Larger family Chat Thread

Hey Jo - you never know, we have wanting to get off the usual roads and see some off the back country. We are looking to buy some land at some stage but not till we have had a good look around. The last 2 months we have had our bus on 20 acres and the kids have loved it!! We are not city people with both me and DH being brought up on large farms/stations in NZ. We want to bypass Sydney. The biggest place we have to stop is Coffs Harbour to see some friends then we'll be back inland Stopping in April in rural victoria to have baby at a friends house, does it still count as a homebirth if its someone elses home??????

HAHA Most definitely still a homebirth!!

Hope you do end up out this way.

Wow Hall, you are living our dream, we too want to back up everything and travel Australia , and we will one day ( soon I hope ) we have already see all of the easst coast both in land and coast, we cant wait to do WA nexted, and go to the tip of cape york too, we have seen Ulura and thought it was amazing, just keep in mind that if you go in winter the nights there are bloody freezing, we werent prepared for just how cold it got, we ended having to put on the oven and heater just to warm up before we went to sleep, so make sure you pack your winter wollies, but the days are lovely... ( we might have found it extra cold as we were living in Darwin at the time so were used to extream heat )...

we have lived in Melbourne, Sydney, Cairns, Darwin and we are now in Mackay, we drive up and down the coast every year so know loads of different places too, if you need any help with what to see let me know and I will try to stear you in the right dirction...

coming from 7 kids who all had our own room in the end, you do become selfish, I remember my sisters have huge fights about rooms and clothes, when they were older they even got locks on their doors and cupboards to keep the rest of us out ( 6 girls so some girls had way better clothes than others coz they were already in the work force while we were stuck in school still ) have to say I always asked the one sister who clothes were always taken, as we were the same size she didnt mind so much, but when the sisters who were 2 or 3 sizes bigger than her stole her clothes and streched them all hell broke lose lol poor poor sufering Dad, dont know how he cope so well...

AFM we are still TTC our 4th baby with out any luck at all, its getting me quite down, and sometimes think mis it worht all this heart ache, I know I would be over the moon to know that we were having another little baby, but it just feels sometimes that if it was meant to be then it would have been already... why couldnt I be one of those lucky people who dont even have to TTC, dont get me wrong I know I am better off than alot of people, but 12 mths and still no baby in sight is hard to take...

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We are currently tossing up the sleepng arrangments for the girls. One option is to have 2 girls share a room and create a toy room. So my questions are: Do your kids like sharing a room? Would you prefer each child had their own rooms? Which 2 should I put together - DD1 (4yo who likes her own space) and DD2 ( 2yo, light sleeper)/or DD2 and baby? We are also considering bunks, but I am not overally confident with putting my 4 yo up so high.

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We have our 10 and 8 in one room and we pretend to have the 3 and 1 year old boys in another. We want to get bunk beds for the boys and as long as the top bunk has rails I think you would be fine although I do remember being concerned about the bunk bed arrangement when we launched it for the girls. My oldest though was a less restless sleeper so I felt a little better about it.

My boys share a room but rarely at night time. My 3 year old really hates being away from us, he feels lonely. He usually starts off in our bed, transfers to his and then mid way through the night is back in with us. Right now its a little cute - he snuggles us, but I suspect the closer to 40 he gets the less "cute" it will seem. Plus, we don't want to share the bed with him and his wife :)

Just barging in - I'm not a LF mum but am from a LF.

Check out Bunkers in Blackburn- they have lowline bunks, I have them in an L shape for my two boys (6 and 4) and it works wonders. Google them. They're an Australian company using Australian timber, which I also like.

PMSL at you Rob! Imagine sharing a bed with your son and his wife.... eeek!

Hi ladies,
Bekz i just wanted to say i fell from a bunk bed when i was 5 and broke my arm quite bad. I think if you can get ones like divvy said do. hope all you ladies have a fantastic year xxx

Hi Girls,

Hope you don't mind me crashing your thread, but I need to advice and perspective on having 4 children.

As you can see I currently have 3 beautiful boys, my eldest is 4.5, 3 year old and Jack is coming up 1. Due to not wanting a huge gap DH and I have been in discussions about a 4th child.
Discussion tends to go, me, I really really feel that I need one more baby, him, I don't think I could cope with another one. So we go around and around in circles.

Couple of questions

One of his concerns is lack of support, we live 50kms from nearest town on a farm. My family are over 2 hours away. MIL is OK at helping and I'm sure once kids are at school she will help out their. I find I cope OK without support. How do others who are more isolated cope with 4 kids, especially once school etc kicks in.

Another question or concern is that, I would really love to try and sway for a girl, but am concerned that would she become spoilt, indulged etc being the only girl, would the boys ressent her thinking we only went back for a girl (I would have had 4 children iresspective of gender). I suppose I am really worried about this as DH's sister, who is middle of 2 boys, is one completely spoilt, *****y, self centred and shallow person and I would hate for my child to be like her. ( I know that partly SIL is like she is due to upbringing, I still see it today, Mummy buys her a $400 gift, just because she hasn't asked for anything for 2 months "sorry went off topic there") Not implying that for those that have 3 boys and then a girl that would be the case, just wondering how you avoid it, when you have say 3 boys who have hand me downs, share toys etc. Then if you have a girl, she has her own toys, barbies etc, doesn't have to share clothes.

Re logisitics, we live in an large old (needing work done) farm house, so bedrooms aren't an issues, older boys currently share and I could honestly see DS 3 ending up in their with them too. Don't think my eldest will ever won't to sleep on his own.

Car we are looking at updating in next year anyway. Only thing would be that I would prefer a 4wd, just with roads and needing diesel motor. (any suggestions).

Sorry for the long post, I am just really at a cross roads, I don't know whether to push DH for the 4th, or learn to live with only having 3, how will the family dynamics change if it is a girl. Will DH resent it if we have another boy. Ahhhh its just too hard.

Thanks for reading.

Hey Megs I dont have 4 children yet, but thought I would give you my thoughts on 4 ...

as for a car 4x4 would be best, BHL and I like landcrusers best, we have had an 80, sold it a while ago but if / when we get UTD with a 4th BHL is going to go a get himeself a 100, there is heaps of roon in them even when the back seats are up...

I dont think you should be worring yourself about what will happen if you have a girl or a boy as you would love them just as much, if you have a girl, she will properly become a tom boy with 3 brothers about :) and as you have seen what happen with you sil you will ja=ust have to make sure that doesnt happen...

Good luck TTC your next little one..

:hug: Megs.

I agree with GTF, I think if you are aware of the risks of spoiling your 'princess' you are more likely to avoid it. And from the sounds of your post, wanting to sway for a girl doesn't mean a boy would be any less welcome.
You sound like you would cope fine with 4, and you have the room etc.
Family dynamics change with any new arrival, boy or girl.

I think the real issue is between you & your DH...my DH didn't want a 4th either & I was desperate. I was trying to resign myself to not having another when she surprised us ;) and as it happened he was as thrilled as I was).

I really felt like there was another baby there for me... I was dreaming of her, and waking up crying... and I only told DH after I was PG, then he turned around & said 'why didn't you tell me this earlier'.

So my point is, I think it's really important that he at least understands what it means to you, if you know where you each are then you can talk about it IYKWIM?

Good luck hun :hug:

Thanks guys for your replys,

Green Tree, I am leaning towards a Toyata, at the stage have been looking at the Prado but not sure about the new ones haven't read that great a reviews.

And yes you are probably right re the spoiling, I am not the same type of parent as my MIL, and so my child wouldn't necessarily turn out the same as hers.

Thanks Fluer, DH and I have spoken, I have told him that I will seriuosly think about it but the more I do think no it would be easier with three I still go back to wanting a 4th.

And after reading this thread I can see that it is do-able, whilst I would be busy, really its just more washing in the mounds that I do already.

we have a100 series land cruiser and love
the prados dont have as much boot room..

we have done a nsw loop in it and loved it.

im tossing up tryiong for number 4 but hubby is unsure.

I might have to start looking at the Landcruisers, they just seem so big I would feel like I'm driving a truck.

Must say was very disappointed with lack of boot space in the prado especially when the 3rd row seats were up. The Nissan Pathfinder had a bit more room but is a lot narrower.

Good luck with hubby, it makes it hard when one seems to want it more than another,

HI, I use to be on this site a couple of years ago. I lost my password ect and I just recently reset it. I have 5 children the last where twins and we just found out we are having number 6 in December.

Congratulations cathie5.

How old are your twins now?

Congrats on number 6 and welcome back.

Regards,
Dianne

Thanks for the welcome ladies, My twins are 18 months. Sam and Hana.

Just thought I would stick my nose back in here now that things have settled down to some sort of normal (whats that?) after having new baby. All of a sudden I fell like a large family when I say I have 8 kids, at 7 it still didn't seem so many!

Well i am finally admitting this will be me in just a few short months. I'm not sure how im going to cope.

We have already bought a new car. 7 seater Ford Territory. And we've also just bought a new house that we'll be moving into in around 4 weeks. It's only a 3 bedroom but we will be adding on a 4th bedroom in the new year.

The only thing i'm concerned about is how am i going to look after a newborn while attending to the needs of 3 others. DD will be at school, fair enough, but i have to get her there and pick her up which will take 30mins there and 30mins back after we move, at least until next year when she'll start at the local primary school. We don't have any family near by to help. DH works 12 hour shifts, 6am-6pm. He gets most of thursday and all of friday off which i am so thankful for but for those 3 days where he's at work...I'm starting to go bonkers just thinking about it.

Halltribe: Congratulations, wow it only feels like yesterday that I read that you were expecting again. I hope all is going well with you and your little bub. Isn't it funny how little things sound different, eg saying 7 kids and now 8. I'm sure thats what my husband is like, for some reason 4 children sounds soooo much more than 3.

Antheia: Congratulations to you also. I'm so envious right now, I'm still working hard on convinving DH that we need one more baby. Yours are a similar age to my 3.
I'm sure you will be fine, it must seem daunting for you though. My DH is a farmer and during our really busy times I know that he will be gone from 7am til about 10pm. In some ways it just makes me more organised as I know I will be doing it all on my own. Maybe on the Thurs and Fridays try and organise some time to yourself, or just with one child to give you a bit of a break.

Just saw this thread and thought mmmmm wonder if i can be classed as a large family!!! Antheia we seem to have a similar group of children!!!
DS is 6
DS is 3
DD is almost 2
and we are expecting again in August!!!

We already had an 8 seater car so we dont need a new car, we just moved into a bigger house in october last year!! I am a little concerned about the school run situation except three days a week i have to pick up ds2 from kindy and ds1 from school so that means getting out of the car twice in about 10 minutes!!!!!!!!!:o Not so much worried its just a pain!!! Honestly it will be ok i have done it all before and it will all work out in the end!!!

Looking forward to getting to know you all in here!!

Nikki

It's very quiet in here.......where is everybody?

Man I forgot about this thread ROFL and I started it

Anth hon - you'll be surprised how you will cope...it all just kicks in so to speak..I think having 4 kids is easy then having the 3..although atm the eldest 3 are driving my INSANE trying to do shoulder stands on the lounge room floor.

Man I forgot about this thread ROFL and I started it

Anth hon - you'll be surprised how you will cope...it all just kicks in so to speak..I think having 4 kids is easy then having the 3..although atm the eldest 3 are driving my INSANE trying to do shoulder stands on the lounge room floor.

Maz you are a dork....

I tell ya my 3 are driving us nuts, but I guess thats just coz we have been going away every weekend since moving here and thats a 2.5hr drive, so plenty of time to drive us all nuts in a car... God I hope it gets better.... soon

me a dork NEVER

I think I have created amonster with number 4!!! man he is madness, he body slams the boys and then tries the same on mini me who screams blue murder (she's only little)

I need some land...the kids are getting to big and need some space to run and poke at things :lol:

I reckon 5 kids qualifies as a large family :D

I do have a biggish gap between first three and last two so at times that makes it easier but then to swap the baby mum hat to the teenage mums one does prove a bit trying.

How do you ladies know when to stop? DH and I decided after Scout (number 4) that he was the last but I said to DH when he was only a few weeks old that he had better go for the snip because I knew I didnt feel finished. He said I was allowed one more and Yay :dance: we got our girl.

Now Peppar is almost 8 weeks and I hate the fact she is growing so fast and she is my last baby. I know if I really tried I could convince DH for "just one more" but I mean I have to stop somewhere dont I?
I dont look at the financial side of it as being a decider because if I was to accidentally fall pregnant we would make it work so same goes for a planned one. Although it would mean a new car as we have a 7 seater now but would need more.
Give some voice of reason advise please

Congrats on your little Girl FEijoa.

I hear you on when to stop, I'm wanting one more, convincing DH is proving to be hard, he's doesn't sound like yours. And yes I would love a little girl, I think if I had a girl then I would be tempted to go for #5 to try for another girl so there would be sisters. I love being pregnant, and miss it so much.
I do know that if I do get my one more that will be it, DH just wouldn't cope with anymore so I will then happily allow him to get the snip (much to his delight)

Sorry I don't think I have been the voice of reason you were wanting.

How do 'I' know when to stop???? I'm at number 8 and haven't got there yet!!!!

Yep girls we are crazy and the kids drive us crazy and life is totally insane but ya know ya wouldn't swap it....and I know we have those moments when.......

:ROFL: Im to scared to go back and get another girl. hahahahaa one is enough she drives me INSANE but I love it :p
I have had my tubes removed.....I still get that pinch though of how nice it would be.
Good dame it I can hear DS2 stomping in his room

GOD GIVE ME STRENGTH TODAY!!!!!

LOL Maz I have 2 girls, man are they hard work, boys are so much easier, but I love them anyway, BHL said that if we end up having a girl ( if we get our 4th ) he will go work out on the rigs and only come home for booty calls... lovely... But I can see his point God help us when their hormons kick in!

boys are easier???? ya reckon?

I have been at school this afternoon because DS8 is a bully! :redface:
I know he is boisterous and very competitive with his older brothers but she has had some parents complaining about him being too rough and name calling in the playground.
We have had behaviour issues with him for a few months now but I didnt realise it had passed over to school as well.
Trouble is this child has absolutely NO consequence of actions whatsoever. He doesnt seem to have a currency that affects him and we have tried everything we can think of.

She is going to talk to the behavioural expert they have at school to see if there is something else we can try,because she agreed with me when I said he just doesnt get it. It doesnt go in, well it certainly doesnt stay there anyway.

Today is one of those days when I think I am done!

Hi ladies,
I have 2 girls and you can give me a boy any day . I love them but gee they need alot of attention. All is well with my tribe, still feeling sick with the m/s. Trying to look after the 5 kids is alot thank goodness for my mum and hubby.:)
Cathie

Hey ladies, was wondering if I could come back in to the forums. I have been very busy with the 5 kids now but just lately have been getting that feeling that another one would be nice. Not sure if DF would agree with me lol but I can only ask.

I'm hearing all you others on having girls!!!!! My oldest is 15 and what a nightmare. We have been told that at 16 she is legally allowed to leave home so she is and also that she is going to finish school (year 10) at Tafe but I don't think she realises that she will need to work nearly full time to pay for her rent, food, etc. I'm hoping she comes to her senses before the beginning of next year of I'm not going to hold my breath. We had to have the contraceptive implant put in when she was only 14 as she was going out to friends places for sleepovers and getting drunk (only found out this when she admitted it as we don't drink and had no idea she was). AAAARRRRGGGHHHHHH

I have had some trying times with my now DS 11. He seems to be picking up on his older sister's attitude so all I want to do is slap him up the side of the head to get this notion right out of it. He is my sporty boy and plays soccer but he also plays school cricket, netball, football and soccer. He trains 2 days a week for weekend soccer and then runs all day at school with the various teams he is in so I think he is just overworked and not eating properly.

I've had to laugh about some of your responses to housework and washing and OMG can I so relate. I just can't keep up to date on any of it. There is always clean clothes waiting to be folded in my loungeroom and dirty clothes waiting to be taken out to the laundry in my hallway and bathroom and dishes waiting to be washed in my sink. Never mind the sweeping, mopping and dusting (what's that??? ) I'm hoping that later this year we can afford to hire a friend of mine to come over and help me clean up once a week. We do have a house that can be a 5 bedroom with 2 loungerooms but we are using it as a 4br with a dining room and 2 loungerooms lol. We are also lucky enough to have an inground pool so in summer the kids have somewhere to play that is not indoors.

I didn't realise I had written an epic lol so I'll sign off now and chat some more later.

Kim

Hi KimB...
I have a 15yoDD and a12yo DS ...big hugs to you :hug: lol, we are having one of those weeks :rolleyes: it is attitude central here this week. I must have spiked the food or something by mistake ..... :think:

lol Fleur, i think i might spike the food but with some tranquilisers pmsl. I think it might be the only way to get some peace in the house for a couple of hours. Sometimes it is hard to tell the difference between my 15yo and my 3yo lol. They both love to chuck tantrums

OMG KimB reading your wonderful experiences with your 15 year old girl has mad me come to the conclusion that my 2 girls are going to be locked in there bedrooms when they turn 12 years. And PLEASE number 6 be a boy.

KILL ME!!!!!! :ROFL:
School holiday's have started here and its hell today!!!
Tank has done nothing but whinge and carry on becasue he wants what ever dudie and mario have in their hands...so then he starts hitting them...

Im staying up because I need some peace and quiet ...... me and my cuppa.

I hear ya Maz!
Scout is constantly screaming at his brothers for whatever they have. And the stop its, go aways are driving me mantal.
Lady P is not getting much sleep, because of all the said screaming, so she is miss cranky pants.
Then because im a glutton for punishment I am looking after a friends two kids today while she works!!:shakehead:

Positive afirmations:: I love school holidays, I will not kill my children :lol:

ROFL Stacey...whats another 2 when you have 5 already :p

we're heading to Melbourne on the weekend because I need someone to distract the kids and MIL is in control freak mode :ROFL: I might get some peace Baaahahahhaahhaha

this stupid rainy weather (I know I shouldnt complain because we need it) but all the kids need is to go outside and run it off!!!

We have school hols starting after today - OMG will I survive until the end?????? Ok 15yo DD has decided to stay at home now but still get a job and finish yr10 at tafe. We are going to write up a contract and we both have input into what goes in it. After much negotiation we will sign it and it will be valid for 12 months. I'm hoping that we will either have a caravan for her to rent from us or we fix the garage into a little flat. That way she has her own place but still is close enough for me to keep an eye on her lol.

[QUOTE]OMG KimB reading your wonderful experiences with your 15 year old girl has mad me come to the conclusion that my 2 girls are going to be locked in there bedrooms when they turn 12 years. And PLEASE number 6 be a boy./QUOTE]

Cathie5 believe me we have thought of doing that with our others lol I still have 2 more girls to go yet and I'm not looking forward to it. I agree let #6 be a boy lol (not that we are pg yet ;) )

I get to have a couple of days off during the holidays as I'm going away with my mum for a weekend. We will take in a show and spend some time shopping and just doing all the mum/daughter stuff that we have never done before lol. It should be good and I'm looking forward to it (mainly because I will be kid free lol)

Have fun in Melbourne Maz. Let your MIL take over for you and you have a good rest up lol we mum's need it.