I have no experience in all this whatsoever but could you all sit down when you are together and set some ground rules for everyone, around speaking respectfully, talking about how it feels to be a blended family, that you ARE a blended family and need to work together to make it work. Get the kids to input as much as they can, and talk about it and the "rules" if you like. Do you all live together permanently? Either way a family meeting would be a good way to air how everyone is feeling, and talk about what needs to be done as well. We do a "best part of your day" chat at dinnertime which works well (younger kids though) but I feel it gives them a chance to have a voice when everyone is attentive and listening. I may be way off the mark in which case I do hope you find something that helps hun - must be really tough