maybe your children are reflecting the way you speak to them. Are you and DH screaming at each other infront of them? They quit obviously think its the way to do things if your showing them that.
Screaming at a child is just as bad as hitting them pysically in my eyes and yes we are all guilty of it.
Scrap the reward chart and time out...sit at the table and TALK to your kids...its amazing what they will tell you.
We have a job list that we all discussed after I said to mine that its hard for me to do everything and need a little help..so they told me were they can help me and that has become their chore. Our reward at the end of the week is to go to the local playground with BBQ facilities and to have a snag in bread...sometimes the simple things can be the greatest.
Good luck
he dosent have any one outside the home he could be copying or on tv? my 4yo has taken on his 15yo unkles attitude, witch involves yelling how he hates me when asked or told to do something, punching the walls, if told no, trying to sneak to get his way and hurting his younger brother, its gotten to the point were we only visit grandpa if he is not there, and yes i to yell at the boys, i hate doing it, but at the moment it is the only way i feel my eldest hears anything. i just hope we get him out of it befor new bub arrives, or i get to stressed to manage!
hope you find something that works, no cartoons worked here for a bit, but like everything else, he just stoped caring about it.
Hey for dinner i at times split the times kids eat.... like my little one 28 mth old will eat either his veges or wheetbix (yes for dinner lol) at 5pm then he is changed and ready for bed by 6/7pm with a bottle.... Then with him out of the way the main dinner is cooking and dh gets home at 6sh so we dh me ds 16 and ds 10 eat at 8pm at the latest! then after dinner ds 10 helps clear the plates and then he brushes his teeth toilet then bed to read for 1/2 hr depending the time of course.
With you maybe at 4 pm your younger ones ds 12 ds 9 could help do the veges or make the table for dinner whilst you get your baby and ds1 fed and settled and put 6mth old in basinette or cot or wherever .. then you could tackle the ds5 with his bath/homework and maybe somehting to eat depending on how ratty he is lol and then by 6pm at least you have 3 including the baby organised fed and ready for bed . Sometimes the whole family eating at the table has to fly out the window when your doing it alone .... NOW it is about 6pm and stuff when your husband comes home (i say it that way as it seems he doesnt help anyway so...) you can actually have a glass of wine and continue with your dinner and hopefully by 7pm you dh and the two older kids will be fed ..... Does that sound like a plan that would be doable at your house?
I don't have such a big family and I really admire all of you who manage it; I really don't think that I could.
Can I ask why your hubby's job falls on you if decides to slack off? That's not right OR fair.
I'm cr*p at staying organized, but really find that choosing a couple of things and making them not negotiable helps. If I see dinner time blowing out they get baked beans with toast soldiers, or eggs, or toasted sandies, but they need to eat by 6:00.
I agree you need to have serious words with your ds' carer, they should be following your instructions to the letter and they need to know you mean business.
That's two battles down.
I can't help you with the noise or fighting, but I do feel for you.
I think you and your man need to find a different way of communicating. Is counselling a possibility?
You must be feeling so lost; please be gentle to yourself, it won't always be like this
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Large families coping skills? I need help!
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