Lucy in the sky with diamonds.
Hun, there are some things you have to let go of. There are some things you need to talk to your DH about. You have alot of kids and if you are the only one taking care of the house - either you turn a blind eye to the mess, or DH stays up and finishes everything WITH you before he goes to bed.
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may God bless you
Lucy in the sky with diamonds.
Well now you have bubs 4 and 5. Things are different, not everything can stay the same. If you can't get everything sorted in a day without superpowers you might have to realign your expectations. Unless you can find the fricken dishwashing fairy - that biratch was supposed to be here week ago and she never showed up.
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may God bless you
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Your mum probably didn't do as well as you think. I used to think my mum worked miracles, but now I realise the house was barely clean, meals weren't always fantastic.. I think she rarely vacuumed. BUt tables were always clean and clothes were always ironed.. I guess she prioritised those over clean carpets and dust free window sills? Perhaps u can try to tturn a blind eye to grimy tables and messy rooms?
Lucy in the sky with diamonds.
You aren't your mum though. What did she do? My mum is awesome at keeping a spectacular house and it takes all of my being to even CARE about it. It's not genetic.
I never thought I would be at home taking care of a kid with special needs but I am. I thought by now I would be back in my high flying big ass money job again.....but I'm not.
So what do I do? Change what I can and be at peace with the things I can't.
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Big hugs hun. Perhaps you could sit down with hubby and let him know how overwhelmed you are. Work out some little jobs that he would be happy doing each day, he commits to them and then it doesn't matter how long it takes him to do those jobs as long as they get done that day. I would pick something like cleaning up DS's room before he goes to bed and the dishes, if it takes him 40 mins to wash the dishes that's ok, just put it out of your mind as one of your jobs. Also are the older kids doing any chores? When I was 12 I was doing a simple dinner for the family once a week and my brother and I took turns each night, one night I washed the dishes the next night I took out the rubbish and vice versa for my brother. Doesn't have to be a huge job for it to make a difference to your work load.
Also I agree with re-assessing your goals. Before DS started walking and running the house was absolutely spotless to the point of ridiculousness. I now have realised that doing the floors every second or third day is much more reasonable than expecting myself to do them every single day. In actual fact since I made that decision DF has started doing the floors occasionally. Not every day but maybe once a week or so. I also sat down with him the other day and said I can't go to uni, make a baby, look after Orlando and keep the house perfect and meals gourmet everyday. He's turned around and started cleaning up after himself more and making sure to help out when he's not at work. Also with the nappies. Tell hubby if he wants the money they are going to bring in he needs to take the kids for a bit each day so you can sit down and do them because if you keep trying to do it all at once you are going to end up with a sewing machine needle through your finger!
I can't imagine doing what you do and I think you're amazing, but I also think you forget alot that if you don't take care of yourself there will be no one to take care of your family.
xx
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Hun, you are doing an AMAZING job, anyone would be overwhelmed with the daily work that goes into a large family. I don't have a large family so not sure if my ideas will work and hope some of the mums with large families can also come in and post. Just one idea...have a family meeting, explain the situation as much as is relevant to your childrens ages, work out a chore sheet, with jobs for the 12, 9 and even 5 year old can do one thing a day. Can the kids have their own tidy-up areas - lounge, playroom, sons room to do each day, hubby can have a some chores....I think delegation is the key in large families, I am sure that is the only way they used to be able to do it in the 'old' days. Are there some jobs on your list that can be done every two or three days instead of every day. I always think whatever chore I get done, is a chore I get done rather than focusing on all the work that I don't get done each day. Your doing great Squidipa.
xxx
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yeah that!
plus to help make life easier. Take a basket from room to room with you and pick everything up. Put it in the basket and leave it till you can get back to it. I hate mess but my house is so messy, it drives me insane. but I have chosen to just chill. I can either be on my feet all day cleaning cleaning and then recleaning due to kids making a mess or I can do a fast tidy up in the afternoon (or morning depends on mood) Also when I see the kids have dropped something where it shouldn't belong I call them back and make them pick it up, it would be heaps easier if I just picked it upp but they need to learn they can't just drop stuff
now don't get me wrong I too have days where it is all just so overwhelming. And my Dh is so lazy lol. I honestly don't think he has ever cleaned the bathroom since we had kids, I have a go at him for it all the time thoughHe does cook dinner most nights though and helps with baths ect. but its not enough and I tell him so but he still hasn't changed.
Anyways not sure if any of that helped but I hope your Day today is better (oh and ps just clean up the food mess and leave any other messes until monday when most of the kids go to school) Also I would be questioning that laptop. I think 2600 min is ridiculous and they can do it cheaper.. Why can't they go the little ones that you can get for under 1000
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