Results 1 to 12 of 12

Thread: Should I Have A Fourth??

  1. #1

    Red face Should I Have A Fourth??

    Hi...
    I have 3 children, 10, 8 and 3.
    & I so really want a fourth baby, Ive always wanted 4...
    My husband isnt as keen as me, he sees, bigger family, bigger house,(which we rent) bigger car, etc...
    we have sat down and weighed pros and cons,
    And we both understand each others points and opinions, we just both are at opposite sides of the scale, and Im not sure how it will end up.
    I dont want to be unhappy because I cant have the last baby I feel will complete our family, but I also dont want my husband to have another baby for me, and be unhappy himself. even though I know he'd love the baby, I just dont want it to come between us.
    So, I was wondering If anyone out there with more than 3 can give me any advise or let me know if it altered life alot more than having the three.
    hmmm, I wonder if my dreams come true??? lol
    Thanks for listening, and I look forward to any replies!!!
    Kel
    xox

    Last edited by *Kel*; March 2nd, 2007 at 08:17 AM.

  2. #2

    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    on the sunny Eastern Shore
    Posts
    1,165

    Default

    Hi Kel, sorry I can't help, but I'm interested to follow your thread. My two are close (13 months) and now that TTC#3 is taking longer than I expected I've begun thinking maybe a 4th close to the 3rd. Not too sure as DH also says no. I'll keep an eye out, and hope you reach an answer you both are happy with soon!

  3. #3

    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Location
    melton, victoria
    Posts
    1,891

    Default

    hi kel,we had 3 and were not planning a fourth at all but life had other plans for us,i was very upset about the pregnancy for various reasons including the things you have mentioned but we love our little guy and are very pleased he is here,it is not easy but i cant wait till im older and we have this wonderfully huge family around us to keep us company,goodluck with your decision.
    nikki

  4. #4

    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    Pakenham, Victoria
    Posts
    906

    Default

    well, I am undiseded on having a 3rd so i really can not help you, I just love babies, but my DH does not really want a tired and some days i would really love another one, and then some days i don't. I think for us Only Time will tell

  5. #5

    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Location
    Western Australia
    Posts
    2,300

    Default

    Well I say go for it. I was a bit like you after 3 and then we decided not to have 4 and my Dh had the snip! Big mistake!!!! He had to go back...get unsnipped so we could go for that much cherished 4! 4 works for us...even with the big gap...and we already had the bigger car and while our middle two daughters do share a room..its not a problem at all..they actually wanted to anyway.

    Jo

  6. #6
    mrmoo Guest

    Default

    You know within yourself whether your right to have another baby or not and you should follow that instinct. For me, I knew that no.4 was on his way and after I had him, I knew that he was my last. In answer he really his prolonging his babyhood (which is nice for me).

    With no. 4 though there does come the issue of the family car, it's not suitable! You can't have family outtings, simply because legally there isn't enough seatbelts! You have to upgrade to a 7 or 8 seater.

  7. #7

    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    NSW
    Posts
    21

    Default

    I have four and like you my family just didn't feel complete when we only had three. My advice is to try to at least get your husband's support before you go ahead with number four. Having a large family keeps you busier and all things added up, the pregnancy could be a stressful time for you, so it is important to have his support. But then, granted your kids are more spread out than mine, so maybe they will be able to be a bit more helpful.
    I think (from other people's stories) that if you keep bringing up the topic (not to the point where you are nagging) but just as an idea, your DH might become more used to the idea and accepting of it. Do you have any friends or relatives with newborns? Maybe if they brought their babies around to your home while your hubby was there and he could see how cute they were and how happy you were around them that might make him think differently too... or get together with people with larger families and talk about it with them - the pros and cons.. I think most people ONCE they have reached a larger sized family will see the pros over the cons and not have much bad stuff to say about it. I can't say anything bad about it even though obviously it's not perfect - it's perfect for us.
    Anyway, just some ideas...
    Good luck!

  8. #8

    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    Sydney NSW
    Posts
    4,837

    Default

    Thats what scares me about 4, the car and the house (and my age LOL) We are seriously tempted to have another one and DD#1 pointed out she doesn'twant to go anywhere with us anyway LOL Also she can drive in Nov this year and could be on her Ps the year after. But then does it look like I'm kicking her out of the family to fit someone else in?

  9. #9

    Default

    Ooh, Thanks so much for all the advise so far,
    ~Monabap, I have had alot of newborns around me within the last year, And I love it, Maybe I do nag my husband a little too much, He knows how much I adore babies, and how much I'd love another, He has almost banned me from watching "saving babies" lol, I dont think I can get through the first 5 mins of that show without shedding a tear~
    Im super clucky, and as I come from a family of 6 children, I know what it is like to be in a larger family.
    Maybe I should not bring up the topic with him for a little while and then see...??
    My 3 yr old often says to DH, 'daddy can I have a real baby for my birthday', It's so cute...
    I guess only time will tell!

  10. #10

    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    SA great!
    Posts
    315

    Default

    christine i have 2, and my dhs 2 (inc. a 16 yo 'L' plater LOL) live with us half the time aswell.
    dh didn't really want me to have my 3rd, but i guess i wouldn't take no for an answer - you know if its really important to you. i knew i would regret it always if it didnt happen.
    he is happy now, loves babies - but it does mean considering larger cars and later retirement for him
    anyways, the 16 rarely goes out with us now - if he does we take 2 cars LOL. when this baby is born we will have to always take 2 cars. eventually will get a bigger car.
    so that is an option for the rare times you all do go out together as a family - only disadvantage with that is if dh wants to have a few drinks

  11. #11

    Default

    Im only on my 2nd now... but DH and i would like a big family.....i said 3-4 and he said 4-6. So i know once i get to 3 or 4...ill be asking the same question.. do i want another....and i can predict the answer will be yes. It all depends on ur situation......but it takes 2 to tango and u both have to be happy with the idea.

    Goodluck in what ever u may choose to do!

  12. #12
    mrmoo Guest

    Default

    You have to be completely 100% comfortable with the whole deal about having another baby... including pregnancy, labour and afterwards. I was a month from turning 39 when I had my fourth baby and was happy to have a balance. My first two are now 14 and 12 years and now my second two are 3 and 1 years. I was also over *ideal* weight but that was never an issue as I always felt fine and bp was fine. Only the swelling of the feet was an issue! Happy families any which way.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •