Re the "thank you" tangent, IMHO an automatic "thank you" doesn't equate to a hollow thank you.

I would like to think that my DS1, who almost invariably says thank you and (often but not as consistently) says please has been brought up to have an attitude of gratitude and respect, rather than that he's been brought up to spout meaningless words.

He has, to my belief, understood the meaning, appropriate context and heart of a genuine "thank you" and he uses it appropriately - having seen it used appropriately and genuinely by those whose behaviour he models.