Give me the reality of having 4....

[*LittleMissSummer*]

I can tell you that being one of 4 sucked, I wish i was one of 3. When we were a family of 5 I felt like there was still time for me and we still got to have holidays away and stuff, but once number four joined the family we didnt go anywhere for holidays and there was never enough individual attention for us.

:yeahthat:

- their very supportive of each other
- buying in bulk means you save money in the long run
- yourve always got some one to hug
- there's never a middle child
- you really get your monies worth at all you can eat buffets

:yeahthat:

There are good parts and there are bad. But my mum is thankful that my brother was born later on but he never felt left out even though hes on the only boy, he always got special treatment which sucked sometimes

[Arimeh]

Just wanted to say i wish you all the best and i hope your decision isn't too hard to make, after hearing everything im sure lots of others can add about having the fourth. Goodluck x

Thanks mate xxx

I can tell you that being one of 4 sucked, I wish i was one of 3. When we were a family of 5 I felt like there was still time for me and we still got to have holidays away and stuff, but once number four joined the family we didnt go anywhere for holidays and there was never enough individual attention for us.

Well I think being one of 3 sucked, so I guess we'll always think the grass is greener on the other side ay

And honestly I dont really know whats good or bad about having 4. I just love my kids and you just deal with the situation at hand as it arrives.

I think thats my problem. I see the fantastic little people they are and so overwhelmed with the love that I just want more and more and more!!! Even when they make me so cranky I could shoot them lol

Trillian - thank you soo much for replying - I think DH is wanting to address some of those things that you said But yes, I agree with everything that you said about 2 could cost you just as much as 4 could. And thats usually the way, if you have extra money, you usually spend it on shiat that you don't really need ... lol...
Oh - and we don't have a HUGE yard with the unit, its pretty tiny, but a few parks and stuff around town (its a small town where we are moving to)

[Trillian]

Curly, just further to what you said about the support. This is why it's really important to try to build your village. If you don't have family you expand your friendship circle so that you build your own little support network that helps out when you need it. We do have a village made up of family, but we choose to do it all on our own. It's tough and we aren't doing it to be martyrs and say we did it all ourselves, but thats just the way we want to do it. We've been so lucky that we've not had kids with sleep issues till we had #4 and in all honesty its been pretty cruisy for us really so I think I have had it a lot easier than a lot of other people we know, but then you make the most of it. If life hands you lemons you make lemonade kwim?

In regards to being able to spend enough time with your kids, well you make time. You can be just as busy with half as many children and you still need to make yourself find the time. It does all work out though.

With sibling relationships, we have 6.5yrs between our DS's and they are the best of mates. THe age hasn't been a barrier at all to them forming a very close bond and it melts my heart to see it. Sometimes he is the pesky little brother, but you get that with a closer gap too.

Either way hun, you have alot of food for thought over the next few years

[Arimeh]

Curly - thanks hon. Oh - and for your pelvic instability - go and see Carlie at the nambour physio - across the road from the hospital. She is brilliant. And tell her I said g'day

[UntoldAngel]

I don't know what it's like to HAVE 4 but I was one of 5 children in my family... basically older bro was 4years older, then me, bro #2 11months later, bro #3 11months after that, and then sister 4years after that...
disadvantage was we had to share and things were cramped (3bedroom house for 7people) cos parent's couldn't afford to move
advantage there was always someone to play with and and odd number meant no hung jury on decisions
For holidays we usually went camping as it was a lot cheaper option than finding accommodation for 7, and it allowed us kids to run free
Schooling and sports I agree with Trillian - school uniform hand-me-downs are a good way to save money, unless they are like my brothers and require new clothes and shoes every term and extra-curricular activities often see you running around after the kids and making schedules around them when often they don't enjoy what it is they are doing, but they are doing it because they feel 'they have to'

[Trillian]

Oh the yard situation. If you have a few good parks close by then it should be fine. We live out of town so we need the yard for them because it's not like we have a park down the road LOL. You just need to have that outlet for them to run it out of them kwim?

[Kitt3n]

Mel - convince DH to have 3?! PLEASE?

[maz]

Curly. I have no family around me...sorry may I correct that, I have my parents up the road but my children have never stay a night with them, let alone anyone. They dont get baby sat by anyone, we are a family unit. Its the choice J and me made when we started our family.
Yes I have been through years of no sleep, ive also been through 8 years this coming January of an autistic boy who would pyhsically hurt himself and me, scream ect and he only slept 4 hours max until he was almost 4. To top it of, almost 2 years ago I had a little boy who almost died, was given an outcome that he would need a wheel chair, IF he lived that long....and you know what...you just learn to lift butt and keep smiling because the love you have for your children in your heart pushes all those negetive things away and all you see is their smiling face, or the hugs and cherished giggles your other children share with them.
Yes it is tough...but by god I wouldnt have it any other way. A family is built on love and respect of each other...and really I dont think it matters how many children you have, the love just keeps growing.

[The_Gudism_Master]

odd number meant no hung jury on decisions
'

haha never looked at it this way!!