Wow, tough one isn't it? On the one hand I think he's 18 years old he really SHOULD have a job. I mean i was 16/17 and I was working 40 hours a week as well as school, but my parents were hard like that. But I tend to agree with Flowerchild on this one (again, get out of my head flowerchild lol) it's really hard because he IS your step son, so unless you guys can work this out and be a team, I think maybe your dh should just handle it, and it's really hard because your working and having to pay for stuff etc. But I know if I had a child and I was married to someone who wasn't the father and they were harping on at them (not saying your doing that) I'd be like 'back off. I hope you guys can find a solution.

ETA:

:yeahthat:
when i say this to dh that when both of us were 16/17 we had jobs he just turns it back and says 'today is tougher and its not about you "
so yes i will be stepping back from now on