thanks for that tara. We know she has "damaged them" (to quote our solicitor) with what she has said, and that it is going to be a long slow journey. As the solicitor has said to her in the letter, this is about the kids only, not what each parent thinks of each other. DH is happy that she has moved on, he just wants to see his kids again, that is what he has wanted since we started going out together.

I have told him that our kids (when we start ivf) are not being brought into this world to "replace" his other kids, that he needs to resolve his issues with the kids, that he needs access to his kids to help heal the hole in his heart where they should be.

I know that it may be more than 6 months after DH gets to see his kids that I meet them for the first time. I am prepared for this, I'm also prepared for the hurt man that will come home to me after the visits, coz I know it will hurt him if they sit there during the visit just glaring at him.

I want them to be a part of our lives, my father died when I was 6 and I always said, if he was to go away I would have prefered him to have divorced my mother so I would have been able to have some relationship with him.