how do you deal with your partners ex, your step sons mother being a **** head?

she never rings the poor boy, she makes him ring and ask to go and see her.
she live 6 hours away, forgets his birthday, doesnt get him anything for christmas

she has 5 other kids which isnt the issue in my eyes.

how do you deal with the poor emotional abuse she is putting him through, his is 8 and doesnt understand it all and doesnt relaise what is happening to him.

how can you comfort someone being treated like that by their own mother.

and to make it worse, he rebels against me and his father, and tells us he hates us and wants to live with his mother who does nothing for him.

we dropped him off to see her for 4 weeks over teh school hollidays and she couldnt even give him a hug or show any affection towards him, her excuse this time was she was sick and had the flu. so i stood up and said well we have all been sick and he magically didnt get sick so he would be fine to have a hug.

it confuses me how you can do that.

and hubby just says thats how she is wont chnage ehr and there is nothing i can say or do to change it and make it better for him because he wants to see her.