thanks so much for your replys they have helped me and i apriciate your honesty i have made a few decisions and im now thinking more clearly i hope i never have to leave my girls but i hope my will takes care of them as equals. i have talked about equality with my dp but seem to be banging my head against a brick wall!! Its somthing i have to sort out as i do love him but i also love all my girls. its a situation that was raised a few years ago and i think i chose to ignore but has been raised again now with the wills and i think ive realised its not going to change and it hurts more now and makes me see him in a different light