the thing that got up my nose, was ex MIL said the same things to me, at the time though i was 18 and old enough to ignore her, you see i became a council worker, i was told it was a dead end job and i wouldnt earn enough, i now am a team leader, acting supervisor have a trade in horticulture and am half way through my diploma, i am still at the same council and i actually bring home more then my ex H and my current DH who both happen to be electricians, but besides that i love my job, i wanted to work outside with nature and thats exactly what i do.
My beautiful DD can do what ever makes her happy.
My Ex MIL and H have never understood the relationship my DD has not only with her grandparents from both our sides but also my HUbbies family and all great grandparents. She loves family i think its because they make her feel secure after all she went through a seperation and divorce at the tender age of 1.
oh tan - I so understand your anger and frustration. the lioness within you just rears up doesn't it when someone, especially someone you would think would know better!, says hurtful careless things to your children. My ex MIL has said some horrendous things to my DD - including a statement about being fat. I could have throttled her. especially as DD isn't even remotely fat. After that particular comment we went through MONTHS of repairing her body image, and still have to do repair work on occasion.
I think you did the best thing ever for you daughter Tan, you were there for her, you held her while she cried, comforted her and rebuilt her dreams. You were a wonderful mummy....
Ahh poo to negative people. You are supportive of your daughter, teaching her that if she has a dream then she should give it a go, teaching her to be confident, that she can achieve many great things. With your encouragement, she'll learn to try new things and take educated risks, and the more those pay off and work out well (even if 'working out well' just means that it's a lot of fun), the less she'll pay attention to negative and unhelpful comments.
Maybe you guys could grab a camera and take photos of...I dunno, what's in your area that can be photographed? Ducks? Rosellas? If one turns out well, maybe blow it up and frame it - how encouraging would that be!
What a pain that people try to be practical and adult with kids...let them see all the possibilities that life offers them, let them be kids! As if money will make anyone happy anyway!
No wonder you're peeved at the ex's, but I'd say your encouragement and love will speak much louder than their negativity.
blah - bloody MILs, especailly x MILS! (i know exactly where you are coming from here hun, and wont even begin to give you examples).
My DD is a sensitive littel thing too - she still cries about her dog that passed away over a year ago. LIttle things like that, she has a tough exterior but the most precious of tender little hearts.
Her "fathers" family often say and do things just like that which upset her no end. The sad thing about it is that they have pushed her away, she doesnt want to go and see them, not even to call them no matter how i encourage her. (i still think they are her family so she should still have a good relationship with them, buggered if ill ever understand the mentality).
So i guess its up to you to keep your little girls dreams alive - i would love to hear from you in 15 years to find out she has become Sir David Attenbrough's still life photography assistant!
You go little one, follow your heart - nasty words from grandma wont make you happy, but if taking photos makes you smile then that smile is worth more money than will ever end up in your pocket in granma's choice of career.
Thank you for all your kind words, she has her own digital camera that she got for christmas, Dh and i talked about it last night and we are going to buy her the card to go in it and then i will take her down to the park so she can snap away at the ducks etc. We have 2 cats and 2 dogs and 2 guinea pigs that im sure will be great subjects for her.
Kitt3n the same thing is happening with my DD now, she was there for the weekend but phoned me this morning to come get her.
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You are supportive of your daughter, teaching her that if she has a dream then she should give it a go, teaching her to be confident, that she can achieve many great things. With your encouragement, she'll learn to try new things and take educated risks, and the more those pay off and work out well (even if 'working out well' just means that it's a lot of fun), the less she'll pay attention to negative and unhelpful comments.
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