First of all I just wanted to say sorry for what is going on in your life right now. It must be a very difficult time for you. It does get easier though and its great that you are starting to think ahead.

My husband came into the picture when my dd Jess was 3 and Emmy was 18 months. I had separated from their birth father when I was pregnant with Em. My dh and I had known each other all our lives and had been together before. It felt very very natural for us and progressed quite quickly...we actually married within a year. The children were very keen on him and still are lol especially Em as she was so little. Jess would test him alot with her behaviour and we would have a few talks about being nice and what is appropriate behaviour. I was and still largely am the disciplinarian...so while he always backs me up its really been more me. We have gone on to have 2 more children. The kids have called Darren Dad from the time Olivia was born and able to say it with her babbling. While they have their birth dad in their lives it is Darren whom they regard as their father but that is more because of their own birth dad's lacking and not anything that has resulted from Darren being in the picture. Many people who do not know us assume that we are a nuclear family. In all ways we appear to be so as we have been married for many years and the children are very close. I think its easier for littlies to accept new partners when they are younger..as they get older I think its alot more difficult so we really have been blessed with very few problems. HTH. All the best for you and your future.

Jo