LOL Onyx!!! I love your comment that they are decent people - I think that is a great compliment and agree you do need to have some shared time/experiences to be friends. I guess from my ss's point of view my sisters and I were taking their mum's attention and love possibly so that has fueled the fire to some degree, however we are now all adults with kids of our own it is just silly.
Trish - that must be hard, you are so right about it being the same, as you are stating what is acceptable and appropriate in front of your kids.
Pac - that relationship sounds great for your DD, awesome!
Not so much for me, but Mum's parents seperated when she was 3. Her Dad went off and had a new family, and saw very little of my Mum and Uncle, but Nan remarried when Mum was 11 (I think). She loves her Step-Dad and considers him to be her Dad (often when speaking to people she will call him Dad rather than Step-Dad). Pop (Mum's Step-Dad) had a Son from a previous marriage and Mum considers him to be her Brother and I've never heard her refer to him as her Step-Brother. We have family gatherings all the time (christmas, easter, birthdays, etc) so we're all quite close as a family.
My parents separated when I was around 25, Mum became partnered within a couple of months of leaving Dada (whole nother set of issues there) she has now married this man. He has 1 son from his first marriage (Mum is his 3rd) I have only met him once which was at there wedding. Don't have anything agains him as I don't know him. I don't consider him a step brother, just as I don't see Mum's husband as a step father. I think if my parents separated when I was still a child and the new partners played a part in my unbringing I might feel differently.
Dad on the otherhand, well lets just say he is having a lot of trouble letting go of it all, lots of bitterness in him. Bit sad really but he won't help himself.
Oh must say Mum's husband is quite good with my boys, he isn't called Grandpa they call him by his first name but he tries hard with them which is all I can ask.
I have experiences all over the shop for this one!!!
My mum and Dad split when I was 18.. she remarried a man who has three kids.. because of how my parents split and how my mum and her new husband got together... out of the 7 kids, only three of us are close to both of them. And yes I do consider two of his kids as my step sisters, but as we were all grown up, we didnt so much have a sibling relationship, and as all the others dont get along we dont really do the whole family gathering thing. And we live hours away from eachother.. but I am not against seeing them.. and my kids know Mum new husband as Pa.. what is hard is that my sister doesnt have anything to do with them as a couple.. and her kids have never met Pa.. so as our kids all grow up- it will be hard for her to explain to her kids why they dont get to go to Nannas house and why my kids know Pa but they dont!!!
Then on DH's side... his parents split up when he was about 2 or 3.. his dad remarried a lady who had two kids, and then they had another two kids together.. and DH is the odd one out and isnt really part of that family. We see them occassionally, but not very often, no bad blood, we just arnt "in" with it all. What I find sad though is that DH's Dad is a fantastic Poppy to his new wifes kids kids. (STill with me???) but he doesnt make even a tiny bit of effort with our kids. We get birthday and xmas presents, but they have never met DD and they only met DS because we travelled 15 hours to see them. So I find that abit sad.
The I am a step mum to DH's kids who HE doesnt see very often (history repeating itself a bit) coz he slpit up with their mum when the youngest wasnt even born yet. They have a step dad they have known their whole life who is fabulous and to be honest DH is a pretty crap Dad and doesnt make alot of effort with them. I find that I try, but then I feel bad that they hear more from me than from their dad, they are in their late teens now, and i hope that things can change with them a bit so that DH makes more effort, but they will never be as close as they should be, and they havent met my kids either, so they dont have a step-sibling relationship with them. We have told DS who they are and he has seen pictures, but he doesnt really get it yet, but as he grows older we will keep telling him and DD.
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