happy about that.
When this one gets to school I will be returning to work of some sort, if not before, so there will be more income, so I guess as their appetites get bigger there will be more $$ to go around.
We already get most of the kids clothes from op shops anyway, so that doesn't bother us. Birthdays & christmasses are the only times they get new stuff.
TBH, my main worry about them being older is space. I feel like teens need more space. (Or I will when I have teens & don't want to deal with them!!) I only hope that by the time we get there we'll have been able to buy/build our own home with the kids rooms further away from ours, but 3 stories up so they can't sneak out! lol
Last edited by ~clover~; March 30th, 2010 at 10:46 AM.
OK well our 4 weren't planned and we were really worried about the financial but TBH we're coping fine!
Our biggest expense is swimming lessons ATM. With 3 of them it is a bit over $400 a term but I want my kids to be able to swim properly. We only started them 6 months ago and they're doing well
School isn't much for us besides the uniforms and a couple of hundred at the start of the year for books. M is due for new uniforms due to a growth spurt but his brothers will wear the old ones.
Food, yes well sometimes it can be costly but then it depends on how much you rely on convenience foods I think. I enjoy baking. My kids don't get packaged snacks (ie museli bars, chips etc) in their lunchbox at all. Partly because of me trying to reduce additives from their diet and also because they got bored with them!
Going places can cost a bit too eg the aquariaum etc but you really only go to places like that once in a blue moon.
Thankyou so much for your input ladies! We dont know anyone IRL with more kids than us so we have no one to ask advice from to either confirm or erase DHs concerns. And I can understand his concerns.
I think our biggest issue would be a bigger car. Currently we have a Ford Falcon we just about own outright and have a debt for the 5 seater Toyota Kluger that we love. I think we could trade in both cars (as we dont need two right now) and get a 7-8 seater car, or even just trade in the Kluger for a 7 seater Territory or Kia Carnival without being in more debt or ending up with an older car. We'd have quite a while to sort that out though.
As for exta curricular activities; currently we have the three boy in swimming lessons once a week on a sunday all at the same time. We pay $40 for it. Which is quite reasonable. An extra child would make it $53. Definately affordable for us. Eventually they obviously will pick something else to do and I will make sure when the time comes we have the money to afford it; but with 3 (possibly 4) boys the likelyhood of them doing the same sport is high, and with their age gap being so small (for the first 3 anyway) they would eventually be atleast 2 in the same age group team if not all 3! So its managable.
I think his biggest concern is that they wont get as much one on one time with a parent as he'd like them too. I dont feel thats the case, the youngest will get one on one time obviously because the others would be in preschool/kindy a few days a week; and once the new baby hits 10-12mths we become able to do things one-on-one or both of us with one of them because we can leave the baby with the other parent or a babysitter. In the end though, the two friends I have who grew up with several siblings dont have any issues with being one of four or more, they actually have fond memories of fun and companionship. I dont think how many siblings you have impacts that greatly on your life in the end. I dont think anyone seriously wishes they DIDNT have any siblings but alot wish they had MORE siblings.
I have been watching this thread with interest as I am in the same position as Freya, my husband is also unsure if he will cope with the demands a 4th child will place on the family.
I got alot out of everyones answers, but Mbear it did stike a chord, like you I too would like to have some luxuries for my children, but I think the we could manage.
Reading from other posts, food well I'm feeding 3 boys already and we don't eat steak now. And at present swimming lessons are the only mandatory sport given we live around dams I think it is essential that they be confident around water.
So now for me it is back to trying to convince DH that we can do it, that I will manage (he is a farmer and not around much) and that we will love being a family of 6.
Good luck Freya hope you have success in convincing your DH also
Oh, one more thing. If I asked my girls, "what would you prefer, your little brother, or more of life's luxuries?" I'm pretty sure Tom would win hands down. Siblings can be some of the most enriching relationships they'll ever have.
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